


any reason

by paishhao



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Background Relationships, Canon Universe, Communication Failure, Developing Relationship, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Romance, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, M/M, Minor Jeon Wonwoo/Kim Mingyu, Xu Ming Hao | The8 is Bad at Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-14
Updated: 2020-05-18
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:02:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 47,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23621263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paishhao/pseuds/paishhao
Summary: Minghao is very sure that Junhui is his best friend. When Junhui confesses, Minghao has to figure out how to deal with that and himself.
Relationships: Wen Jun Hui | Jun/Xu Ming Hao | The8
Comments: 44
Kudos: 187





	1. October through December

**Author's Note:**

> this is about 34k words I wrote for my own amusement during quarantine  
> warnings: this is the first thing I've written and it's unbetaed. I'm proofreading the rest but everything is technically all written out. I'm just segmenting them out in chapters to make it easier to digest (I'll update it once a week if I remember), hope you enjoy!
> 
> [side pairings: minwon/meanie, hints of verkwan, jihan, jeongcheol, soonhoon later on]

mid-October

Junhui is Minghao’s best friend. Minghao’s very sure of this. Which is why he feels like he has some authority when he proposes the following theory.

Something’s wrong with Junhui.

And not in the “he’s a weird, hyperactive prankster, oh god please calm down” way that Minghao usually expects. Junhui’s been avoiding him and acting weird on stage. By “acting weird on stage”, Minghao means he notices that Junhui’s making sure he’s never standing near Minghao, and if he is, then it’s not for long. So it would technically also go under avoiding.

Minghao’s also gotten used to Junhui coming to him whenever he’s anxious or needs help. Junhui hasn’t done that in a while. Typically, Minghao would just assume that means Junhui _has_ no anxiousness he needs help with, but that doesn’t feel like the case, especially with all the stages going on lately.

At one point on stage, the MC across the stage asks Junhui if he’s learned any new pickup lines he’d like to share with fans. Minghao looks at him in anticipation, being the one most frequently on the receiving end of Junhui’s pickup lines, and notices Junhui quickly make eye contact with him before turning the opposite direction and putting a hand on Hansol’s shoulder to tell him a pun-based pickup line.

Interesting. Time for experimentation. At the next venue, he decides to stand next to Junhui and put a hand on his shoulder and asks Junhui if he’s learned any new pickup lines. Junhui looks at him like he’s never seen him before and asks “What’s wrong with you?” in Japanese in exaggerated disgust. They’re not even _in_ Japan this time, but sure.

Final experiment. Next day, same venue, same question, standing right beside Junhui. Junhui makes an over-the-top shocked face and wanders all the way over to Jihoon to say the pickup line.

During a break, where they’re prepping while the Vocal Team performs for a set, Minghao pulls Junhui aside.

“Are you okay?”

Junhui doesn’t meet his eyes. “Yeah, just tired, but I’ll get through it.”

“Jun-ah, look at me,” Minghao says, concerned. “If you’re feeling anxious, you know you can always come to me, right?”

Junhui does look at him but his eyes aren’t lit up the way they usually are; they’re slightly dull and unhappy. Maybe he is really tired. “I know, Myungho,” he says with a nod.

Minghao points a finger and lowers his head, and hopes he doesn’t look too much like a scolding school teacher. "You..." _you're okay, right?,_ is what he's about to say. Junhui knows him well enough to be able to read that in his eyes and tone anyway.

"Yeah," is Junhui's shaky reply, bringing a hand to rub the side of his neck.

There's, what Minghao hopes is, a firm look in his eyes when he makes the pointing gesture again. _You're sure?,_ is the message there this time.

Junhui nods again with a sharp squeeze of his eyes and heads off to one of the dressing rooms. 

He doesn't want to insult Junhui by not believing him, so he accepts this and walks off. Junhui will tell Minghao on his own when he's ready.

* * *

Minghao’s theory and experiments ended with no real conclusion. He _was_ sure that something was off with Junhui, he just can’t prove it and he also doesn’t know what it was.

Two weeks have gone by since that day and Junhui hasn’t brought it up or come to him about it. Most shows have wrapped up but he hasn’t seen much of Junhui, just glimpses here and there. But from what he’s seen, Junhui seems to have returned to the same hyperactive flirty prankster. Minghao figures whatever was wrong, Junhui must’ve worked out on his own.

Either way, Minghao is sitting with his feet outstretched on the bed and reading about identity in feudal Japan. Or he was, until Wonwoo knocks on his door and peers in through a small opening.

"Hey, can I talk to you?"

Minghao makes a note of where he left off in his book, sticks a bookmark in there, and stashes it aside. "Yeah, sure, come in," he swings his legs around to sit cross-legged and gestures for Wonwoo to sit in the now-vacant spot in front of him. "What's up?"

Wonwoo lets out a relieved chuckle of an exhale and makes a point to close the door gently behind him. He approaches far too anxiously for Minghao to not be concerned, so he raises his brows in curiosity and leans forward until Wonwoo actually sits down.

"Hmm?"

Wonwoo opts to sit with his legs facing forward, rubbing his palms on his legs with another nervous exhale. "It's just um…"

Minghao waits quietly for Wonwoo to gather his thoughts. He feels like if he takes his eyes off Wonwoo for a second, he’ll miss something. His anxiousness reminds Minghao a bit of Junhui.

"Have you spoken to Junnie lately?" Wonwoo finally gets out. _Speaking of Junhui_.

"Sure," Junhui's been fine lately as far as he knows. They’ve spoken, but it’s been small occasions here and there. “Why? Is he okay?”

"He's been coming to me more often lately, and I know he usually goes to you so I was just wondering—" Wonwoo stops himself. "I wanted to ask if something happened between you two, like a fight or something like that?"

Minghao's not quite sure what to do with this. "He's been fine whenever I saw him?" He says with a curious tilt of his head. Granted, whenever he _did_ see Junhui, it’s been fairly brief lately, but the point still stands. "I can’t think of anything like a fight though, sorry."

At first, Minghao thought he was imagining that Junhui speaking to him less or almost avoiding him was a coincidence, but Wonwoo mentioning it makes it seem like it’s not entirely in Minghao’s head.

Wonwoo pushes his glasses up by the bridge as he lets out a sort of soulless chuckle. "Ah, I see." He stands up. "Don't worry about it then."

Something's up. "He seemed off about something a couple weeks ago, but he said he was fine when I asked, so I left it," Minghao offers, hoping Wonwoo will add more onto that.

"Ah yeah," Wonwoo says, as if he's recalling something.

Curious. "Did he say anything to you?"

"No more so than usual," Wonwoo supplies vaguely, stretching backward in an exaggerated cat-like manner. Even more curious.

It was probably a dumb question to ask, considering that Minghao already knew Wonwoo wouldn't tell him anything about Junhui that Junhui didn't say to Minghao himself. He's loyal like that.

"Don't worry me like that," Minghao says with a grin as he stands up to shake Wonwoo. He has to lighten the mood somehow. "I thought something bad was happening," he pats Wonwoo's chest and may have let out a giggle.

Wonwoo, on the other hand, doesn't play along. "I think you might need to talk to him," is all he says, standing up straight again. "I don’t think he would approach you first about this, and it's not that I can't handle it—I mean I can, I just don't think I'm the one he should be talking to, y'know?"

What happened to ‘ _Don’t worry about it_ then’? "No, I don't know," Minghao says.

Minghao knows how anxious Junhui gets sometimes, especially with performances, so he also knows that going to confront him about it won't help. Minghao has always given Junhui the space he needs to work things out on his own, but also makes sure Junhui knows that he can come to him if it gets too much.

Junhui knows that, so if it were related to one of those worries, he would've come to Minghao by now. But he hasn’t, so Minghao doesn't know. He says this much to Wonwoo while adding, "I don't wanna push him."

There's a long, strange silence before Wonwoo puts his hand on Minghao's shoulder and says, "I get it," with a resigned exhale.

When Wonwoo leaves his room moments later, Minghao still isn't sure what Wonwoo means.

\-----

"Maybe you went too far on something," Mingyu says in a distracted tone, leaning forward on the kitchen counter to squint at his phone perched nicely in the stand. "I need _more_ onion? I thought I got enough already."

Minghao makes a grunt of acknowledgment, chin sitting in his hands and elbows resting on the kitchen island counter across from where Mingyu is figuring out the vegetables he needs to chop. "Maybe. But he’s good at telling me when that happens."

"Why don't you just talk to him?" Mingyu says as he dices up the onion that he just plucked from the fridge.

"Junnie usually comes to me on his own."

"Did you ever think that that's the problem?" The onions hit the pot with a sizzle as Mingyu smiles proudly down on it.

Minghao doesn't respond but is definitely paying more attention.

Mingyu seems to have noticed so he continues, "Like, if you come to me all the time and I never tell you anything that's on _my_ mind, how would you feel about it?"

"You _don't_ have anything on your mind, though," Minghao says a little too quickly, but there's no real bite behind it as he giggles. His lips form a tight line, holding in more laughter and looking at up Mingyu expectantly for a reaction.

"Fuck you, you know what I mean," Mingyu starts tossing the onions around in the pan. "He tells you all these things he's worried about and you don't tell him much about anything remotely close to that cold, iron, walled-off heart of yours. At least that's how I'm hearing it."

Minghao pauses. "I _don't_ have anything like that that I don't already say to everyone already though." Minghao is blunt and not scared of saying what's on his mind. Everyone is painfully aware of this.

"Insecurities, nothing?" Mingyu supplies. "C'mon, everyone has them. I'm not saying tell me but maybe Jun thinks he's not special to you because he pours his guts out to you and he might feel like you don't trust him enough with yours."

"I tell him stuff," Minghao says through a pout as he repositions himself on his seat. "He knows I trust him."

Mingyu finally seems about ready to throw some meat into the pan. "Look, I'm just guessing here, you're closer to him than I am."

This shuts Minghao up for a while. He _would_ make a bad joke about how Mingyu should ask Wonwoo to ask Junhui for him but Minghao doesn't see the point in beating around the bush like that.

But if he confronts Junhui, would that mean that Minghao doesn't trust him as much as he thought he did? Minghao has never told Junhui but it's a line he's never been interested in crossing. Confronting Junhui was never an option because Minghao always wanted to make sure the other was comfortable enough to come to _him_ first. It was a weird unspoken rule he had with himself.

Mingyu must've been thankful for the silence because his pot of food is just about done, and he breaks Minghao out of his thoughts by asking him to get the bowls for him to start distributing the food.

Minghao is about to offer to round up the members when Junhui walks into the kitchen. Minghao half-stands from his seat and is about to say something but freezes. Junhui passes behind Mingyu on his way to the fridge, returning with a water bottle, stopping when he sees the food in front of Mingyu.

"Guys, food!" Junhui yells in his usual tone, doing an awkward one-arm hug at Mingyu's back. Minghao finally gets a good look and sees that his eyes are a bit redder than usual and slightly puffy.

"Junhui?" Minghao starts in a questioning tone, not realizing he used the Mandarin pronunciation, and makes a pointing gesture to his own eyes.

Junhui looks slightly surprised and blinks a couple of times. He puts the water bottle down on the counter to prod around his eyes with the sides of his index fingers, blinking rapidly.

"Did the onions get you?" Minghao continues, still not noticing he slipped into Mandarin.

"Ahh," Junhui dabs the heel of his palm onto his eyes. "I was watching a sad drama with Wonwoo," he replies in Korean. Junhui grabs a bowl in front of Mingyu, along with his water bottle, as he heads out. He doesn't forget to call out a “thanks for the food,” to Mingyu.

Minghao is about to say something but the other members have already piled in and grabbed at the closest bowl they can, each calling out their thanks to Mingyu.

When Wonwoo appears, his eyes look fine.

"What drama are you watching with Junnie?" Minghao asks suddenly.

"Drama?" Wonwoo replies, taking his bowl and slurping some black bean noodles into his mouth. He looks to Mingyu, as if hoping he would fill in the blanks for him through eye telepathy of their own.

"Junnie just passed by and Minghao said his eyes were ... something, I'm not sure," Mingyu pauses and makes a face, "and Jun said he was watching a sad drama with you," he finishes with a sigh, leaning one hand against the counter.

"I thought the onions you diced affected his eyes!" Minghao says in a more defensive tone than he'd like. "He was kinda red-eyed and teary."

Mingyu raises his hands in mock defense and takes a small step back, "You didn't say that in Korean so I wouldn't know."

Oh. Minghao really didn't notice.

"Ahh," Wonwoo says while chewing. Minghao feels like he's heard Wonwoo make that acknowledgement noise more often than he's heard anything else lately. "That bastard must have watched some episodes ahead of me," it's not _entirely_ convincing when he says that, but Wonwoo still makes his way back to the same room that Junhui did without another word.

Minghao must have been making a sour face because Mingyu hits his shoulder lightly with a towel. He’s about to protest how Junhui and Wonwoo's stories about the drama don't match up, but Mingyu nods with an ‘I know’ face, and shoves a black bean noodle-filled bowl in front of him, "Eat," is all he says.

Minghao does eat, but not without feeling some tension between his brows.

* * *

November

Whenever Minghao and Junhui do Chinese press interviews, the question of "what pickup lines do you know?" always comes up, without fail. It's usually accompanied by "say 10 compliments about each other," (usually in 30 seconds) but luckily, if all thirteen members are there, the compliment question usually gets omitted. No such luck for the pickup lines question, though.

Minghao nods at the PD, turns to Junhui, one forearm on his shoulder and holding the microphone with the other hand. "What's that spinning ride in the carnival called?"

He and Junhui learned this one a while back. Repeatedly. Because when Junhui asked their friend to teach him and Minghao five pickup lines, their friend insisted he only knew the one and just repeated it five times, which Junhui had amusingly treated as essentially the same thing.

However, Junhui's reacting like Minghao just grew an extra head. He shakes his head quickly once in confusion. His huge eyes blink at him in an odd silence.

 _Work with me here, Junhui_ , Minghao tries to say with his eyes.

"I don't..." Junhui says nervously into his mic, turning towards the PD and probably hoping they either edit this out or help him.

Minghao breaks into a laugh and playfully hits Junhui's chest. "Do you not remember this one?" He says in Korean for the benefit of the members.

Up close, Minghao can see the gears in Junhui's head turning for a second, but thankfully, they're far enough from the cameras that it looks like Junhui just started laughing out of embarrassment.

"Ah, ah! I remember! I remember, do it again! Please edit this out," Junhui says in a mix of Korean and Mandarin, trying to save himself from the members’ laughter and the PD’s editing.

"How is it supposed to go?" Seungkwan asks from somewhere behind Minghao.

Minghao turns to him, "So I ask what the name of the spinning carnival ride is called. In Chinese, the ride is pronounced 'mua', like a kiss noise. So he would answer that, and I would repeat it but more," Minghao wiggles himself side to side a bit, "flirty, I guess?"

"Ooh, try it on me," Seungkwan says cheerfully.

When he says it to Seungkwan, he throws in an air kiss for dramatics, which surprises the Jeju boy for a beat before he returns it with even more flourish. Most of the members break into clapping and laughter.

Minghao turns to look at Junhui, who is mostly laughing awkwardly out of good nature. Hopefully he's not too embarrassed that he got the response wrong, "See, that's how it's supposed to go," Minghao reprimands Junhui with teasing fondness, shaking him and laughing.

"I acknowledge, I apologize," Junhui says in Mandarin towards the camera, raising his hand. Minghao smiles at him and lets out some more giggles while Junhui sighs dramatically with a shake of his head, looking at his cue cards.

When shooting ends, the members stand up, bow at the production staff with plenty of “thanks” and “you worked hard!” They're returning their mics when Minghao pulls on Junhui's wrist. "Should we prepare more pickup lines for next time just in case?"

Junhui makes a small _tsk_ sound, "Amateurs prepare, I just know them," he says confidently. Minghao knows Junhui probably has a whole archive of them stored somewhere in his brain.

"Sorry, I thought you knew that one. Victor told it to us 11 times," Minghao says with a laugh and light pat to the back of Junhui’s neck.

Minghao suddenly feels something in the atmosphere change and it makes him think he’s in dangerous territory, “I’ll just let you tell one next time, you’re better at them.” It shouldn’t feel like Minghao threw that out there to save himself, but yet it somehow does in a weird pit of his stomach.

Junhui is quiet, eyes looking past him with an unreadable expression. “Yeah, we’ll just do that,” he says finally, voice slightly shaky. His eyes flicker to the side to see Jisoo walking by and Junhui’s expression changes back into an over-excited puppy. He bounds off after the older, slinging an arm around his shoulders.

Minghao feels like he’s been having far too many encounters where the other person leaves the conversation without giving him adequate answers and it’s starting to annoy him.

“That was weird,” Mingyu’s voice comes up behind him.

“Yes, thank you. I thought I was the only one,” Minghao exhales in exasperation.

“No, you’re weird too.” Mingyu doesn’t even try to stop the hit Minghao lands on his shoulder. “But I see what you mean; he’s not usually like that with you. Or with anyone, actually.”

Minghao stares after Junhui, watching him talk animatedly with Jisoo and Chan, very different from how he was when Minghao was talking to him just a few minutes ago. Something _is_ off and Minghao doesn’t know what. He’s hoping Junhui will eventually come tell _him_ but he’s not sure how much longer he can wait.

Junhui _does_ end up being the one to say pickup lines during their next Chinese press tour stop about three days later. Except he does it to an unsuspecting Chan instead. It’s a curious choice seeing that, as the Mandarin-speaking representatives, Junhui and Minghao are usually seated front and center, and this time, Chan was seated on the far left. This meant that Junhui ended up leaning over Minghao and speaking past a confused Hansol, just to ask Chan a pickup line that the youngest just managed to translate in his brain but isn’t sure what the response is supposed to be.

It’s a bit awkward and doesn’t _quite_ get the response the PDs wanted, especially since the other members don’t know how to react, but they move onto the next question nonetheless.

When Minghao looks around in confusion, he catches the eye of Wonwoo at an angle behind him who widens his eyes in an equally confused expression.

“I’ll definitely talk to him,” Minghao mutters to himself, running a frustrated hair through his bangs and trying to stop tension he feels growing between his brows.

Apparently, space be damned; he’s going to have to confront Junhui after all.

* * *

December

Minghao waits a few more days after they’re back in Korea before asking Junhui to go to a Chinese restaurant with him. Sure, they just got back from Chinese press tours a few weeks or so ago, but the two of them can’t stay away from the food for long. He tries hard to make it not seem like an ambush, and even lets Junhui get his _Luosifen_ noodles that Minghao was always on the fence about but Junhui misses so very much.

Junhui sighs theatrically as he sits down across Minghao. Minghao fails to suppress a laugh as he slurps some _congee_. Junhui had just come back from his third time telling the server that he wants to make his dish spicier. The server in question had blanched and told Junhui that he has to speak to the chef directly and that he’s responsible for whatever happens.

“We’ve been here so often, you’d think they’d just know you by now,” Minghao smiles. “Put your picture up somewhere, ‘this man will ask for more spice and we approved his death wish’.”

Junhui lets out another sigh after sipping his complimentary tea. “I think that server’s new,” he shakes his head in exaggerated disappointment and takes out his phone, becoming lost in the screen.

“Did they make you sign anything?” Minghao continues joking.

“Yeah, they took my mugshot, I signed it, and now it’s hanging by the chef station as my unwavering consent to spice up my food to hell and back,” Junhui replies dryly, going along with a wistful smile. Minghao notices that even when Junhui looks away from his phone, he looks around everywhere except at Minghao himself.

“I mean, it _would_ make things easier.”

Junhui hums in acknowledgement and takes another sip of tea. They fall into a comfortable silence while Minghao slurps some more _congee_ porridge. He gestures at his side dishes to let Junhui know he can take some if he wants. He’s relieved when he sees Junhui’s chopsticks reach over, grab some slivers of pickled ginger, and shove them in his mouth.

Minghao feels a bit bad that he’s almost done his _congee_ when the server finally slides Junhui’s _Luosifen_ bowl back in front of him, broth looking a darker red than when it left. Junhui smiles and nods his head in thanks at the server, who makes curious eye contact with Minghao as he backs away with Minghao’s empty dishes.

“I think he’s scared of you,” Minghao says with a grin, leaning forward like he’s telling a secret. It’s a bit odd but Minghao is going to grab any chance to talk to Junhui, especially after the past few weeks.

Junhui is slurping through a mouthful of noodles but his face still scrunches up in laughter.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if he is,” Minghao absent-mindedly takes out his phone, leaning his chin in his hand, elbow propped on the table. “The amount of spice you can handle is pretty terrifying,” he holds his phone between his thumb and middle finger, spinning it. He finds himself grinning at the thought.

Junhui swallows the noodles in his mouth and is about to protest but seems to decide against it as he sips some broth from the soup spoon, muttering how it’s still not spicy through a shaky exhale.

Minghao eyes him carefully. “So, Wonwoo says I should talk to you,” he says and stops spinning his phone.

Coughing erupts from Junhui and it’s a relief that the spoon is far enough away from him that he doesn’t make too big of a mess. Minghao waits for him to recover and Junhui wipes his mouth with his napkin. “He did?”

Minghao smiles fondly and reaches over with his free hand to dab a spare napkin at the broth droplets near Junhui’s cheek that he didn’t quite get, “Yeah, it seemed important. I didn’t want to pry if you didn’t want to tell me yourself but I’m getting more concerned,” he says, keeping his voice gentle.

Junhui’s eyes start darting around again. He looks like he’s having an internal battle about whether to say something or hold back.

“You know I won’t judge you, so if you ever want to tell me anything, I’ll listen to you,” Minghao offers reassuringly when he senses Junhui doesn’t have a response. “We don’t have to do this here. I just know I should talk to you because I also feel like something’s been off lately.”

“Was the _Luosifen_ bribery?” Junhui chuckles out uneasily as a joke.

“Hmm, a little,” Minghao replies with a sly smile.

“I forgot how straightforward you can be sometimes,” Junhui mumbles, eyes back on his bowl as he stirs the spoon around a little to distract himself.

Straightforwardness was one of the ways they were opposites. Junhui keeps his thoughts in his head and lets them swim until he can’t handle them, while Minghao says whatever thoughts he has that he knows he needs to say, embarrassment be damned.

Minghao lets Junhui’s response float in the air and lets him finish his _Luosifen_ bowl in silence. It’s not as awkward as he would’ve thought. The only words spoken are when Minghao counts down from three to take a _selca_ with him smiling in front of a slurping Junhui.

Minghao goes to pay, ignoring the cautious eye the server is giving to Junhui standing behind him. They do a slight bow of the head and leave. The December air is chilly enough to bite a bit and Minghao pulls his coat collar closer around his neck as they walk home.

Junhui is walking beside him, hands shoved in his pockets and teeth chattering. Minghao links his arm around one of Junhui’s and smiles up at him, noting how the sound of chattering teeth stops so he pats Junhui’s arm in comfort. They don’t talk on the way back because it’s too cold and Minghao knows Junhui can’t handle it.

“Oh my god!” Seungkwan screeches as soon as they come back. “What is _that_?”

Minghao shrugs his coat off and toes his shoes off. “It’s called _fashion_ , you peasants still haven’t learned yet,” he slings with a tired laugh for show as he hangs his coat up. Junhui laughs as he hangs his coat up along with him.

“No, I mean,” Seungkwan says as he cautiously walks closer. He sniffs near them, yelps, and runs back across the room to open a window without another word.

Oh, right. Minghao remembers why Junhui rarely gets _Luosifen_ : the smell. Even when they were in China, Junhui didn’t eat it since he had wanted to eat all meals with the members and knew that the smell of _Luosifen_ might drive them off. _Minghao_ can barely tolerate it, but Junhui loves eating it and Minghao wants Junhui to have what makes him happy, so he usually ignores it.

This time, he didn’t really notice it. Or he got used to it somehow. Maybe he just knows what to expect.

Jeonghan wanders in, likely alerted by Seungkwan’s screaming. He insists that he needs to know, at all times, what’s bothering the children. He pauses when he steps into the general area, sniffs, and looks towards Junhui and Minghao at the entryway.

Junhui raises his hand, bows and says, “I’ll go take a shower,” without argument.

“I’ll go tell Mingyu to wash our clothes,” Minghao offers, pulling their jackets back down with a sigh.

Jeonghan nods, as if he’s just finished a successful meeting.

\----- 

“You would all combust into flames without me,” Mingyu says as he starts up the washing machine. “Smelly, hungry flames.”

Minghao scoffs. “Well, the smell was caused by food, so it wouldn’t _really_ be both.”

“You’re welcome, by the way,” Mingyu huffs good-naturedly. He makes his way to leave. “You should shower too, though.”

Minghao knows he’s right. At least he had the good sense to change into some other clothes first before he asked Mingyu to start the wash. When he’s finished his shower, he finds Junhui in his room, fresh from his own shower, sitting cross-legged on the bed and looking anxious. Minghao can sense they’re about to finish their conversation from the restaurant, so he closes the door behind him and walks to his cooler for his wine in his usual routine, like Junhui being there is normal.

“You’re right,” Junhui says suddenly.

“About what?” Minghao asks as he pours his usual amount in a glass he also has stashed in one of the cupboards. He offers the glass to Junhui who shakes his head, expression still distracted. Minghao takes a seat cross-legged on the floor to face Junhui, who is fidgety and nervous.

“Something’s been off but I—I didn’t,” he pauses and flaps his arms in his shirt until the sleeves cover his hands, “I didn’t know how to talk to you about it.” He’s looking straight ahead at the wall, lost in thought.

Minghao isn’t sure what to say. He tries to stop himself from throwing around random guesses since that won’t really help.

“I just—” Junhui wipes his hand down his face in frustration. His face looks like it did when he told Minghao he was supposedly “ _watching a drama with Wonwoo_ ”.

Minghao silently puts his wine glass down on top of the cooler, goes over to sit in front of Junhui on the bed and holds his sleeve-covered hands. He swings their arms around a little; it’s a bit silly, but it’s all he can think of.

Part of Minghao’s unwritten rules, along with never confronting Junhui (until today, at least), was not to interrupt him when he’s trying to talk about something. He always waits for the other to speak until he looks up at Minghao for a response. That was the system they had. It was comfortable.

“I – I’m just – the pickup lines,” Junhui manages in a low voice, staring down at their hands. His eyes are getting red and Minghao gets up to bring over a tissue box. In a foolish moment, he tries to connect their hands again before realizing Junhui needs his to wipe his eyes and blow his nose.

He lets Junhui start an ugly pile of tissues on his floor in front of him before reconnecting their hands and rubbing his thumb over the backs of Junhui’s hands. Minghao is a little bit jealous of how Junhui is, of course, one of the pretty criers. His face doesn’t contort into a wailing mess, just slightly more teary.

Junhui looks up at him so Minghao speaks, “What about pickup lines? Is it because of that time I had to say it to Seungkwan instead?” Minghao asks in a small voice. When Junhui nods, Minghao continues, “Are you still embarrassed? Don’t worry about that, it was a mistake. The members and PDs probably don’t remember it anymore. Hell, Seungkwannie and Seokminnie have done more embarrassing things before. ”

“No, it’s not that,” Junhui pulls back one hand to dab the tissue around his eyes before dropping the tissue in his lap and reconnecting their hands. “I knew the answer to it.”

Minghao is mildly surprised. Normally, he’d make a joke about how it would be hard to forget after hearing it so many times, but he refrains, “You did?”

“I just didn’t—” Junhui sniffles and tilts his head upward in an attempt to stop incoming tears. “This was so much easier to say to Wonwoo,” he exhales with effort

There’s a thump in Minghao’s chest and a small voice in his head that goes ‘ _oh, sweetie’_ but he pushes them back. Minghao counts ‘head tilted upward’ as following his unwritten rule that he shouldn’t respond until Junhui looks at him again.

Junhui does look at him for a second before lowering his head again. “I just didn’t want to hear a pickup line from you if you didn’t mean it,” he finally says, but it’s in Mandarin. As soon as it’s out, he shrinks into himself; he pulls his hands away from Minghao and hugs his knees to his chest, trying to bring his forehead to his knees to hide his face. “I know it sounds stupid though,” he adds in a mumbling whisper that Minghao barely catches.

Minghao’s brain scrambles. “W-what do you mean, if I didn’t mean it?” Apparently, they’re continuing this conversation in Mandarin.

Junhui doesn’t lift his head. “I told Chan the pickup line that time because—” a deep breath “—I didn’t want you to answer just for it to be a joke. It would hurt too much if it was, and I didn’t want that to be real. I’ve had a crush on you for a while now. I like you, like, more than just best friends and stuff.” The end of the sentence melts into another delicate whisper.

The ‘ _oh, sweetie’_ voice is back and thumps around in Minghao’s head. Somehow, any move feels like the wrong one. He looks at Junhui’s timid form and has too many thoughts running around. He breathes out an “ _Oh_ ,” because that’s all he can do right now.

Truthfully, Minghao isn’t sure _what_ he feels; he’s never really thought about it. He’s been so focused on work, performances, dance, stages, and anything related to his health that he hasn’t let himself think about anything else.

“Please let me think a bit,” Minghao asks. Junhui releases his knees cautiously and nods, finally using the tissue from his lap to wipe at his face before discarding it into the pile on Minghao’s floor. “Do you mind if I ask since when?”

Junhui seems to have calmed down. “I’m not sure since when, but,” he pauses to dab at his eyes with a new tissue. “I know I joke around with the pickup lines and stuff, but at some point I realized I meant them when I said them to you, and I wanted them to mean something to you too, even though I know that sounds stupid.”

Junhui’s voice sounds really small and fragile and it hurts Minghao’s heart seeing him like that. He must have been holding onto these feelings for a long time. Minghao is a little frustrated at himself for not noticing sooner, but also for not knowing how he himself feels.

“I didn’t want you to brush them off anymore, I wanted you to somehow know I meant them,” he continues softly, fidgeting with his hands. “I decided to just say pickup lines to anyone except you since it wouldn’t hurt that way. I was hoping you wouldn’t notice but you pulled me aside that day. I was so scared you figured it out and were going to tell me off.”

Maybe Mingyu was right and he _did_ go too far. Minghao just thought Junhui was having stage anxiousness again. He didn’t mean to make Junhui feel bad about it, he thought Junhui knew that.

“I didn’t mean to make you feel bad that day,” Minghao offers quietly.

Junhui just nods. “Wonwoo saw me after and asked about it. He said maybe you were upset I wasn’t professional on stage but I knew that wasn’t it.”

Minghao doesn’t say anything, but offers Junhui a soft smile.

“I think that’s when he went to you,” Junhui guesses, voice still small and solemn. “Because he told me you weren’t mad and I said I knew. I told him that I liked you and he said ‘ah, that makes sense then’.” The mock deep voice used for imitating Wonwoo would’ve been funny in any other situation.

“Is that why your eyes were red that day? When you lied about watching a drama with him?” Minghao asks cautiously. Junhui looks surprised. “When I asked Wonwoo, he seemed confused at the idea of a drama being involved. And then said you watched episodes without him when _you_ said you watched them together.”

“I didn’t think you’d fact-check me,” Junhui says with a sigh.

Minghao chuckles at that and gets up, going over to his almost-forgotten wine on his cooler. “I fact-check _everyone_ ,” Minghao says before taking a sip. It makes Junhui laugh a little so Minghao feels a bit better.

He swirls the rest of the wine in the glass and stares at it. He knows that when he finishes it and goes back on the bed, he’s going to have to make a decision. Part of Minghao feels worried and guilty; guilty that he doesn’t know his own feelings, and worried because what if he isn’t able to return Junhui’s feelings properly? What if Junhui ends up liking Minghao more than Minghao likes him and it destroys him?

 _It probably already is_.

But it’s also Junhui; Junhui’s his best friend. He’s probably closer to Junhui than he is with anyone else, and if he’s being honest, he might have a bit of a soft spot for Junhui, considering the special attention he gives him sometimes. He loves all the members but he knows his first instinct is always to look for Junhui. When he thinks about it, he lets Junhui get away with things that he wouldn’t regularly let people get away with. Minghao thought that was just because Junhui was his best friend but now he’s thinking maybe there’s something there worth exploring. Besides, if Minghao isn’t willing to open up and try with Junhui, who else is it going to be? He downs the remainder of the wine.

When he sits back in front of Junhui, he grabs his hands again, swinging them lightly, “Let’s go on a date,” Minghao says, smiling.

People are always telling Junhui he looks like a cat, but in that moment, he really did resemble a deer in headlights. Cat in headlights? Minghao tries not to get sidetracked in his thoughts as he stares at Junhui, hoping he can see how sincere he is.

“Now?” is all Junhui says, and Minghao can feel how close Junhui’s heart is fluttering on his sleeve.

Minghao shakes his head with a laugh. “No, not now. It’s late and Soonyoung will kill us if we don’t get up in time for practice,” he says and Junhui agrees with a nod. “Besides, we just came back from a restaurant. But we will _definitely_ go on a date later, if you want,” he adds the last part after a pause.

Junhui breaks into a grin and starts nodding quickly, slowly returning to his usual demeanor, especially after Minghao starts rubbing the back of Junhui’s hands with his thumb again.

Minghao wants to _try_. He wants to try letting himself feel and think about things that aren’t about work and stages and performing. Mingyu was probably right when he says Minghao keeps things too far away from his heart. Not that Minghao will ever tell Mingyu that.

Especially not when he barges in with a laundry basket of their clothes from earlier, gasping in over-dramatic horror when he sees Junhui’s pile of tissues on the floor and starts nagging about how they would all die without him. He’s right about that too, but Minghao can never give him the satisfaction.

“Must be _some_ drama,” Mingyu says as he gathers the tissues in the garbage bag. He sends Minghao a knowing look. “Wonwoo was pretty upset that you watched without him, especially since it’s a _Chinese drama_ and he has no idea what’s going on without you.”

Minghao contemplates going along with Mingyu’s ruse, especially considering that it’s fairly obvious there’s no way they would be watching a drama here. He knows Mingyu’s feigning ignorance for Junhui’s sake.

Minghao’s thankful, but he also can’t let Mingyu leave unscathed, “You should watch it with him. Your Mandarin’s been getting better,” he says with a grin, standing up and stepping a bit closer to Mingyu at the doorway.

“There are Korean subtitles! That’s how Kim Heechul watches them!” Junhui pipes up from his spot. Minghao can’t tell if he’s in on it or not.

“Isn’t that your Super Junior dad?” Mingyu asks, thrown off by the sudden name being thrown in. They’ve strayed from the original point and Minghao couldn’t be more grateful. “How do you even know that?”

“Weibo,” Junhui answers, taking his phone out of his pants pocket. He taps the screen a bit and Minghao thinks he’s about to show them Heechul’s Weibo account as proof, but Junhui puts the phone away soon after. “I texted Wonwoo a good one he can watch with you!”

Mingyu’s eyes widen in a questionable expression. He leaves the room in a hurry and Minghao giggles, turning back to Junhui. “Does Wonwoo really watch Chinese dramas?”

Junhui shrugs, “He asked to see some of the series I was in once and then he got into a bit of a rabbit hole,” he finally stands up from Minghao’s bed. “He trusts my recommendations after that.”

Minghao was so sure that had been an excuse that day with Mingyu and the black bean noodles. “So that day...?” he trails off. He’s not sure where he’s going with this.

“Nah, I’m kidding. He tried to watch some and got worried about being quizzed on Korean series in the future so he said he can’t right now. But he _does_ have a list of my recommendations somewhere.”

Of course. Minghao nods. He looks at Junhui. _You’re okay now, right?_ He tries to communicate. Just in case, he grabs Junhui’s hands again. “We _are_ going on that date soon, okay?” _I’m just making sure you know and you’re okay._

Junhui just nods with a goofy grin on his face, laughing slightly. “Okay,” he says, staring at Minghao’s eyes. After a pause, he continues, “I know you keep relying on that eye communication thing, but sometimes it’s nice to _hear_ you say things, too.”

“You always know what I mean though!” Minghao protests half-jokingly.

“I know, that’s why I said it’s _nice_ to hear you say things, not that you _have to_ .” It’s Junhui’s turn to swing their arms. _I always know what you’re trying to say_ , Minghao reads from Junhui’s eyes.

Minghao’s mind flashes to something he remembers Mingyu telling him the day he was preparing the black bean noodles. “I don’t want you to think you’re not special to me, because you are. That’s why we’re going on that date and no other reason, okay?” he smiles. It felt like one of the things Junhui _needed_ to hear.

Junhui’ scrunches his face and retracts his hand to playfully punch Minghao in the chest, over his heart.. “No, you’re gonna make me cry again and then Mingyu’s gonna come in here and lecture us on the tissues.”He tilts his head upwards again in another attempt to stop his tears.

Minghao sighs, a smile creeping on his lips. He brings the hand Junhui let go of and wipes Junhui’s tears with his sleeve. He wants to make a bad joke at Mingyu’s expense about how he’s probably watching that series with Wonwoo by now. But if Mingyu isn’t around to hear it, does it really count?

Instead, his eyes search all over Junhui’s face, thinking to himself how pretty he is and how silly Minghao must have been to not see Junhui’s feelings earlier. Without thinking, he tilts Junhui’s head down and plants a kiss on his nose. He pauses. _I don’t know why I did that_ is swimming all over his eyes.

If Junhui is freaking out, he’s doing a very good job of not showing it. He breaks into another grin and it seems to give him enough courage to place an equally quick kiss on his forehead between Minghao’s eyes. When Minghao stares up at him questioningly, Junhui says, “It’s probably been feeling a lot of tension lately, right?” He points to his own and makes a furrowed face.

Minghao starts laughing. “Yeah, it has.” He doesn’t know how to kick Junhui out but he also doesn’t really want him to leave. “Goodnight, Junhui,” he tries.

“Goodnight, Minghao,” Junhui responds, but neither of their feet move, still swinging their arms around. Their hands must have reconnected without Minghao noticing. Junhui’s the one who starts searching Minghao’s face now. He stares hard at his eyes, “Can I sleep here tonight?” he says after a while.

Maybe he was able to read Minghao better than he thought. “Sure.”

Minghao is the first to let go, remembering how he needs to wash his wine glass before Mingyu finds out. Junhui runs off to brush his teeth and grab a pillow from his room. Junhui gets back first because, of course, he had less to do than Minghao did, and he’s once again sitting cross-legged on Minghao’s bed when he comes back.

They settle into the bed, Minghao wrapping his arms around Junhui’s waist at his request to be cuddled, with Junhui himself clutching the pillow he brought from his room.

Minghao waits for Junhui’s breathing to even out before he feels safe thinking to himself about what just happened. His best friend just confessed that he is romantically interested in him, and Minghao agreed to go on a date with him. Partially out of curiosity “to see what happens” (since he doesn’t know his own feelings yet), and partially because it’s Junhui and he’s never been good at saying no to Junhui.

Minghao’s never been good with feelings like this, but for Junhui, he’ll try. He can figure out his feelings along the way, and it’ll be fine, right?


	2. February through May

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Minghao agreed to go on a date with Junhui after his confession in December. Except they didn't actually set a specific date. And Minghao still has no idea what he's doing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> upon overall reflection, this chapter probably has my least fav group of scenes (besides the meeting scene) but it sets up stuff that the rest of the chapters are based on if I change too much, it might cause contradictions later on T^T  
> It has the shortest word count of the bunch and I might upload chp 3 early to make up for it. I also adjusted the tags a bit.  
> hope you enjoy!  
> ( I'm so sry I replied to comments late, I'm anxious and shy, pls forgive (*/_＼) but tsym to everyone who did or just enjoying so far~)

mid-February

Minghao and Junhui don’t find a good time to schedule their date for a good while, especially with broadcasts and performance preparations to do. Junhui isn’t mad, of course, because he’s Junhui and he understands. He hasn’t brought it up or pestered Minghao about it once. Minghao still feels guilty, though, and a little bit disappointed, but he has to push it to the back of his mind for performance sake.

During the month and a half since his conversation with Junhui, Minghao has noticed an increase in curious looks from Wonwoo. Well, Minghao still isn’t as versed in reading looks from Wonwoo as he is with Junhui or Mingyu, but they resemble the ones from when Junhui was vaguely tiptoeing around Minghao so he suspects something’s up.

The first was on the morning after Junhui slept in his room. Junhui had gotten up first because he’s the group alarm clock so Minghao woke up on his own, but was met with Wonwoo’s questioning expression as he was wandering out of his room. Minghao didn’t ask Wonwoo about it because he didn’t see what the issue was. But he _was_ curious why Wonwoo was on the eighth floor.

Minghao can let one instance pass by. However, if more of the same keep happening, then he starts getting suspicious.

He recalls when Wonwoo was passing by Minghao and Junhui laying on the sofa in one of the waiting rooms in silence; Minghao reading his feudal Japan book and Junhui playing games on his phone. Minghao had looked up to see Wonwoo’s judgemental eyes flitting continuously between Minghao to Junhui’s head resting in his lap (Junhui himself still too absorbed in his game to notice anything), then back to Minghao again. Wonwoo had quietly walked off before Minghao could ask what the problem was. Strike two.

There was also when Wonwoo and Jisoo had asked to tag along to one of Minghao and Junhui’s restaurant outings. Junhui was too excited at the idea of sharing food recommendations with members that he missed the wary glances Wonwoo kept shooting Minghao. Minghao, however, noticed all of them, especially how the glares coming from his right especially darkened after Minghao habitually reached across the table to wipe a napkin at Junhui’s mouth. Junhui, on the other hand, was too preoccupied with the food culture lesson he was animatedly giving Jisoo. Strike three.

Normally, after this would be game over but Wonwoo appeared a fourth time when Junhui was showing Minghao his peculiar dub of a SpongeBob clip during one of their duet dance practice breaks. He peeked his head in, asking if either of them had seen Soonyoung, and his eyes zeroed in on Minghao, whose head leaning was on Junhui’s chest while they lay on the floor, propped up against some cushions. Minghao looked away from Junhui's phone in time to see Wonwoo’s odd stare. Junhui answered that Soonyoung was in the other practice room before he resumed the video. Wonwoo once again left before Minghao could ask him anything.

The fifth time, however, is when Minghao refuses to let Wonwoo off without confrontation. He has no idea what he could have been doing now. Minghao, Wonwoo, Jeonghan, Hansol, Junhui, and Jisoo were gathered on the eighth floor to watch a movie.

Sure, Minghao may have let Junhui lean on him, but no one else was reacting beyond Wonwoo sending another questioning glance in his direction. Wonwoo didn’t do anything when Jeonghan blatantly put his arm around Jisoo. Why is Minghao being singled out like this? Unfair.

Minghao had spotted Wonwoo get up, presumably to go to either the kitchen or the washroom, but Minghao took the chance, nudging Junhui to get off him for a bit before going after the rapper.

“I’m going to need you to tell me what those looks mean,” Minghao says as he catches up to Wonwoo, spinning him around by the forearm before he can get away.

“What looks?”

“You keep giving me weird looks at odd times and I don’t know what they mean. Is there something you need to say to me?”

Wonwoo laughs, but it’s filled with unease. “This is just my face when I react to weird stuff, and our members do weird stuff all the time. Aren’t you reading too much into it?” Minghao isn’t convinced.

“Is this about Junnie?”

“What?”

Minghao tosses some hair out of his eyes, “Whenever you’ve given me that weird look, I was with Junnie. Did he say anything to you?”

“Why would he say anything to me?” Wonwoo asks. It’s accompanied by a nervous, forced laugh. His expression is stressed and tense.

The heaviness in the air makes Minghao feel like he’s swallowed an odd swirling mass that settles into his stomach. “You’re his best friend, aren’t you?” he asks.

Wonwoo takes a deep inhale. “Yeah, of course,” he replies with a shaky exhale, bringing a hand to rub the side of his neck. It makes Minghao smile in how it reminds him of Junhui. “But so are you.”

Minghao nods with a smile and the rainstorm in his heart seems to have subsided a bit.

“There’s nothing wrong, it’s just… he told me, y’know?” Wonwoo says suddenly. “That one morning Soonyoung told me he saw Junnie come out of your room so I asked later and Junnie said he confessed to you. He was jumping up and down like a puppy, holding my hands.” Wonwoo does a very low-energy version for demonstration.

Minghao smiles fondly at how easily he can picture Junhui doing it.

“I figured since he had this good of a reaction, that meant you reciprocated,” Wonwoo says with a tender smile. “He said you didn’t really say that in so many words, but you also didn’t say no,” his voice drops and Minghao feels the storm in his chest kick up again.

That’s _technically_ true, Minghao concedes.

“It’s nothing against you, it’s just—” Wonwoo starts over. “It was so hard watching him before he confessed to you. He pretended he wasn’t, but he was constantly mopey and nervous.”

Minghao didn’t see a lot of Junhui before he confessed, so he’s going to have to take Wonwoo’s word that that’s how he acted then.

“He’s been back to normal now and it’s great. Whenever I see you guys, though, you’re so cuddly and comfortable that it feels like you’re already dating. But when I ask Junnie, he says you’re not,” Wonwoo looks contemplative, choosing his words carefully. “So I’ve just been keeping an eye on him.”

Is he worried Minghao’s giving him false hope by acting this way? Or that Junhui’s this happy over an indefinite answer and it looks like Minghao’s been leading him on for about a month and a half? 

“This is how I’ve always acted with Junnie,” he says without much force.

Wonwoo nods. “Yeah, but now you know how he feels about you, it means something different now.”

Something in Minghao’s chest flares up. “Do you think I’ll hurt Junnie?” he asks.

A guilty expression flickers on Wonwoo’s face. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

“It came out like that,” Minghao retorts too quickly.

“I know you wouldn’t hurt him on purpose, but,” Wonwoo stalls, fixing his glasses, “I guess I’m just worried.”

Minghao thinks carefully. “I don’t know what I’m doing, I’m still figuring things out myself. But you know I wouldn’t play with Junnie’s feelings, so you don’t have to do all this.”

A fond chuckle escapes Wonwoo’s lips. “Mingyu said you’d say something like that,” he says, looking away.

Before Minghao can ask what he means, Seungkwan excitedly comes through the entryway, back from an individual broadcast schedule and Wonwoo bounds off to go greet him.

Minghao looks away from his book to see his phone screen light up, a message from Mingyu right under the time.

**Kim [dog emoji]:** Wonwoo told me to tell you to get your head of out your ass

**Kim [dog emoji]:** whatever that means

**Kim [dog emoji]:** for some reason he thinks you’ll listen to me lol

**Kim [dog emoji]:** what did you do to him?

**Me:** is he with you right now? you guys watching that drama?

**Kim [dog emoji]:** fuck you

Minghao laughs, sending a cute sticker back and then puts the phone down to continue reading.

* * *

early-March

Curiously, when their rest time comes three weeks later, right at the beginning of March, Minghao is the one worrying about the date he promised instead of Junhui, who still hasn’t brought it up at all.

Minghao keeps worrying about different date ideas, if they’re too much or too little. Trip to the convenience store? Too basic. Chinese restaurant? Not special enough. Carnival? Are there any in Seoul right now? Coffee shop? Still too basic. Stay in and watch dramas? They do that anyways.

He really wants to pick something good; he can’t pinpoint why but he wants this date he promised Junhui to go really well. He worries about it more than he expected.

_“Xiao Hao,_ come to Han River with me!” Junhui exclaims as he bursts into Minghao’s room one day, a bit before noon. Minghao quickly locks his phone, full of _Seoul date idea_ tabs; he has no arguments.

The weather has settled very neatly into spring; the snow’s gone, the air is lovely, and the cherry blossom trees make it look very picturesque out there. Minghao brings his camera.

Junhui leads the way with a curious backpack. They settle into a park where some families and couples run by with kites. He lays out a blanket that Minghao has probably only seen in the dorm once and takes off his backpack. Minghao takes the cue to sit as Junhui presents bento boxes in front of him and sits across from him.

“Did you make these?” Minghao asks. When he opens his box, it’s filled with rice, _gua bao buns_ , and vegetables.

Junhui nods, “I asked Mingyu to help since I know you don’t eat my cooking that much.”

Sometimes the food Junhui prepares on his own in the dorm is too much for Minghao, even if it _is_ Chinese food.

“Is that why I haven’t seen much of him lately?” Minghao wonders aloud.

“Yeah, I’ve been asking him to teach me,” Junhui says before shoving some rice in his mouth.

In the corner of his eyes, Minghao can see some cherry blossom petals swirling in the wind and he feels like they may as well have been swirling around in his chest.

Minghao feels his ears heating up and he looks down and starts shoving food in his mouth to avoid having to speak. He knows Junhui is the type to put extra thought and meaning into things while trying to act nonchalant about it when confronted. He imagines Junhui pleading with Mingyu to teach him how to cook things for Minghao. He probably also asked Mingyu to keep it a secret for the same reason.

Minghao doesn’t notice Junhui reaching over to feel his ears until his hands are actually on one of them. “You’re so cute,” Junhui says in a tender voice that sounds like it's more out of habit than teasing.

Regular Minghao would pout and make a fuss about how he wasn’t cute, it was _right there on his tongue_ but this Minghao’s mind is a scrambled mess and doesn’t know how his jaw is supposed to work. “Th-thanks,” is what comes out in a choked sort of whisper.

“You don’t have a thing for Mingyu, do you?” Junhui asks with a cheeky grin, pulling his hand away.

_Now_ Minghao pouts and throws a fake swing of a chopstick-filled fist in Junhui’s direction, “That’s so wrong, why would you ruin a moment like that?” he shouts in Mandarin reflexively.

Junhui bolts up in an attempt to get away, laughing and clapping, “You turned red when I said Mingyu’s been teaching me!” he answers in Korean.

“It wasn’t because it was Mingyu!” it came out before Minghao could stop it. There’s a pause before Minghao adds quietly, “You put so much effort into this. Thank you.”

Junhui sits back down, laughter still threatening the corners of his lips. “So you said we were having a moment?” he asks curiously.

Minghao huffs. “We _were_ , before someone ruined it,” he sits up and tries one of the _gua bao buns_.

“You should tell me when we’re having moments so I know not to ruin them,” Junhui says behind another grin, shoving more rice in his mouth.

“This is a moment, right now,” Minghao says, making an exaggerated gesture to the park around them. Soon after, he finishes off his food and drinks some of the tea in Junhui’s thermos.

Junhui looks around a bit in disbelief and is otherwise surprisingly quiet as he finishes off his own food. He occasionally bobs himself from side to side like an impatient child that knows he has to finish his food before he can play. Minghao takes his camera out, taking various shots of the park, the kites, and can’t resist taking some of Junhui while he’s still eating. The air isn’t as awkward as he thought it would be.

Minghao sees Junhui empty out his bento box with his attention somewhere in the distance.

“I’ll be back,” he says in a hurried breath, putting his box down and getting up from the blanket.

Minghao follows him with his eyes and watches Junhui approach a group of young boys, seeing a lot of pointing and hand gestures going on. One of the boys points at a shack nearby and Junhui jogs over to it. After some exchanges, Junhui is handed a fish-shaped kite with a long reel. _Oh_.

He turns back to where Minghao is sitting and waves, pointing at the kite reel. Minghao shoves his camera in his bag, gets up and goes over to him.

“We can use it for about half an hour,” Junhui says, grinning.

Minghao giggles, checking his watch before inspecting the fish kite with his hands. “Sure, sounds great.” He grabs the reel from Junhui. “Me first.”

Junhui sighs, taking the kite and running a good distance away from Minghao. Minghao watches the string spool off and Junhui lets go, letting their orange fish friend float away in the sky. Minghao works on controlling the string, content with standing in place until he sees Junhui jogging back to him. So he starts running away, laughing.

Unsurprisingly, Junhui chases after him but Minghao is just a _little bit_ faster. Eventually, Minghao stops and lets Junhui catch up to him, checking his watch.

“And that’s fifteen minutes,” he says, handing Junhui the reel. “Your turn.”

“Are you kidding me?” Junhui asks, exasperated.

“Nope, now it’s your turn,” Minghao replies with a grin.

Junhui takes the reel, checking back on the fish and moves a bit to keep it alight, eventually standing in place for a while. Minghao stands back and watches the fish kite move in the wind before looking back at Junhui, tired but grinning. He watches Junhui’s grin grow as he regains his breath.

“I’m gonna go back to the blanket,” Minghao says, putting a hand on Junhui’s shoulder to alert him. Junhui turns his head and nods quickly, still keeping his eye on the kite.

At the blanket, Minghao fishes his camera out, focused on getting good wide shots of Junhui with the kite. After a while, Junhui starts running and weaves around some children in the way. A sense of ease fills Minghao as he watches Junhui playing around in the camera lens. He snaps as much as he can, especially when he sees some children approach Junhui and he gives them the reel for a few minutes.

Junhui eventually reels the kite back in, jogging back over to the shack he got it from and jogs back to Minghao. In the meanwhile, Minghao has put all the bento boxes and camera stuff back in the bags.

Minghao waits for Junhui to sit down in front of him before he leans forward and puts his hand behind the older boy’s neck.

“By the way, this is a moment too,” Minghao says softly before he pulls Junhui closer to connect their lips together.

There’s a pause where Junhui freezes before he relaxes into the kiss, cupping the side of Minghao’s face. It’s soft and a little bit clumsy but that doesn’t matter when Junhui starts playing with his bottom lip. It’s very Junhui, sweet and playful. The cherry blossom hurricane inside Minghao swirls around his head and the sounds of the park melt away. Minghao can only hear his heart thumping in his ears and he doesn’t know how long it’s been but he feels like he’s about to drown in a pool of pink flower petals and he’s not complaining.

“Go out with me?” Minghao asks as he pulls back. He’s not exactly sure where that came from but it feels right.

Junhui turns his head as he laughs. The sounds of people shouting while running by with kites start filling Minghao’s ears again. “It’d be really weird if I said no right now, wouldn’t it?” Junhui asks, mostly shy.

Minghao shrugs a little. “Well?” he asks, backing away and giving a shy squished smile.

Junhui nods quickly a couple times. “Yeah, let’s— yes, I want to go out with you.”

Minghao giggles as he playfully hits Junhui on the arm. “Can we plan our next date together, at least?”

Junhui rakes his hand through his hair. “Oh, this was _the_ _first date_ , was it?” He doesn’t even bother hiding the goofy grin.

“ _Of course_ , look at this.” Minghao gathers some stray cherry blossom petals in his palm and blows them in Junhui’s direction. “Completely a date.”

Stealing a quick kiss, Junhui says, “Okay, but I get to tell the others.”

“Deal.” Minghao smiles.

On the way back to the dorm, they hold hands and Minghao has to restrain Junhui from swinging their arms back and forth too wildly. He takes a lot of artsy pictures along the way, trying to capture as much of Junhui with cherry blossom trees as possible.

\------

“Thank you all for coming today,” Junhui starts, tone very somber and serious. “I am here to inform you that I, the beautiful, charming, handsome Moon Junhwi, _Wen Junhui_ , am no longer single. I know you’re all heartbroken, but I am also pleased to announce that I am now dating the very capable Seo Myungho. _Xu Minghao_.”

At the mention of his names, Minghao’s eyes widen in confusion and he turns to look at Junhui standing beside him. Junhui just grabs Minghao’s hand and performs a 90-degree bow. Minghao’s mouth hangs open as he looks back at the rest of the members gathered on the couches. He waits a beat before bowing with Junhui quickly.

Junhui stands back upright. “I will now take questions from the press.” His voice is still serious and Minghao is trying hard to keep his laughter in.

Jisoo only looks mildly stunned when he raises his hand a bit, _“_ _That’s_ why you called us out here?”

“You said it was serious!” Seungcheol pipes up from his spot.

Jisoo is still looking around confused. “Yeah, and I thought you guys were already dating?” 

Minghao’s eyes dart to Wonwoo when he hears an abrupt laugh. Sure enough, Wonwoo was turned away, hand covering his mouth but his eyes are crinkled a _bit_ too much.

“This _is_ serious and we were not official until this afternoon, hence this official meeting,” Junhui responds. “C’mon guys, keep up, keep up.” He lets go of Minghao’s hand to clap for emphasis.

Hansol raises his hand this time. “If you guys weren’t dating before, what _were_ you doing?” he asks while Seungkwan’s head nods enthusiastically from Hansol’s shoulder.

Minghao moves to stand in front of Junhui before remembering there isn’t actually a mic there. “Valid question, we were figuring stuff out.” It’s vague but still enough. Junhui nods.

“I appreciate you telling us, Junnie, and I’m happy for both of you. But can we go now?” Seungcheol asks, only holding up his hand slightly.

“Not until I’ve fielded all the questions,” Junhui says firmly.

“What if there aren’t any other questions?”

“That’s a question, isn’t it?”

Seungcheol sighs and waves his hand to continue because there’s no beating Junhui at whatever his logic is.

“Thank you, anyone else?” Junhui claps his palms together, eyes scanning the room.

To Minghao’s surprise, Jeonghan raises his hand next. “Does this mean _more_ PDA or _less_ PDA than you usually do?” Jeonghan looks around and Minghao thinks he hears Wonwoo snickering again. “I don’t want you tainting my baby,” Jeonghan continues in a pampering voice as he reaches over to where he’s located Chan and pats his arm. Chan, for his part, makes a sour face and attempts to move away from Jeonghan’s touch.

Minghao is about to object (because what did Jeonghan consider their _“usual” PDA?_ ) but Junhui answers first. “Good question, we haven’t decided but we will take your concern into consideration.”

“Less,” Minghao says firmly after. Junhui turns to him with a questioning expression. “The children, Jun-ah. Think of the children,” he adds.

“Then less,” Junhui agrees with a grin and a dramatic hand gesture.

Jeonghan mouths a _thank you_ with a tender smile while Junhui looks around for more questions.

The rest of the questions are the members joking around or asking exaggerated scenarios, mostly to Seungcheol’s chagrin, but Junhui still answers with utmost seriousness and Minghao will give him credit for sticking to his routine. Someone, namely Soonyoung, _does_ ask who asked whom out, and when Minghao admits he did, there’s a small round of ‘whoa’ and scattered clapping.

At one point, Mingyu asks about putting a sock on the doorknob, to which Jeonghan makes a loud scandalized gasp, shoving him over and rushing to cover Chan’s ears. Minghao’s going to have to get him back for that one.

Junhui opens his arms in a grand gesture. “Now, if that’ll be all, conference dismissed.” He bows again.

Seungcheol gets up with an exasperated sigh, mumbling about how he has to fill out some forms. The rest disperse quickly and Soonyoung even comes up to shake their hands in congratulations as if it’s a real ceremony, but not before warning them not to let it interfere with practice or performance, which they both completely agree to.

Seungkwan and Seokmin also come up to shake their hands and act out teary congratulations, which Junhui returns with equally inflated acting. Jisoo comes up and puts his hand on each of their shoulders, no words, just patting their shoulders comfortingly. 

When they’re left alone, Junhui takes Minghao’s hand and Minghao sends him a judgmental look. 

“What? You said I could tell them!” Junhui laughs, swinging their arms lightly.

“That is not _at all_ what I had in mind when you said that,” Minghao lets a sigh before settling into a giggle and he hugs Junhui with his free hand. He figures that it’s fine like this; Seungcheol can’t complain that he doesn’t know what’s going on and all the members heard it straight from them. “By the way, what’s the PDA that Jeonghan was talking about?”

Junhui shrugs, “Beats me. Wanna watch a movie?”

Minghao nods and Junhui bounces off to go set up the TV. Mingyu happens to wander in and Minghao knows what’s coming. Mingyu signals Minghao to meet him in the kitchen because _of course he does_. He sighs and obliges anyways, telling Junhui he’s going to the kitchen to get popcorn.

“So you’re official now,” Mingyu says, leaning an arm on the counter.

Minghao starts looking around for the popcorn and a bowl. “Yes, and thank you for helping Junnie make those bento boxes,” he tries to keep his voice as neutral as possible.

“Bento boxes?” Mingyu’s head starts moving and turns into stutters like a confused pigeon. “What bento boxes?”

“Junnie said you helped him make some meals he packed in bento boxes today?” Minghao says in a higher tone than usual. He’s found the popcorn and starts up the microwave. “Thank you,” he says sincerely, turning to look at Mingyu.

Mingyu still looks confused. “Today, you said?”

“Yes,” Minghao says in a cross between an exhale and a laugh. “Are you okay?”

Junhui’s voice calls from the living room that he got the movie ready and Minghao calls back an affirmative, taking the popcorn out and pouring it in the bowl.

“We’ll continue this later,” Minghao says as he leaves, picking up the bowl and some drinks from the fridge on his way out.

Junhui’s sitting on the couch, still fiddling a bit with the remotes, but leans back when he sees Minghao come in. Minghao settles beside him, leaning his head on Junhui’s shoulder.

He doesn’t feel like bringing up Mingyu seemingly not remembering helping Junhui. He feels like letting Junhui keep that secret.

“ _Xiao Hao_ , are you even watching?” Junhui asks after a few minutes.

Minghao stays quiet for a few seconds. “Of course, I was just thinking,” he responds vaguely.

“About?”

“Junnie, we’re dating.” It comes out almost like a disbelieving stutter of a sentence. Maybe it’s finally hitting him.

The look on Junhui’s face is unfazed and innocently curious. “Yes?” There’s a hidden _‘and?’_ there that Minghao knows Junhui’s too nice to say.“That’s okay with you, right? ‘Cause I can call another meeting—” He moves to stand up and Minghao has to tug his arm back down.

“Yes. Yeah, it’s fine. I’m the one that asked _you,_ remember? I think it’s just hitting me is all.” Minghao fidgets a bit with his hands in his lap. Junhui is still looking at him with inquisitive eyes. “How are you so calm about this?”

There’s another head tilt. “Because it’s you,” Junhui replies. Minghao tightens his lips and stares at him wide-eyed. “What?” He’s laughing and Minghao just keeps nodding his head as if it’ll make the embarrassment go away.

“Nothing, nothing, you just… ” _make it seem so easy._ But Minghao also decided he’s doing this because it’s Junhui, so it should be fine.

Junhui’s large eyes are still blinking curiously at him before Minghao feels a quick kiss on his forehead. “That’s okay, right?”

Minghao nods quickly. “Yeah.”

“And you’ll tell me when it’s not, right?”

“Of course.” Minghao’s always been quick in reprimanding Junhui. That’s no big deal, right?

The grin that breaks on Junhui’s face is surprisingly endearing. “Then it’ll be okay. Now, let’s watch this movie because I think the fight scene is coming up.” He makes a few grunts to himself and does miniature Wushu moves before turning back to the screen. It’s cute.

Minghao still brings his lips tightly together in his mouth and keeps nodding to himself.

* * *

mid-May

Another month and a half go by, and although the members are fully aware of Minghao’s relationship with Junhui, they treat them more or less the same. There’s just a lot more questions about if they’re free on a certain day or _“do you guys have a date then?”_ which Minghao appreciates, but at the same time he can’t help but feel like they’re being _too_ conscious of it. 

But for the record, Minghao and Junhui have only gone on about three actual dates since then, two of which Minghao planned because he felt bad about Junhui basically taking control of their first one when Minghao was the one who asked _him_ out. He felt determined to make up for it. One was to an art exhibition he’d been wanting to check out, the other was to a cat café he thought Junhui would like. 

They have gone on hangouts with other members and tried very hard to make sure it didn’t feel like “Junhui and Minghao’s date while X member third-wheels”. The members, especially Mingyu, appreciate this.

Jeonghan occasionally eyes them as he passes by, probably as a way to make sure they’re carrying out the PDA promise they made to him during the relationship reveal meeting.

Seungcheol and Seungkwan had separately taken them both aside at different points to warn them about not letting it show during broadcasts, especially v-lives. Junhui had assured them that they acted very close anyways.

“Okay, but if you do, at least act kind of close and touchy to other members too during broadcasts so it doesn’t seem fishy,” Seungcheol had warned. “Don’t just focus on each other.”

Junhui agreed and asked Minghao whom among the members he would be comfortable like that with, just in case.

“You want me to give you _names_?” Minghao asks, leaning forward from his spot on the sofa.

Junhui nods, “Yes, it’ll be like”—he purses his lips— “our list of ‘we know we’re just doing it to not draw attention to ourselves so don’t get jealous’ kind of thing.” He twirls his pen around beside his notepaper.

_Oh._ Minghao hadn’t thought about that. “Uh, okay. Seokmin, Soonyoung, and Mingyu, I guess,” he prattles without too much thought.

“Ah, so that’s who you’ll be close with on broadcasts, okay,” Junhui murmurs in concentration, writing the names down. Minghao peers over and notices he wrote their Chinese names.

“How ‘bout you?” Minghao asks, trying to sound relaxed.

“Hmm,” Junhui starts in his exaggerated actor voice, “Shua, Wonwoo, Hansol,” he says after a couple beats too many for Minghao’s liking.

His eyes dart a couple times between Junhui, the paper, and the pen in his hand and when Junhui doesn’t start writing, he grabs the pen and writes the names himself. Junhui starts laughing and clapping again. Minghao can feel what’s coming next. His ears instinctively heat up.

“Don’t be jealous, _HaoHao,”_ Junhui coos, reaching over to grab his hand holding the pen, still laughing.

Minghao closes his eyes in the way he does when dealing with hyperactive Junhui and trying to gather his patience, his lips pulling into a tight line and ignoring the nickname for now. Sure, they were dating now but Minghao still had iffy feelings about _that_ particular nickname.

_Deep breaths, Minghao_. Soon after, he feels Junhui’s hand petting his hair. Was he being too silly?

“I don’t know why I’m like this,” Minghao says through a pout, re-capping the pen and sliding the notepad back to Junhui.

Junhui lets out another exaggerated sigh. “It’s okay, _Xiao Hao_ ,” he puts a hand dramatically on Minghao’s shoulder. “It’s nice to know you care like that, but don’t get too carried away with it.”

Minghao lowers his head slightly, tilting his eyes to look upward at Junhui. “You know I don’t know what I’m doing, right?” he says in a small voice.

“That’s why you have me!” Junhui says with a bright grin. “Just come to me if you have any concerns.” He gathers the pen and notepaper. A light kiss is placed on Minghao's forehead as Junhui stands up. It’s something Minghao’s gotten used to by now, but it doesn’t stop the thumping in his chest.

He’s about to walk away when Minghao calls out, “Jun-ah?” Junhui turns back to face him. “Do _you_ ever get jealous?” It’s more curious than accusatory, and a little childish, but part of Minghao really wants to know.

“Of course,” Junhui replies easily. “I’m just better at handling it than you,” he says with a playful, teasing lilt. Junhui leaves to bring the notepad to, presumably, Seungcheol despite it being in Chinese. Minghao lays back on the sofa, arms spread and closing his eyes.

He feels the sofa shift after a few minutes and a head quickly lands in his lap. Minghao doesn’t open his eyes but reaches down to play with Junhui’s hair. “What did Seungcheol say?”

“He asked why I wrote in Chinese and I had to tell him I forgot we were giving it to him. I thought we were keeping it for ourselves and didn’t want the other members to find it and wonder why we had their names,” Junhui covers his face with his sleeve-covered hands.

Minghao hums distractedly. “Wouldn’t he also have to tell the people whose names we wrote down that we’d be doing that with them on broadcasts?”

There’s a long pause before Minghao hears Junhui’s muffled laughter, “I forgot about that too.”

Minghao giggles but says nothing, continuing to play with Junhui’s hair absent-mindedly. He takes out his phone with his spare hand and scrolls through different SNS feeds. Junhui eventually also takes out his phone.

“So,” Minghao starts cautiously, keeping his eyes on his phone screen, “when did you get jealous?” He hopes his tone is nonchalant, contrary to the rapid beating he feels in his heart.

“Wha?” Junhui sits up to scan Minghao’s face. Minghao complies and maintains (uneasy) eye contact with Junhui until the older is satisfied and lays his head back down in his boyfriend’s lap. “I didn’t think you’d still be thinking about it.” He sounds amused and it makes Minghao feel small. Should this not be a big deal like Junhui’s suggesting? 

“It’s just… this is the first I’m hearing of it, so I’m just curious,” He combs his hand through Junhui’s hair again, trying to distract them both. He knows he isn’t convincing. It shouldn’t be a big deal, so why does it feel like Minghao’s not going to stop thinking about it until he knows?

There's silence and Minghao anxiously looks down to see if Junhui’s still paying attention but it looks like he’s just thinking. “Mm, it doesn’t happen much anymore,” he muses, “but I used to get a bit jealous when I would talk to Mingyu and it sounded like you told him more things than you did me.”

Minghao’s hand in Junhui’s hair freezes. He vaguely remembers Mingyu saying something like that; that Junhui might feel like Minghao doesn’t trust him enough. He’s a little miffed that Mingyu’s right about so many things.

“But then I figured you probably have stuff you can only tell Mingyu and there’s probably stuff you only tell me. It wouldn’t do any good to get worked up about it and force you to tell me everything.” Junhui tosses in Minghao’s lap so he’s facing his knees. “He’s one of your best friends so it doesn’t bother me anymore.”

When Minghao doesn’t respond, Junhui speaks up again, “Do you mind if I ask you something now?” Minghao hums at him to go ahead. “I… ” Junhui sighs and Minghao can see his arm dangling in the air in front of them, reaching for the coffee table.

Junhui’s quiet for too long before he says, “Why are you—” he stops himself. “Were you ever jealous?” he rushes out the question and Minghao isn’t convinced that this is what Junhui really wanted to ask.

“I know it’s your nature but _sometimes_ when you flirt too much with people.” Minghao’s hand starts moving through Junhui’s hair again. A part of him didn’t think he’d be admitting that, especially that quickly. “Do you really need to be getting their attention that much?” he adds softly. He tries his best to make it sound like he’s not entirely serious, like it’s a joke so Junhui doesn’t think Minghao is _that_ insecure.

Junhui tosses in Minghao’s lap again and stares right up at him, “Yeah, but I’m only going out with _you_ , so it’s okay, right?” he sounds like a child worried about being scolded. Minghao thinks about the times he’s felt sour over how flirty and cuddly Junhui’s been with Yanan, Soonyoung, or Wonwoo, and how much of a bitter taste it would leave in Minghao’s throat if Junhui somehow acted that way again.

Minghao knows that he can’t stop Junhui’s flirty or prankster nature since that’s the main way he knows how to show affection. “Yeah, I _guess_ that’s okay then,” he replies in a playful tone.

Junhui smiles and leans up slightly, reaching to pull the back of Minghao’s head down to meet him halfway, “Good, because I’m only doing this with you too,” he says in a low voice before bringing him in for a kiss. It’s soft and sweet and Minghao can feel flowers blooming in his heart.

“Oh my god!” a loud voice causes them to split apart. “You guys are so cute but you _promised Jeonghan!”_ Minghao looks up to see Seungkwan with a glass of water and a bag of snacks tucked under his arm, likely on his way back from the kitchen. Maybe they shouldn’t have done this in the main room.

“Are you one of the children?” Minghao asks as he feels a giggle bubbling through his chest.

“I _could be,”_ Seungkwan huffs with an indignant pout. He stomps back to his room and Minghao didn’t need editing to hear the squeaking toy sounds come out of Seungkwan’s every step.

Minghao’s giggle comes out and Junhui calls after Seungkwan. “Love you too! Don’t tell Jeonghannie, please!”

Seungkwan waves his free arm in acknowledgement but doesn’t look back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> plot starts next time lmao  
> hope y'all like Jeonghan and Joshua bc they're about to become important
> 
> see ya next week~ ^-^ and if you can't wait till then, I wrote a meanie/minwon oneshot in the meanwhile that has some side junhao~ I also made a side twt with the same @ where it's just me screaming about fic stuff only. I don't have a cc yet tho


	3. June and July

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Minghao adjusts to officially dating Junhui and starts figuring out exactly what that means. But he may have overlooked some things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't going to upload this for a while since I was still unsure of some parts but Junhui posted a cover ^^   
> I know most people are just interested in "the chase, will they/won't they" aspects of stories, but I really wanted to play with what comes after that. I also renamed entire fic and changed the summary after realizing they made no sense

June

And so, they proceed with the list Seungcheol planned. Seungcheol had separate meetings with the members written on Junhui and Minghao’s lists and told them about the broadcast situation. Minghao isn’t really sure if it could actually be considered a situation, but that’s what he’s calling it.

The members themselves had no problem with it, it was just a good heads up communication thing.

“So basically, what you always do anyways,” Jisoo had said dryly to Junhui who grinned and replied with, “Yes, but now with my boyfriend’s and your consent.” When Jisoo sighed, with a smile, Minghao had waved sheepishly at him. 

When Seungcheol told Seokmin about the situation, he grinned and hugged Minghao, saying he was honored and would do the best job he could to help hide Minghao’s relationship for him during broadcasts.

Mingyu, on the other hand, was confused at why he was picked. Minghao had just replied with, “If I don’t fight with you, then  _ something _ is wrong and people will notice.” Soonyoung had just given Minghao a thumbs-up while Minghao didn’t get to see what happened with Wonwoo and Hansol.

For two weeks, Minghao does start to notice that, during broadcasts, how much Junhui clings onto Jisoo or Hansol like a koala.  _ Junhui clings to everyone, _ he reminds himself. Minghao sometimes feels a swirling feeling in his chest, which he attributes to just being disappointed.

Sometimes Minghao forgets his part of the arrangement and just isn’t cuddly or touchy with anyone during a particular filming. Sometimes his brain goes into autopilot and instinctively sticks to Junhui. Jisoo will catch him and send enough eye signals that he remembers and moves away to lean on Seokmin. Minghao loves Seokmin but regrets picking him when he remembers how much energy he always has and how that boy cannot sit still for long. Especially when reacting to either Seungkwan or Soonyoung.

Minghao finds it particularly hard, during a group v-live for Junhui’s birthday, to keep following Seungcheol’s broadcast situation notes. He chooses to stay out of frame as much as possible, which isn’t that hard since Soonyoung’s manoeuvering the broadcast phone on a selfie stick and his focus is just on keeping Junhui in frame. He briefly wonders if the fans would get dizzy with Soonyoung’s cameraman skills.

He watches the other members sing while Mingyu shoves a cake in his hand. He does reach over to dip his finger in the cake to smear some icing on his boyfriend’s nose to keep up appearances, but otherwise stands still, observes, claps when prompted, and gives his small interview of encouraging words for Junhui to the extra footage staff before they all head back to the dorms.

**Junjunjun** : I’m doing an individual v-live for my bday

**Junjunjun:** we’ll go to dinner after I promise

**Me** : ok lmk when you’re done

Junhui sends back a cute affirmative character sticker and Minghao puts his phone down.

He knows this is how it has to be, but he doesn’t understand why he’s so bothered. He can’t even figure out why he’s feeling what he’s feeling and that frustrates him even further.

He decides to use the time to read in the main room. He has that weird urge to be around people but not really, so he’s hoping if he reads in the main room, the other members will be there watching programs or playing games.

“Are you going to sit there the whole time?” Seungkwan asks as he approaches, picking up one of the remotes.

Minghao looks up from his book. “Yes. Is that okay?”

Seungkwan shrugs. “Sure, but we’re probably going to be pretty noisy.”

“That’s okay,” Minghao replies, turning back to find his place on the page.

Soon enough, Seungkwan is joined on the couch with Soonyoung, Hansol, and Chan. Seungkwan passes a bowl of snacks around. “Seokmin says he’s coming in a bit.”

“Is he watching with us?” Hansol asks, gesturing over to Minghao.

“He said he wants to read here,” Seungkwan supplies casually with a pout and a shrug.

“I like being around you guys,” Minghao says in a cheery voice, not looking up.

They flip channels for a while and Seokmin comes in. “Is anything you’ve filmed airing today?”

“Don’t think so, but we can find programs that I  _ want _ to be on,” Seungkwan says proudly.

After almost an hour (forty-seven minutes, and no, Minghao has  _ not _ been keeping track by checking his phone every so often), a lot of uproars of laughter at various points, comments of “you would be so good on that show” from Hansol and “right? Soogeun is amazing though” replies from Seungkwan, Junhui finally emerges from his room.

Minghao eagerly looks up, expecting a signal that they’re going now but Junhui beelines to the dorm entryway without looking back, slipping his shoes on. 

Minghao quickly goes over. “Junhwi, are we..?” he starts, a bit too anxiously.

Junhui turns around to scan Minghao’s face, thinking for a bit too long before he says, “Oh, dinner, right.” It sounds a bit flat when he says that, which somehow bugs Minghao. “Yeah, just give me a couple minutes, I have to talk to Shua about something.” He runs out before Minghao can respond.

He trudges back to his spot on the sofa in, what  _ feels like, _ a walk of shame, ignoring the inquisitive glances from the others.

Seungkwan eyes Minghao, stares at Hansol for a bit, and then goes over to boot up the game console under the TV. He hands out controllers to Seokmin, Soonyoung, and Chan, taking the last for himself, and sits on the floor. After a few minutes, the four of them get engrossed in the game and start yelling at each other.

Hansol takes the chance to sidle up next to Minghao, “We know it sucks, Myungho,” he says, still facing the TV screen.

Minghao looks around confused. “What does?”

“You wanted to spend Junnie’s birthday with him,” Hansol says softly while leaning his head on Minghao’s shoulder. “And it’s hard because he’s been super busy filming, like for the extra footage and the v-live and stuff. And now he’s gotta run off when you’re supposed to have dinner, from what it sounds like.”

Minghao sighs, not sure how to respond.

“It’s okay if you’re upset, we get it,” Hansol adds gently.

Chan suddenly screams at the screen, accusing Seokmin of setting him up to die, to which Seokmin screeches back that Soonyoung is to blame for all of their deaths. Minghao laughs a little.

“I don’t even know why I’m upset,” Minghao finally replies.

Hansol lifts his head to look at Minghao. “You want to spend your boyfriend’s birthday with him but you can’t. Do you need another reason?” Hansol asks like this is the simplest concept in the world.

Minghao chuckles uneasily. “I don’t know, I thought there would be more to it.”

“Like what?” Hansol laughs.

“I don’t know,  _ something _ ,” Minghao guesses.

Hansol gives him a weird look. “You’re kind of strange, Myungho,” he says as he stands up, taking the controller from Seungkwan when he comes to pass it off. He pats Seungkwan’s shoulder with a chuckle after the Jeju boy complains about being killed too many times, pointing specifically at Soonyoung.

Seungkwan takes Hansol’s spot next to Minghao on the sofa, arms wrapped around himself.

Minghao pushes his shoulder against Seungkwan’s. “Thanks for doing that.”

Seungkwan looks around. “Doing what? I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Minghao smiles. “Of course you don’t.” He feels Seungkwan’s shoulder push him back and he lets out a giggle while Seungkwan takes the chance to lean his head on Minghao’s shoulder.

After another half-hour of watching the other members try not to kill each other on screen, Minghao feels his phone vibrate.

**Junjunjun:** I’m good to go if u are

**Junjunjun:** I’m at the 6th floor dorm

Minghao stands up from the couch, patting Seungkwan twice on the knee as he does. He picks up his book and calls out, “Okay, I’m going now.”

The five of them chorus out a “Bye, Myungho!” mixed in with some calls of “be safe” and “tell Junnie I said happy birthday”.

When he gets down to the sixth floor dorm entryway, Junhui is there talking with Jisoo.

Minghao goes up to them and tugs at Junhui’s hand. “Junnie, are we going now?”

Junhui nods, gesturing to Jisoo. “Yeah. Actually, Shua’s going to be coming with us,” he says with an excited grin.

Jisoo’s eyes dart to Junhui oddly before he speaks up. “Yeah, there was this dish at a restaurant that Junnie wanted to show me so he said I should join you since you were going to be eating it anyways.”

“Oh, okay,” Minghao says in a deflated breath. He tries to stop the disappointment from showing through since it’s not Jisoo’s fault that Minghao feels so strange. “If you’re okay with that…” he trails off, hoping the implication of being a third-wheel is apparent.

“And I’m here too,” Jeonghan’s voice says from behind them, hands shoved in his pants pockets. “Happy birthday, Junnie.”

Oh. Minghao feels another weird swirl in his chest. So what he thought was going to be their dinner date for Junhui’s birthday is now an outing with two other people. He’s not even sure if it could be considered a double date since he’s not exactly sure if Jisoo and Jeonghan are together, and at this point, he’s too afraid to ask. He looks towards Junhui to see his reaction, but his boyfriend just claps eagerly and grins at Jisoo, who looks slightly drained already.

_ You want to spend your boyfriend’s birthday with him but you can’t. Do you need another reason?  _ Imaginary Hansol doesn’t need to hurt him like this, yet he does. Minghao tries to reason that he’s still  _ technically _ spending Junhui’s birthday with him, just with other people too.

Junhui leads them all to a hotpot restaurant and Minghao’s heart takes another hit when Junhui insists on sitting next to Jisoo, leaving Minghao and Jeonghan on the other side. At least he’s  _ across _ Junhui, Minghao tries to reason again with himself. Junhui makes a joke about the other side of the table being all fancy and dignified, to Jisoo’s mock offense and pointing out that Junhui chose to sit next to  _ him _ .

“So, Junnie,” Jeonghan starts, chin resting in his hand and looking too prim. “I noticed you’re not on your phone this time.”

Junhui nods quickly, drawing small shapes in the air with his chopsticks. “Ah, yeah, Myungho says it bothers him so I’ve been trying to stop.”

“Aww, cute.” The lilt in Jeonghan’s voice makes Minghao think he’s just as unhappy with this dinner arrangement as Minghao is, but is masking it with overly saccharine pleasantries. He wants this to make him feel better, but it doesn’t.

“So Shua, you were interested in having hot pot?” Minghao asks, watching them.

Jisoo’s eyes light up with awe. “Yeah, actually, I’ve been wanting to try all sorts of food just for the cultural experience, so Junnie’s been helping me with some Chinese dishes he loves. I’m really loving it so far.”

Jeonghan nods, shoving some rice in his mouth. Minghao sees Junhui look at him like he wants to say something but Jisoo elbows him with a side-glance, causing him to recoil. Jisoo tries to disguise it as him moving his arm to grab one of the side dishes a distance away on the table but Minghao knows what he saw.

“What other foods are you planning on showing Joshuji?” Jeonghan asks, not looking up while he fidgets with some side dishes. 

Junhui leads them through a tangent of foods from his hometown he wants to share. Jeonghan and Minghao watch Junhui describe them with fond detail and Minghao briefly notices Jisoo watching  _ him _ for a bit before looking back at Junhui.

Junhui is otherwise quiet the rest of the evening, looking slightly distraught and uneasy. During Jeonghan’s spiel about foods he’d like to try, Minghao notices that Junhui occasionally catches Jisoo’s eye who seems to notice and glare in some sort of silent scolding. Minghao doesn’t have much of an appetite after watching them and slows down. He doesn’t realize that Jeonghan has noticed him while they’ve moved onto Jisoo’s tangent on cultural foods he’s had in America.

“Sunflower, what’s wrong?”

“Oh, I’m not that hungry,” Minghao says.

“Are you sick?” Jeonghan’s voice is full of concern and Minghao feels guilty.

“No, no, it’s just more filling than I thought,” he lies.

Jeonghan strokes the back of Minghao’s head. “Okay.”

Jisoo sends Minghao a shamed look. “Sorry we kind of barged in on your dinner date like this,” he says before bringing a soup spoon to his lips.

Minghao shakes his head. “Ah, well it was Junnie’s birthday and he wanted to eat with you so...” he trails off. Junhui has the decency to look a bit sheepish.

“Oh, right!” Jeonghan gasps like he’s just remembered something. “Not the birthday thing, I already knew that, Junnie, don’t worry. I mean, how are you two doing? Like the whole dating thing since your little relationship announcement meeting a while back?”

Jisoo’s eyes focus on Minghao for a bit before sending Jeonghan a dry warning look. Junhui conveniently shoves side dishes in his mouth so Jeonghan beams at Minghao, waiting for an answer.

“It’s fine,” Minghao says, nodding once quickly.

“Jeonghan, you’re embarrassing them!” Jisoo scolds.

Jeonghan ignores him. “Just  _ fine? _ Do you have anything you want to tell me?” he prods, momentarily eying Junhui like it’s  _ his _ fault Minghao is ashamed.

Minghao refuses to make eye contact with him. “No, it’s good. We’re doing well together. Thanks, Jeonghannie,” he replies pointedly, sipping some of his tea.

Jeonghan sighs. “My sunflower is so cold now.” He turns to Junhui. _ “You _ did this to him.”

Junhui’s lips curl upward around his mouthful of food and waves him off. “I didn’t do anything,” he says when his mouth is finally free.

They walk back to the dorm in pairs, except, to Minghao’s mild annoyance, it’s the same arrangement as the tables. Minghao watches Junhui talking with Jisoo up ahead of him and he can’t help but pout. He can’t help but feel a little deja vu with Junhui's behavior. It’s a bit like before he confessed but somehow different. 

Jeonghan links his arm around Minghao’s as they walk. “Tell me the truth, sunflower,” he starts. Minghao looks at him and nods. “You wanted that to be a date with just you and Junnie, didn’t you?”

“Yeah,” he admits, relieved he can finally say what he’s been holding in almost the whole evening. “Is that silly? Am I overreacting?”

“Not really,” Jeonghan sighs and shrugs nonchalantly. “He’s your boyfriend and you wanted to spend his birthday with him.”

Minghao chuckles, “You’re not the first one that’s said that to me today.”

“Are you going to tell Junnie?”

“He really wanted Shua to come along, so I have to respect that, don’t I?” Minghao asks, a little too timidly because he’s somehow afraid of the answer.

Jeonghan ponders that for a moment. “I guess. But if I know Shua at all, he’s doing it because he believes he’s helping Junnie with something for his own good. He wouldn’t have come and done all this otherwise.”

Minghao hums quietly.

“As for  _ why _ Junnie asked him to come, I can’t say,” Jeonghan says. Minghao turns to him, curious. “Shua wouldn’t tell me, the bastard.”

“For a second, it sounded like you knew and you didn’t want to tell  _ me _ ,” Minghao laughs.

“No, he wouldn’t tell me!” Jeonghan exclaims, “He just asked me if I was free tonight and then said we’re going to Junnie’s birthday dinner! Trust me, sunflower, I’m just as offended as you,” he huffs indignantly.

Minghao’s laughter keeps flowing out and he isn’t able to stay sour anymore. He keeps hold of Jeonghan’s arm as they walk.

They see Jisoo off at the sixth floor before going back to their dorm. Jeonghan leaves the pair with a “be good, kids!” before retreating to his own room. Before Minghao can talk to Junhui, he rushes off to his room to change. Minghao quickly showers and returns to his room where Junhui is already there, sitting on his beanbag chair, eyes on his phone.

“What was  _ that  _ about?” Minghao asks with a sigh, closing the door and crossing the room to lay on his bed, stomach down.

“What was what about?” Junhui looks a bit worried, like he got caught doing something wrong.

Minghao spins himself around on the bed so he’s facing Junhui. “Tsk, when you said we were going to dinner after your v-live stream, I thought you meant we were going to dinner together,” Minghao says, annoyed. Junhui’s head tilts a little and Minghao realizes what he said and clarifies. “Like a date. Like _ just us together, _ Jun-ah.”

“Oh,” Junhui says softly in realization, but he also seems a little relieved, judging by his smile. “Are you mad?”

Minghao swipes his bangs back quickly. “I mean, I’m  _ annoyed _ ,” he huffs. He’s only had two people today tell him that he was upset for wanting to spend his boyfriend’s birthday with him. But that was normal, they said, right? Minghao lowers his head down to the mattress in frustration.

“Aww,  _ HaoHao, _ ” Junhui’s voice coos and Minghao feels a hand pet the back of his head.

Minghao doesn’t say any more and soon feels Junhui’s hand leave. He takes that cue to look up and Junhui’s on his phone.  _ “Now _ what are you doing?”

“Texting Shua,” Junhui replies.

Minghao lowers his head back down on the mattress. “Oh my god.”

Junhui’s hand is back to petting Minghao’s head, “I’m sorry,  _ HaoHao _ , I didn’t know it would upset you. We’ll go on an actual date later on.”

Minghao just grunts in response. He didn’t think he’d be the type of person to get antsy and upset over not being able to spend time with someone on their birthday. He’d been unable to spend Junhui’s birthday with him in the past, hadn’t he? It didn’t bother him then, so why does it bother him this much now?

A week after Junhui’s birthday, and at least nine frustrating broadcast filmings later (including the ones for Soonyoung’s birthday), Minghao asks Seungcheol if he can redo his broadcast list.

Seungcheol wants to argue that it means more meetings and paperwork but he sees the distressed look on Minghao’s face and lets him switch, with Junhui’s consent. “I was surprised when you picked two-thirds of BooSeokSoon anyways,” the leader chuckles.

Ever since the incident with Junhui’s birthday, Minghao has been thinking about how else he’s changed without him noticing. There’s more of a pull towards Junhui that Minghao is sure wasn’t there before. Sure, he’s generally always had a soft spot for Junhui, but the  _ pull  _ and  _ want  _ to be near him wasn’t nearly as strong before. 

Him getting upset (as Hansol liked to put it) for not being able to be with Junhui on his birthday still felt odd. Jeonghan and Hansol said it was okay and it was normal, but part of Minghao feels like he shouldn’t be allowed to be upset over something like that.

The past few filmings have shown Minghao that the pull has more of a hold on Minghao’s emotions that he’d like to admit. He’s a little worried he’ll lose himself without realizing until it’s too late again and it gets caught on a broadcast. What if his habit to tend to Junhui gets noticed, accidentally exposes their relationship, and destroys all of their careers? He knows Jisoo won’t always be able to catch him and Minghao feels bad about relying on Jisoo (or anyone else) like that. But he’s also not sure how much he trusts himself not to think about it.

Minghao tells Seungcheol he wants to swap Seokmin for Jeonghan. He briefly considers swapping Mingyu out for Chan but stops when Seungcheol reminds him that  _ everyone _ babies Chan. He asks to remove Mingyu and just have Jeonghan and Soonyoung. He thinks it’s too complicated to have too many. Junhui is okay with this.

“Don’t think too much about it,  _ HaoHao _ ,” Junhui says casually. His expression is tinged with concern; he’s starting to sense how much it bugs Minghao.

Minghao had just finished speaking with Seungcheol and Junhui saw the distressed look on his face as he passed. He decided to follow him to his room.

“I don’t know why I’m acting like this,” Minghao says in a huff, hands moving to grasp the sides of his head. Junhui watches him. “Why am I like this? What’s wrong with me?” 

He’s done broadcasts and filmings before. But somehow it’s different now. 

Junhui gives a sympathetic tilt of the head and moves to sit beside him on his bed, “I didn’t think this would stress you out this much, I’m sorry,” he takes one of Minghao’s hands in his.

“Don’t be sorry, you didn’t do anything,” Minghao sighs.

“Hello, my children,” a cheery voice rings while opening the door. Jeonghan peeks in and grins at them. Junhui reflexively lets go of Minghao’s hand. “Junnie, it’s okay, it’s not PDA if you’re both in your own room,” he says with a small chuckle.

It’s technically Minghao’s own room but he’ll let it slide. Junhui chuckles nervously, wraps his arms around one of Minghao’s and puts his head on Minghao’s shoulder. Minghao doesn’t react except moving his free hand to pat Junhui’s head.

“Now you’re just overdoing it,” Jeonghan says snippily as he takes a seat in Minghao’s bean bag chair on the floor. “So Cheollie told me what’s going on, you gotta cling to people during broadcasts and filming to throw off the scent, nice, nice. And now my sunflower picked me, I’m so touched.”

Junhui looks to Minghao to respond. When Minghao still doesn’t say anything, he intertwines their fingers. 

Jeonghan notices. “Is everything okay?”

“He’s just having trouble with the broadcast thing,” Junhui says.

Jeonghan reaches over to put a hand on Minghao’s knee. “Don’t worry, things that happen in broadcasts don’t always mean anything. Junnie just cuddles everyone anyways, he’s not leaving you.” He briefly looks to Junhui for confirmation and Junhui nods. “Yeah, see, there you go.”

Minghao’s lips pull together in a tight line. Jealousy hasn’t been his concern for at least a month now. Their conversation then helped alleviate any of those concerns Minghao had towards Junhui. He doesn’t know how to word his worries about the pull properly, and he’s a bit embarrassed by them. Instead, he leans his head against Junhui’s with a small sigh through his nose.

Jeonghan eyes Minghao. “You know, sunflower, none of us _ mind _ helping you,” he says slowly, full of gentle concern. “I know it sucks that you have to hide your relationship, but no one on the team will blame you for anything. We all want to help you the best we can; we wouldn’t do it if we didn’t know the risk.”

Junhui makes a surprised noise and tilts his head to check at Minghao’s expression. He pats the back of Minghao’s hand from where they’re intertwined and Minghao’s face brightens.

“Really?” Minghao finally asks. He’s not sure how much Jeonghan was able to read but it’s  _ part of _ his concern. He’s not really sure how much he wants to elaborate right now.

“Cheollie’s way is no fun,” Jeonghan scrunches up his face a bit and waves one hand dismissively in the air. “You guys be as cuddly and whatever as you want, the rest of us will just be as equally cuddly and whatever with each other so it won’t seem like a big deal. No one can say something’s up with you two if we all literally do it, right? Is that what you’re worried about?”

Minghao smiles, bright and relieved. “Yeah, thanks, Jeonghannie,” he says, feeling a bit guilty for lying but he doesn’t want to get into the real reason. The solution that Jeonghan is positing works well enough anyways. Junhui pulls his head off Minghao’s shoulder to look at him before settling into a smile of his own.

“Of course, sunflower. I’ll go talk to Cheollie for you,” Jeonghan says, getting up. “Be good, kids!” he calls as he leaves the room, pulling the door closed.

Minghao feels a finger poke into his cheek and he looks towards Junhui, “You  _ were _ thinking too much!” Junhui says with a teasing laugh.

“I was,” Minghao admits, laying back on the bed and covering his face with one of the pillows.

Junhui lays down beside him, pries one of Minghao’s hands away from the pillow, and holds it again. Minghao removes the pillow from his face with his free hand. He knows Junhui won’t ask about why he was upset if Minghao doesn’t offer it first, and Minghao  _ does _ want to tell Junhui about it, he just doesn’t know how to start.

He lays there with Junhui in comfortable silence for a good ten minutes, staring at the ceiling together. Somehow, this feels right, like no matter what happens, he’ll be alright as long as he’s able to come back here, this security of being able to come back to this place, to Junhui.

He lets out a long exhale. “I feel better now, thanks for being here with me.”

Junhui turns his head towards him. “Of course! I told you, come to me if you have any concerns! Even if all we do is stare at your ceiling.” He grins and rolls over on his stomach to look down at Minghao. “But we actually have dance practice in a few so we better get changed and head down there before Soonyoung sends Chan after us.”

Minghao nods and they both get up. Junhui quickly kisses Minghao’s forehead before he runs off to his own room. Minghao rummages through his closet for what practice outfit he wants. Baggy oversized shirt French tucked into some track pants with a ball cap are what he settles for.

When Minghao is all changed, he goes to wait at the dorm floor’s entryway for Junhui. Suddenly he hears voices coming through the hallway.

“—Cheollie, I don’t care! Do you even  _ think _ about the children?”

Oh. Jeonghan’s room. Minghao tiptoes his way towards it and stands just outside the door out of morbid curiosity.

“Of course I do, Hannie, that’s why I asked them to do that in the first place!”

“Guys, I don’t think—”

“Really, Cheollie? Your dumb rules almost made my Myungho-sunflower  _ cry _ . That’s you thinking about the children?”

“What do you mean? I let him switch his choice to you earlier  _ because _ he was so upset!”

“I  _ just _ came back from talking to him and Junnie, he  _ almost cried _ , that’s what I mean!”

“Guys, let’s just calm down, breathe— ”

“No, screw that. Cheollie, we’re letting them do it  _ my _ way because I’m not having anymore upset children in this building because of you!”

While Minghao is thinking about whether or not he really almost cried or if Jeonghan is adding that detail for flair, Junhui hops over to Minghao, fresh in his own practice clothes of a loose white shirt tucked into black track pants. He looks at Minghao curiously, about to ask why they’re in this hallway instead of over by the dorm entryway. Minghao turns to him with a finger over his lips to be quiet. There’s silence for a bit and Junhui is looking around with a confused, expectant expression, wordlessly asking what he’s supposed to be quiet for. Minghao points to Jeonghan’s door.

“Fine, I’ll figure it out.”

“Thank you.”

There’s a pause and some shuffling. Soon enough, the door opens and Jisoo walks out. “Oh, hey guys,” he smiles reassuringly when he sees them, closing the door immediately behind him. “See you at practice, we’ll be down in a bit.” He moves past them to go back to his own room on his floor.

A couple seconds later, Seungcheol comes out of the room with a sigh, running an irritated hand through his hair. He glances towards Junhui and Minghao with a tired smile. “I’ll change and meet you both at practice.” He waves and leaves in a similar path that Jisoo took.

Jeonghan eventually comes out of the room in his own baggy clothing, sighing towards the floor. He brightens when he sees the couple, going over and patting them gently on the cheek. “Don’t worry about Cheollie, it’s all settled.” He beams at them and starts moving towards the dorm doorway.

Junhui looks towards Minghao, expecting to be filled in on what just happened. Minghao just smiles, grabs Junhui’s hands while linking their fingers together, and leads him out of the dorm to head to dance practice.

He’s not sure what, but there was something about eavesdropping on Jeonghan’s conversation (argument?) with Seungcheol that gives Minghao the courage to let himself tell Junhui what was bothering him on the walk to the practice building. 

He wants to tell Junhui everything. The things he wasn’t sure how to say in front of Jeonghan; the anxieties, guilt, worries, and fears he had about his place in their relationship, the pull he felt guilty for having, the way he got upset over things he didn’t think he had business getting upset over, who he caught himself turning into without him noticing and how much all of it scared him. 

When he finishes, Junhui says nothing, just tightens his hold on Minghao’s hand as they walk.

They stop at an intersection and Junhui moves Minghao’s hat to place a kiss on his forehead. “Thanks for telling me, _HaoHao,”_ he says quietly before tugging him across the crosswalk.

Minghao barely gets a chance to fix his hat before being pulled along. He has to tilt the brim down to hide the smile he can’t stop, cursing that the afternoon light would immediately expose his blush and his expression as he gets dragged into the practice building. 

The next week, Junhui presents Minghao with a book.

“I picked this up when I was out with Soonyoung earlier,” Junhui says with a casual shrug.

Minghao takes it and looks over the front and back covers. “Thanks,” he says, slightly confused. It’s pale green with red Chinese characters on the cover. It seems like an unusual find in a Seoul bookstore.

Junhui plants himself in Minghao’s bean bag chair and takes out his phone, quickly immersing himself and becoming lost to the world. Upon opening the front cover, Minghao finds a Chinese note written on cat-themed stationery.

“ _ Books help you balance yourself, right? This is one of the Chinese novels I’ve been reading online. I liked it a lot so I hope you like it too. Sorry it took awhile to get here but I know you prefer hard copies. Keep telling me whenever you feel out of balance, I’ll always listen to you and support you, HaoHao. I’ll help you get more books if you need them. _

_ –Junhui” _

Minghao gingerly runs his fingers along the note, unable to stop the small giggle that comes out. He finds the first chapter and decides to use the cat-themed stationery note as his bookmark. He doesn’t miss the smile that creeps on Junhui’s face. Something warm blossoms in his chest.

* * *

Three weeks have passed since Junhui gifted Minghao the Chinese novel, July sun beaming through the windows. Members scattered about with individual schedules or working on individual side projects. Minghao’s finally able to read some of Junhui’s Chinese novel in the main room.

“Oh, hey, that looks new,” Jisoo says as he passes.

Minghao looks up with a smile, turning the book so Jisoo can get a better look at the cover, “Ah, Junnie gave it to me a few weeks ago. What are you doing here?” He doesn’t mean it in a negative sense, but Jisoo doesn’t live on the eighth floor so if he’s here, it’s with a purpose.

“I’m actually waiting for Jun right now. You don’t mind if I steal him for a couple hours, do you?” he asks in a gentle but slightly teasing way. “I found a Mexican restaurant that reminds me of some food I had back home and he’s never had some so…” Jisoo shrugs, leaving Minghao to figure out the rest.

Minghao giggles. “No, please, take him. Go, have fun, tell me how it goes,” he waves him away with a shooing motion.

“Unless you’d want to come along?” Jisoo adds.

While Minghao’s thinking it over, Junhui hops up to Jisoo with an eager grin spread on his face.

“Actually, I was just asking  _ Eisa _ if he’d want to come with us,” Jisoo smiles, gesturing at Minghao.

Junhui turns to Minghao, his grin falling into the shape of an ‘o’ and exhales deeply. Minghao isn’t sure how to interpret that. “Yeah, sure, if he wants,” he says, sounding just as nervous as he looks, rubbing the back of his neck.

Minghao was actually thinking of staying, because he doesn’t want to be one of those people that spends all their time with their partner. He also wants Junhui to sustain his individual friendships with the others outside of him. 

But the way Junhui’s face soured when Jisoo mentioned bringing Minghao along makes him curious. If he doesn’t go now, Minghao wonders if he’ll be missing out on something important and won’t be able to stop thinking about it.

“Are you sure it’s okay?” Minghao asks, already closing his book.

“Yeah, of course,” Jisoo says with a reassuring smile. “I won’t invite Jeonghan this time, I promise.”

Junhui laughs and rolls his eyes, shoving Jisoo a little. Minghao nods, “I actually haven’t tried Mexican food before either, so I’m curious.” He grins, getting up.

“Great, I can introduce you both to it!” Jisoo claps once, watching Minghao run to his room to change.

When they get to the restaurant, Jisoo insists that Junhui and Minghao sit together.

“So I can see both your reactions when you try the food!” Jisoo reasons, taking the seat across Junhui. “Don’t worry, I’ll just order my favorites for the table and you guys try it.”

Minghao nods in gratitude but looks over the menu anyways out of curiosity. Mostly for the pictures, partially to see the ingredients list. Jisoo gets caught up in speaking to the wait staff and is excited when he’s able to prattle off the order in English.

Some appetizers arrive and Jisoo tells them what each of the dipping sauces are. Minghao notices that Junhui isn’t speaking, but he also isn’t on his phone, just staring at anywhere that isn’t Minghao. Almost like he isn’t there at all. How is he supposed to interpret this air?

“Sorry I kind of barged in on your lunch date,” Minghao says, looking at Jisoo first and then Junhui.

Jisoo tosses a chip in his mouth. “We invited you, though,” he says with a laugh.

“I know but.” Minghao looks cautiously towards Junhui, still focused on his food and not looking at him. Is this what Minghao was like during Junhui’s birthday dinner? Unhappy at unwanted guests?

There’s suddenly a thump under the table and Junhui quickly recoils, wincing. Minghao looks over at Jisoo and sees him smiling warmly. “Dig in?” the eldest offers.

Minghao nods with an eager smile. They try a couple dishes in the order that Jisoo recommends. Junhui occasionally sucks in air through his teeth while complaining it’s not spicy and Jisoo tells him there’s some hot sauce on the table he can add.

“Junnie, stop acting weird,” Jisoo eventually says, laughing as he wipes his fingers on a napkin. “You haven’t spoken to  _ Eisa  _ since we got here. If you two weren’t already dating, I’d say you’re acting like I made you sit beside your long-time crush or worst nemesis.”

Minghao turns to Junhui with a curious look. “Really? Jun-ah, I didn’t know you felt that way,” he says theatrically.

Junhui turns to him with a close-eyed cat smile. “Hah hah, very funny.” He picks up a napkin and wipes sauce from Minghao’s mouth. “He  _ was _ my long-time crush, though,” Junhui says to Jisoo, nodding quickly and crumpling the napkin between his fingers before he lets it drop on the table.

Jisoo lets out an amused laugh. “I know, Junnie, I was there.”

“Don’t talk about me like I’m not here,” Minghao says, looking down at his food with a flush in his ears.

Jisoo turns to Minghao, dipping another chip in one of the sauces. “He came to me so many times when he was scared to approach you.” He tosses the chip in his mouth. “He was so worried you’d hate him.”

“Yes, thank you, Shua,” Junhui grinds out, taking a sip of his drink.

“What? He’s literally your boyfriend right now, he already knows you like him,” Jisoo defends himself, laughing. “It was so sweet though, he was always saying ‘he’s my best friend, I don’t want him to hate me.’ I had to convince him that you wouldn’t do that.”

“I wouldn’t do that,” Minghao assures in a small voice. If his hands weren’t just touching food, he would’ve stroked the back of Junhui’s head.

“I didn’t know that at the time,” Junhui says before shoving a burrito in his mouth, not meeting Minghao’s eyes.

Before Minghao can respond, Jisoo cuts in, “I always  _ did _ find it interesting though,” he says absent-mindedly, swirling his straw in his drink. “Junnie was always more worried about you hating him than he was about you rejecting him.”

“When was that?” Minghao asks, suddenly curious.

“I told you, when you pulled me aside during that one show in October. You thought I was anxious or something,” Junhui rushes out the words dismissively; he really wants this part of the conversation to be over already.

“Hmm, no, it was before that,” Jisoo says, head tilted towards the ceiling and drawing invisible shapes with his finger. “It was  _ definitely _ before the October show. I remember because I was worried about Jeonghan’s birthday coming up and you were— ”

“Yes.  _ Thank you _ _,_ Shua,” Junhui repeats, slightly harsher and not making eye contact with either of them.

“Sorry, I was just trying to remember the timeline right.” Jisoo backs off in his seat, watching the duo.

Minghao cranes his head forward to see Junhui’s expression. Eyes solemn and cheeks full of food. Junhui really  _ was _ thinking about this for a long time; Junhui had liked him that much for that long, and Minghao didn’t even notice.

“Junnie,” he starts. He doesn’t know where to go from here, though. “ _ It’s okay”? “I’m sorry I didn’t know”? “We’re together now, though”?  _ “That’s so sweet.”

_ Where did that come from, Minghao? What the actual fuck. _

Junhui’s eyes widen and dart around the table. “Yeah, well,” he says nervously.  Minghao probably would have kissed him if they weren’t eating.

“Aww,” Jisoo coos, “see this makes all those months of listening to you worth it.”

Junhui suddenly stands up. “I’m going to the washroom.” He leaves before waiting for a response.

Jisoo pulls his lips together. “Hmm, I may have stepped too far on that one. I’ll go talk to him,” he says before leaving after the tall dancer.

Minghao nods to no one in particular and looks around at the table for anything left he wants to eat. He checks his watch every so often waiting for them to return. Minghao eventually takes his phone out, scrolling through his feeds while occasionally looking around the restaurant in anticipation. Whenever he catches the eyes of the wait staff, he nods in acknowledgement and smiles, suddenly feeling obliged to eat one of the chips on the table.

After about fifteen minutes, Jisoo eventually comes out, waving and smiling, “Sorry about that, Junnie will be out in a bit,” he says casually, taking his seat while fishing his wallet out of his pocket.

“Is he okay?” Minghao asks cautiously.

Jisoo looks up from his wallet. “Oh, yeah, of course. He’s fine, he’s just,” he pauses, looking through his wallet again. “I’ve said a bunch of things I shouldn’t have today, that was my fault.” He swipes up the bill and heads to wait staff before Minghao can interrogate him further. Minghao follows him.

Junhui finally comes out from the washroom, rubbing his hands together as if he were somehow cold. He looks fine, like Jisoo said, but Minghao still feels uneasy. Junhui goes to the table to finish off his drink before heading towards the door where Jisoo is waiting.

Minghao slips his hand into Junhui’s as they walk back to the dorm. He’s relieved when Junhui accepts although he doesn't link their fingers together. Minghao doesn’t ask what happened, he figures Junhui will tell him if he wants. Jisoo walks on Junhui’s other side, asking them how they liked the food and says that he’ll tell them if there are other cuisines he finds for them to try. Junhui promises they’ll do the same.

They see Jisoo off at the sixth floor once again, where Minghao notices Junhui give Jisoo a pained, urgent look. Jisoo responds by putting a hand on Junhui’s shoulder, massaging it a little (in what Minghao can only interpret as “ _ you’ll be fine _ ”) before disappearing behind the door. He’s not sure what to do with this.

Junhui says nothing during the walk up the stairs to their own floor, won’t even really look at Minghao.

Minghao is toeing off his shoes before he decides the air is killing him. “Junnie, is everything okay?”

He catches Junhui’s eye, barely noticing Hansol and Chan’s heads on the sofa in the main room behind Junhui. Junhui gnaws a little at his bottom lip, grabs Minghao’s wrist and pulls him into Minghao’s own room.

“Sit,” Junhui orders in Mandarin, closing the door and begins pacing back and forth in the small space.

Minghao cautiously obeys, going to sit on his own bed, curiously watching the tense older boy.

“Why are y—” Junhui begins before thinking it over. He finally stops pacing and stares at Minghao’s soul. “Do you like me, Minghao?” His voice is strained and hurt, and it worries Minghao a bit, to the point where he only just registers Junhui using his actual name instead of a cutesy nickname.

“Wh— I … Junhui, we’re dating,” Minghao says softly despite his confusion.

Junhui runs a frustrated hand through his hair. “Yeah, but you never  _ say it _ .” The words come out a little broken. “I mean, yeah, we go on dates and you say ‘oh, we’re dating’, but I’ve never actually heard you say that you like me or that you even have feelings for me,” he sighs at the end.

Minghao sees tears gathering in the corners of Junhui’s eyes but they never quite come out. “I – I mean,” he stammers out uselessly.

Minghao’s brain short-circuits. He’s never actually sat down and thought about it before. He kind of figured that his feelings were just visible and  _ there _ . Maybe they weren’t. He may not have been sure about it when he first asked Junhui out on a date four months ago, but after dating for this long, Minghao knows he does like Junhui and he knows he wants to  _ be with _ Junhui. Why else date this long?

“I thought—”  _ you thought what, Minghao? That Junhui didn’t need to hear those things? That you somehow already said them? _ He wouldn’t be upset if either of those were true. “I thought you already knew.”

That is very much the wrong answer as Junhui’s face scrunches up in frustration and his eyes become teary. “How do you expect me to know if you don’t tell me anything?” There’s a sort of pained desperation there that stabs at Minghao’s heart.  _ Please let me in,  _ is all Minghao sees on Junhui’s face.

Minghao's mouth moves helplessly with sputters of what sound like  _ starts _ of sentences that never fully form, arms moving about in equally useless gestures between them. Junhui watches this for a while before deciding that Minghao isn’t going to actually say anything.

“Mingyu was right,” he sighs in a bitterly defeated voice. Minghao’s chest stings. “I didn’t want to believe him, but he’s right: you have some kind of wall around your heart.” He plops himself sideways onto Minghao’s bean bag chair.

“He said that?”

“A bit before my birthday, he asked how we were doing,” Junhui says in an even tone. “I said great, because we were then. He said that’s great and asked how you got over your, and I quote, ‘eight-foot wall of shit around your heart’. I thought he was just saying it as a joke you guys have with each other.” Junhui doesn’t really talk this way often, almost like he’s breaking, but it kills Minghao to see each time.

“When I asked what he meant, he said that even though you’re good at saying what you think, you don’t really say how you feel. Most of the time you just do stuff and assume the other person just  _ knows somehow _ .”

Minghao takes a shaky breath, chest tightening and heartbeat humping wildly in his ears.

“So I thought about it and he was right. You never confessed, you just asked me out,” Junhui’s tone is still steady. “I’d  _ hoped _ it was because you liked me too, but I wasn’t completely sure. At first, it was okay, because we had just started going out. But  _ months _ went by and you still hadn’t said anything. I couldn't tell if you were only with me because you felt bad or because I was just familiar. I thought maybe if I was patient enough and didn’t push you, one day you’d say you liked me too, or  _ at least _ say how you felt.”

_ But you never did _ goes unspoken but still hangs heavy in the air. A small selfish part of Minghao wants to defend himself, say that Junhui never mentioned that the entire time they were dating, say that he shouldn’t have to say it because Junhui should just  _ know _ , but that just proves Junhui’s point.

Junhui still isn’t meeting his eyes but Minghao can see his heart strangling. “Shua says to just give you space and let you come to me on your own, but it’s  _ so hard,  _ not knowing where I stand . He says I shouldn’t worry too much because your eyes look at me differently. I mean, it was nice to hear him say that, and I’m not trying to be clingy, but—” His voice starts sounding more pained and desperate as he goes on. “Sometimes I need to know you want me back. Even just once.”

Some pieces are coming together for Minghao now; Junhui insisting on sticking with Jisoo since his birthday, the silent scolding looks Jisoo kept giving Junhui, Junhui not wanting Minghao to come to his lunch with Jisoo today… 

He should’ve paid more attention. But what was he going to do, force Junhui to tell him what’s wrong again? He still doesn’t like pressing Junhui into telling him what makes him anxious, but maybe he should’ve. He should’ve noticed that Junhui was anxious and not coming to him; he was going to Jisoo. Because it was about  _ him. _ Again. Just like October.

But Minghao was too wrapped up in his own discoveries to pay attention.

Having calmed down a bit, Junhui continues, tone much softer than before. “I know you care about me, and I know you love me, at least as friends. But maybe I’m the only one in this relationship, and if that’s the case, I want you to tell me. It’s okay if it is, I just want to know.”

“That’s not the case at all,” Minghao replies quickly, hoping to cut that thought in the bud.

“Then what  _ is  _ the case?” Junhui asks, leaning back in the bean bag chair. His head flops lazily to the side, out of energy to hold it up.

Admittedly, Minghao didn’t know what he was doing in the beginning. He agreed to go out with Junhui because he was special to him and he thought there was something worth exploring there. Over the course of the past few months, he’s found out aspects of himself he didn’t know, because of Junhui.

Granted, some of them scared him, like how he thought he would lose himself in the relationship, that he would be too worried about Junhui, that other things would suffer for it, that the jealous or clingy parts of himself he discovered would cause too many problems. 

But he learned how to deal with them and accept them as part of himself. And the good definitely outweighed the bad. The way he learned to let himself show shameful parts of himself to Junhui and be okay with it, how he found an even greater sense of security and stability with Junhui, how he let himself be okay with things he wouldn’t have before.

But while Minghao was becoming more comfortable in the relationship, he forgot to mention almost all of it to Junhui. And at the same time, Junhui was growing more and more nervous about their place as a couple. Junhui wouldn’t be acting this way if it wasn’t stewing in him for a long time.

“Junhui, I—” Minghao says through an unsteady exhale, heartbeat ringing in his ears. “You’re right.”

Junhui shifts in his seat, and Minghao can tell Junhui’s only looking past his ear. “I’m listening.”

“You’re right, I’ve been unfair to you by not saying how I feel about you, I should’ve been doing that,” Minghao admits in a rush, trying to empty his brain before it shuts down again and he forgets everything he wants to say. “I mean, when we first started going out, I wasn’t really sure. I was still figuring out my feelings but I knew you were special to me, it’s just—” Minghao’s brain stutters.

He’s still a bit bolder than Junhui, staring right at him while Junhui’s eyes have moved to watch Minghao’s gesturing hands.

“I  _ do  _ like being with you, that’s what the case is,” Minghao manages to add quietly before his brain reboots. “And Mingyu’s right too. I always think you  _ know _ what I’m trying to say and I forget to actually say them to you, I’m sorry. If I knew how much it mattered to you, I would’ve done it more often.”

After a few minutes of deafening silence, Junhui finally, and slowly, meets Minghao’s eyes, “So then?” he starts in a questioning tone. A bit of Minghao’s brain starts going into overdrive, praying that Junhui doesn’t try to lead him to now say those actual words that Minghao  _ clearly  _ cannot say.

Junhui moves from the beanbag chair to sit beside Minghao on the bed, eyes scanning Minghao’s face again. Minghao feels a bit exposed since Junhui almost feels like he’s searching his soul. He doesn’t get the chance to think of anything else when Junhui suddenly leans in and cups the side of his face, bringing their lips together.

The kiss is very different from the others they’ve had; it’s slow and slightly desperate in a ‘ _please_ _don’t leave me_ ’ sort of way, or maybe it’s just Minghao making it that way. Minghao’s hand moves around to the back of Junhui’s neck, the other gripping at his shirt collar. He tries a couple times to lick his way into Junhui’s mouth but the older always pulls back _just enough_ to prevent it before moving his lips back in. Minghao is clearly not in control here.

After a couple minutes, Junhui finally pulls away. “Ah,” he says softly, “okay.” He’s wearing such a sweet, relieved smile that Minghao can barely believe he was so upset just minutes ago. However, the look in his eyes seems like he’s discovered something and Minghao isn’t sure what.

Minghao is even more confused when Junhui stands up, walks around the bed and flops down behind Minghao. Even more questions arise when Junhui reaches to try and tug Minghao towards him. “Junnie?” He didn’t expect the older to initiate a cuddle all of a sudden.

“We’re sleeping now,” Junhui’s voice has lost all of its edge.

Minghao quietly complies as Junhui’s arms circle his waist. He turns back and sees Junhui’s eyes are closed. Not sleeping yet then.

There are too many questions swirling around in Minghao's head. Why did Junhui suddenly end their argument like that? How could Minghao be so stupid and not realize how he was hurting Junhui? Did he somehow give Junhui the wrong idea? Would things have been better if Minghao were more clear on the walk to dance practice a few weeks ago? How different would things be if Minghao had refused to go to lunch with him and Jisoo today? 

_ “HaoHao, _ I can hear you thinking from here,” Junhui’s tired voice interrupts. “Stop it.”

“Junhui?” Minghao asks softly, slipping into Mandarin again. “Are you still upset with me?”

Junhui shifts a little. “Mm, no. We just had our first big fight, that’s all. It’s also my fault, I shouldn’t have let it build like that, I’m sorry. I just didn’t want to push you. We don’t have to break up or anything. It’s not like I love you any less or whatever.” His sentences are a bit clipped and come out a bit awkwardly as he tightens his hold around Minghao’s waist. “Now please stop thinking.” 

His voice sounds sleepy but Minghao’s brain zeros in on the ‘ _ I love you’ _ , which Junhui hadn’t said since they started dating. His chest is pounding. Sure, Junhui’s said it before, but that was before they were dating, back when it was in the “best friend-brother” way. Now it’s …  _ different _ .

_ All you have to do is say it back, Minghao _ .

Minghao puts a hand on top of Junhui’s. “I’m glad you told me. Tell me more often about the things you need. I promise, we’ll work it out together.”

_ You’re an idiot, Minghao _ .

Junhui hums in acknowledgement and Minghao feels his forehead press to the back of his neck. “Don’t even think about texting Mingyu,” he warns with no real threat behind it. “I said we’re sleeping so please stop thinking about it and sleep.”

Although they themselves didn’t really grow up with the age hierarchy system, they’ve grown accustomed to it after living in Korea for so long. But despite this, Junhui has never really used his status as the older to dictate orders to Minghao. This time it feels like he’s using it, this time it feels important to Junhui. So Minghao holds back his argument that it’s still mid-afternoon and they don’t need to be sleeping yet.

He closes his eyes and tries to force the thoughts out of his brain like Junhui asked.


	4. Rest of July

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Junhui says not to think about their fight, but when has Minghao ever listened?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy Minghao's Falling Down solo release day~! ^-^  
> I had to split the chapters off again because I ended up expanding two of the early scenes here, which pushed the ending scenes off for pacing reasons, hopefully it doesn't feel too filler-y and I promise not to increase the final chapter count after this.
> 
> warnings: I'm admitting right now that I don't really know how to write Mingyu (he's back). Otherwise, everyone talks a lot.

Minghao spends the next few days hyper-conscious of how to say his feelings to Junhui, but in a way that seems natural and not at all like “you said you wanted me to say it so I’m saying it to make you happy,” forced kind of way. Junhui would see right through that immediately.

For his part, Junhui spends the next few days a bit more distant from Minghao, saying he needs space for a while. He still talks to Minghao, but they’re in short bursts of answers. He still kisses Minghao on the forehead when he sees him, but it’s a little soulless. It’s clear that the fight still hangs over his head, no matter how much he says it doesn’t.

The main difference, however, is that Junhui doesn’t visit Minghao’s room as often as before. It makes Minghao all too suddenly realize how much he had gotten used to Junhui waiting for him casually in his room, or dropping in just to sit with him. He misses it. 

Instead, he catches Junhui hanging out a lot more on the sixth floor, which makes sense when Minghao thinks about it; both Jisoo and Wonwoo are there. (Minghao himself had only found out when he went to the sixth floor to visit Mingyu and Seokmin once and happened to see Junhui there with them, draped over Jisoo’s shoulders like an awkward backpack.)

Minghao isn’t sure if the other members have caught on that there’s something off between them; if they have, then they haven’t said anything about it. The only one who would one hundred percent know is Jisoo and he knows Jisoo isn’t about to dabble where he shouldn’t. He doesn't tell Mingyu or Seokmin about it since he doesn't know what he would gain from doing so.

In Minghao’s mind, the fight happened because Junhui (correctly) pointed out that Minghao never told him his feelings. Therefore, the fight can only be concluded when Minghao successfully tells Junhui his feelings. 

Junhui disagrees because he tells Minghao the fight was concluded that afternoon. _“HaoHao,_ I’m serious, I’m not upset at you. I shouldn’t have let it build up to a fight like that, but it’s resolved. I still just need some space for a bit. But don’t worry about it anymore, please?” He had said on the only day that Minghao managed to bring it up, about six days after the fight to be exact. The accompanying forehead kiss did nothing to assuage the fact that it still _felt like_ it had been much longer.

But Minghao still worries about it anyways because he doesn’t see how it’s resolved, but he _can_ see that it’s important to Junhui (despite his nonchalant claims otherwise), so it’s important to Minghao. 

“How do you confess your feelings?” he asks all of a sudden.

Jeonghan’s face, predictably, morphs into a mix of confusion and shock around his Americano straw. “What? Why would you need to confess your feelings? You’re already with Junnie.” Jeonghan eyes him suspiciously. “Unless you have feelings for someone else. In which case, I don’t approve.”

It's the day after Junhui had told him not to worry about it anymore and Minghao had asked Jeonghan out to coffee this morning, making it clear upfront that he wanted advice. Jeonghan had cooed at him and said ‘of course’ while cupping his face in both palms. Minghao didn’t want to ask Jisoo in case it would put him in an awkward position, so Jeonghan it was.

But now Jeonghan’s looking at him like Minghao’s just admitted to having an affair with Junhui’s worst enemy, and Minghao has to stop him before he gets lectured on the importance of breaking up cleanly and not cheating.

“No, it’s still Junnie, it’s just…” Minghao turns his cup in place somberly. “We had a fight the other day—” Jeonghan’s eyes widen mid-sip “—but we worked it out and we’re mostly okay now, just giving each other space. It’s just Junnie pointed out that I never told him how I feel. And I realized he was right.” His voice sounds a lot sadder towards the end.

Jeonghan puts his cup down. “How did you get together then?” Minghao makes a face. “I’m just asking, because I don’t know. I’m not judging,” Jeonghan adds with a small shrug after seeing the panic in Minghao’s eyes.

Minghao briefly wonders if all the members assumed he and Junhui mutually admitted their feelings to each other before getting together. Although that _would_ make sense.

“He confessed one day, I said let’s go on a date, we did, I kissed him on said date and asked him to go out with me,” he recounts, suddenly feeling a lot of tension in his neck.

Jeonghan nods at each point, absorbing it all. “Okay so, how _do_ you feel about him?” He takes another sip of iced Americano, swirling the cup a bit before setting it down.

Minghao thinks about it, trying to figure out how to word it. There’s a long silence and his eyes wander around the café to stall for time. When they finally land back on Jeonghan, he’s still staring at him expectantly— he’s not going to let Minghao off without answering. 

There’s no point of trying to be vague with Jeonghan; he’s _seen_ how they are together. Jeonghan probably knows Minghao’s feelings better than Minghao does, but he wants to hear Minghao say it.

“I mean, at first I wasn’t really sure. When he confessed, I was worried that maybe I wouldn’t be able to return his feelings properly, that he’d like me more than I liked him, or that maybe Junnie just liked a version of me in his head that I couldn’t live up to.” Minghao swirls his coffee cup in his hand, distracting himself. “But when I was with him, I don’t know, it just made sense. Eventually, I didn’t have to worry about that stuff. I didn’t even notice because he was just Junnie. He made it really easy to love him.” It falls out of Minghao’s mouth before his brain registers it should have filtered that; it hits him that he’s never said those things aloud to anyone before. 

When he looks up to check Jeonghan’s expression, it’s deep in thought, nodding his head like he’s figuring out a puzzle that Minghao doesn’t know all the pieces to. Part of Minghao was expecting Jeonghan to start cooing, or reach over to pinch his cheek. He’s a bit surprised that neither is happening. 

“And you weren’t able to tell him before because of your emotional constipation,” Jeonghan wonders aloud, mostly to himself. Does _everyone_ on the team think that? “So you’ve been giving each other space and you want to be able to say it to Junnie now so you can _fix this,_ is that about it?”

“Yes, exactly!” Minghao says, jumping in his seat a little out of excitement. He’s relieved that someone gets it. Maybe Jeonghan was the right choice after all.

“So then, do you _think_ you could say it to Junnie now?” Jeonghan asks slowly. Minghao pauses. _Never mind._ “If I said that when we go home after this, you have to tell Junnie what you just told me, would you be able to do it?”

“I mean— that’s…” Minghao stammers. If he _could_ do it now, he would have done so earlier, specifically during the fight. Saying how he feels about Junhui to Jeonghan and saying how he feels about Junhui to Junhui are two entirely different things. Especially when it just slipped out.

“Any particular reason why?” Jeonghan asks without a trace of condescension. “I’m just curious, because it’s not like he’ll reject you or anything. He is _very clearly_ into you,” he mutters the last part before nibbling on his straw. 

“I — I don’t…” _I don’t know._ Minghao’s chest hurts. He can’t think of anything that would explain why even just _imagining_ telling Junhui how he feels, despite them being together, seems daunting.

There’s a lull while Jeonghan sighs through his nose, stirring his straw and poking at some ice cubes. Part of Minghao feels like he just disappointed a parent, the other part is, of course, frustrated with himself for being unable to say it in front of Junhui, even in an imagination.

“You know,” Jeonghan starts slowly in a low voice, finally looking up at him. “Okay, first, stop looking like a kicked puppy,” he laughs, tapping Minghao’s hand a couple times.

Minghao nods, sipping his drink and making himself laugh. Partially for Jeonghan’s sake.

“So, as I was saying,” he continues, waving a hand back and forth to dismiss the previous air, “you know that just liking each other isn’t enough, right?”

Minghao nods quickly again. He knows, he’s not a disillusioned child. 

The look Jeonghan gives him is slightly skeptical as he laughs a little. “You sure? Because you also have to communicate and understand each other, and you don’t seem to be doing that.” He rests both elbows on the table and plants his chin right in the middle of his hands. “Maybe you were before you got together, but after… I mean, as a couple, it’s normal to get into spats now and again, as long as you talk to each other about it. Like actually talk.”

Was their fight the only time they actually talked to each other about things between them? Junhui’s never really brought it up before. _‘Come to me if you have any concerns,’_ he’d said. Yet Junhui never came to Minghao with any concerns. Maybe he didn’t have any. Besides the one that caused the fight. The one he went to Jisoo for, because he _didn’t want to push Minghao._

Would it be childish to say that he’s been trying to talk to Junhui about it lately but he’s been shutting Minghao out in the need for space? _Probably._ Because he didn't even know what he would talk to Junhui about other than 'please let me fix this'.

Jeonghan tilts his head. “So Junnie’s told you where he stands, correct?” Minghao nods. “And you know _now_ where you stand, but you didn’t before, nor have you mentioned anything about it to Junnie before your fight? Because the look on your face earlier tells me that that was the first time you’ve actually said anything about your feelings out loud.”

Caught. Minghao pulls his lips in a tight line before he says, “Ah, well— Okay wait. I told him _once,_ that day you came to my room to talk about Seungcheol’s broadcast thing.” Jeonghan’s eyes shift around a bit, trying to remember, before he nods. “On the walk to dance practice, I told him some concerns I was having about the relationship.”

“Okay, that’s a good start.” Jeonghan nods a couple times.

“I told him I was worried about who I was turning into in the relationship,” Minghao says, now nervous.

“That’s it? Those exact words?” The look on Jeonghan’s face is the non-verbal equivalent of _‘excuse me, did I hear you right?’_ and it’s rather scary. Minghao nods again, despite his uncertainty. “And how did he take it?” 

“Uh, at the time he said ‘thanks for telling me’, kissed my forehead and gave me a book to calm me down,” Minghao recounts, nodding.

“And what was the book about?” Jeonghan asks, an odd nuance seeping through his voice. 

Minghao starts getting nervous, not thinking that the book Junhui gave would be that important. “Uh, I’m not finished it yet but so far it’s about this down-on-his-luck guy in 1930s China who struggles through poverty and—”

Jeonghan waves a hand around to stop him. “Okay, so the book wasn’t a message,” he sighs. “That’s good, at least.”

Minghao mildly wonders if Jeonghan has done something similar in the past; give a gift that had a subliminal message in it, especially to a partner. Doesn’t seem like something Junhui would do.

“What did you do after?” Jeonghan suddenly asks, cutting into Minghao’s thoughts.

“Mostly just read the book, went about things as usual until Shua invited me to a lunch he was having with Junnie.” Minghao looks down, feeling guilty. “But that’s when we fought.”

Jeonghan sighs, briefly closing his eyes and rubbing his forehead. “Well, I’m sorry, sunflower, I don’t know what to tell you.” His voice is gentle and soothing but Minghao doesn’t feel much better. “There’s no right answer for this. You can’t force yourself to tell Junnie how you feel, you know? Especially if you're doing it just because you think you have to in order to fix a fight. That’s just insulting, and it won’t make you _or_ Junnie happy. It’ll probably come out on its own when you feel you’re ready, when that wall of yours is completely gone.” He leans back in his seat and takes another sip of his iced Americano.

Minghao feels his brows furrow. He’s a little annoyed at himself for being unable to do it and letting things get to this point.

“You’ll trip over yourself if you keep thinking about it,” Jeonghan muses, watching him. “Like you’ll overdo it to compensate and it'll just piss Junnie off. So just let it go, stop thinking about it and let yourself feel, it’ll happen on its own.”

Minghao nods. “It’s hard not to think about, but I’ll try. Thanks Jeonghannie.”

Jeonghan beams at him. “No problem, sunflower, I’m rooting for you two,” he really does remind Minghao of a doting parent. “Was there anything else?”

“You mentioned a wall,” Minghao leads. “Where did that come from?” He kind of wants to know if it’s the same one that Mingyu mentioned to Junhui or if they just both coincidentally had the same idea somehow.

“Oh, that,” Jeonghan says. “The eight-foot wall around your heart? All of us kind of know about it. Remember, at you and Junnie’s relationship announcement ceremony thing, some of us clapped when you said you asked Junnie out?”

“I recall,” Minghao says pointedly.

“A bunch of us weren’t really expecting _you_ to start the relationship. We kind of thought Junnie would just wear you down with pickup lines until you said yes.” Jeonghan smirks as he brings his straw to his lips. Minghao’s head is spinning.

Jeonghan starts laughing. “I mean, we all could kind of see that you had a soft spot for Junnie, even before you got together. We just didn’t know if _you_ knew you did. Because, you have to admit, you’re not the most feely-feely type of person. It was easier to read Jihoonie’s feelings than yours,” he muses.

A pout crawls on Minghao’s face and Jeonghan continues. “So we thought maybe there was just a wall or something there that kept you from acknowledging your feelings. Not even romantically, just in general. But I bet that you’d figure it out and ask Junnie out eventually.”

Minghao tries not to think about the beginning of that too much. “Was there an actual bet?”

“Hmm, I think Soonyoung started it. He might have seen you guys flirting one time too many during a practice and asked the rest of us who wants to bet which one of you will ask the other out first. I got 20,000 won that day.” Jeonghan grins and reaches over to pat Minghao’s hand. Minghao somehow feels like he’s been part of a scam.

Jeonghan is still laughing when they leave the café, heading to a convenience store on the way back to the dorm for some ice pops since the summer heat was becoming unbearable.

“I’ll pay.” Jeonghan grins at Minghao as he picks out a flavor from the freezer.

 _I would hope so, I helped you earn that money_ , he thinks bitterly, ignoring the fact that the bet was months ago at this point and it’s probably not even the same money. “Thanks, Jeonghannie,” he sings with a bright smile instead.

When they open the door to the dorm, Junhui, Wonwoo, Soonyoung, and Jihoon are gathered at the entryway. Soonyoung is slipping on his sandals next to an eager Jihoon talking animatedly to an equally cheerful Wonwoo. Only Junhui is waiting close behind Soonyoung, still barefoot. They look like they’re about to leave.

“We’re off to see a movie,” Junhui supplies when he sees Minghao’s curious look.

Minghao feels too many eyes on him as he nods. “Okay, be safe, have fun,” he prattles off instinctively as he comes in the door. He goes over to give Junhui a quick kiss and a slightly lazy one-armed hug due to the ice pop in the other hand.

“I’ll tell you about it when I come back,” Junhui says, slipping his sandals on. Minghao nods again, picking some stray hairs away from Junhui’s eyes with his free hand. When he’s satisfied, he tilts his ice pop towards Junhui, who pauses but then accepts by biting off a piece of the end.

They give a last wave as Junhui tugs Wonwoo’s arm out the door in excitement. Jeonghan calls out a “have fun, come home on time” to all of them, despite it being just after one in the afternoon. When the door closes, Jeonghan turns to beams _gloriously_ at Minghao.

“What?”

“That’s not you overcompensating, right?” he coos and Minghao’s red ears signal his loss to embarrassment. “Don’t ever break up, it’ll break my heart,” Jeonghan says with a dramatic pout and walks off. Minghao guesses he’s off to look for one of the other younger members to dote over before going to the sixth floor to look for Jisoo or Seungcheol like usual. Minghao’s not really sure which.

He opts to finish his ice pop in the kitchen before he goes to his own room. He sits in his beanbag chair on the floor, back against the bed, and takes out the book Junhui gifted him months before. He gets through a good few pages before his door slips open.

“I feel like you’ve been avoiding me,” Mingyu’s voice interrupts. “I know you got a boyfriend and all, but that doesn’t mean you have to abandon me.” The playful grin could be heard in his voice.

Minghao doesn’t look up from his book. “You told said boyfriend about an eight-foot wall around my heart, I think we’re even.”

Mingyu lets out a dramatically tired sigh, plopping himself on the floor a couple feet in front of Minghao. “Okay, that was months ago and, to be fair, it’s probably like two feet now,” he grins, reaching over to shake Minghao’s ankle.

Minghao bites his tongue, holding back from letting out just how much it bugged him. “Don’t say weird stuff to Junnie, Mingyu,” is what he settles for, turning the page before putting the book away. “And I’m not avoiding you, we’ve both been busy. So, what do you want?”

“We haven’t hung out much since you and Junnie got together.” Mingyu pouts.

They sort of have. Here and there. Briefly. Especially when he came to the sixth floor to see him and Seokmin when Junhui was keeping distance from him. “Ah, sorry about that. Been trying to make stuff work with Junnie, y’know?”

“No, I totally get it Relationships and all,” Mingyu mumbles, drawing odd symbols on the floor with his finger.

Minghao watches him and debates asking him more about the heart wall he told Junhui about. He decides against it; he promised Jeonghan he was going to try not to think about it. “Did you have something in mind?”

Mingyu’s still drawing odd shapes on the floor distractedly. “I wanted to ask you about something.”

“Shoot.”

“It’s about Wonwoo,” he says cautiously. Minghao doesn’t know where this is going. He probably spends less time with Wonwoo than he would like so he’s not sure what help he could provide, but he nods at Mingyu to continue anyway. “I think I like him?”

“Are you asking me or telling me?” Minghao asks after a pause.

“Both?”

Minghao shakes his head quickly to make sense of this, “Okay, start over.” He stands up to go to the wine cooler, because they’re going to need it.

Once Minghao has some wine poured out for the both of them, Mingyu launches into his story about how, ever since Minghao and Junhui’s relationship reveal ceremony, he’s been noticing more and more how he might have actual romantic feelings for Wonwoo. Minghao had just been teasing all those times before; he didn’t think Mingyu _actually_ had an interest in Wonwoo.

“And you guys watching those dramas didn’t work?” Minghao asks.

“We didn’t actually. I mean, we did for a while, but it was like the ongoing ones so we only watched those once a week until it ended and I couldn’t think of another excuse to be around him that much without it being weird,” Mingyu sighs into his wine glass.

Minghao swirls what’s left of his glass. “Why would it be weird? Well anyway, don’t ask him out to a movie, he’s at one right now.” Minghao watches Mingyu’s expression take on panic. “I saw them as they were leaving, he left with a _really_ good-looking guy.” He tries to nonchalantly take a sip of his wine but his smile probably peaked out.

“What time did they leave?”

Minghao flicks his wrist to check his watch, “About the time I got back so like, an hour or two ago?”

Mingyu visibly gulps. “W-well, I hope he has a good time,” he says shakily.

“Does Wonwoo like to hold hands during movies?” Minghao asks suddenly.

“I’m … I’m not sure, I’m always the one who held his hand when we watched dramas.” Mingyu’s eyes are shaking slightly and Minghao is enjoying every second of it.

He grins. “That’s okay, Junnie’s there to hold his if he wants.” Mingyu’s soul looks like it’s about to leave his body and Minghao bursts out laughing. “Wonwoo’s at the movies with 96-line, don’t worry.” He hits Mingyu’s shoulder.

“Don’t scare me like that!” Mingyu whines.

When he stops laughing, Minghao asks, “How have you asked him out so far?”

“Oh, uh,” Mingyu stammers, “I ask him to go to, like, stores and stuff.”

“But don’t we all do that with each other?” Minghao asks flatly. “Shua and Chan go to stores all the time but we all know they’re not going to start dating any time soon.”

Mingyu puts his wine glass down and reaches over to grab a pillow from Minghao’s bed and yells into it. “This is so hard!”

Minghao smiles. He wants to sympathize but, even though Minghao’s the one who asked Junhui out on a date, Junhui confessed first so he’s not sure what he can say. He’s kind of in a similar predicament right now: being unable to confess his feelings. But it feels like Minghao has less to risk compared to Mingyu.

\----

Junhui and the rest of 96-line are out way later than Minghao thought, and no, Minghao isn’t worried. He’s lost track of what glass of wine they’re on, but Mingyu is a mess. It’s hard to say if it’s the alcohol or if he’s just in this much distress over Wonwoo.

It’s dark out his window and Minghao is laying on his bed watching as Mingyu, sitting on the floor, hugs a pillow tightly to himself, and reciting the twelfth list of things he likes about Wonwoo. Minghao briefly wonders if Junhui had a similar list before he confessed, he also wonders if _he_ needs a list of things he likes about Junhui.

Thankfully, Minghao doesn’t have to think up an answer when his door opens again. Except this time, in walks his boyfriend, looking ragged and tired. The bed shifts as Junhui wordlessly flops on the bed, not even sparing Mingyu a glance, leaning his head on Minghao’s chest with a heavy sigh.

Junhui’s been keeping distance the past few days, so Minghao’s a little surprised at the sudden intimacy, but he doesn’t want to lose this chance to be with him. He moves his hand to drum his fingers at the side of Junhui’s hip and he tries to ignore the scandalized look Mingyu’s giving him right now. Minghao looks down and Junhui’s eyes are closed, one hand gripping the front of Minghao’s shirt in some sort of security.

Minghao takes his hand off Junhui’s hip to wave Mingyu out with a shooing motion. Mingyu stands up, and Minghao hopes he’s realized that Junhui being back must mean Wonwoo’s back too and rushes out.

Junhui must not have been pleased with Minghao’s hand being removed because his eyes tighten and the hand gripping Minghao’s shirt tugs a bit closer to himself, making a small noise akin to a cranky child. Minghao puts his hand back to continue drumming at Junhui’s hip. “How was the movie?” he asks softly.

Junhui looks up at him. “It was great! It was a crime thriller that Jihoonnie picked out. He was super excited and it was about— ” the rest of Junhui’s movie recap muffles in Minghao’s ears; he’s too distracted watching how adorably excited Junhui is and how his eyes sparkle with such pure fascination along with all the hand gestures he’s making. Junhui’s only talking about a movie but Minghao can’t help staring, feeling his lips curl up in a smile.

“Oh!” Junhui suddenly exclaims, snapping Minghao back into focus. He takes his phone out, typing quickly. “There was this actor who was _really good_ ; I wanted to look him up. Here, this guy!” Junhui shows Minghao the screen. 

Minghao isn’t that familiar and doesn’t know what to do so he just nods. “He was really good, his acting was just— _whoa_.” Junhui claps a little, grinning towards the ceiling.

Minghao laughs. “Sounds like you had a lot of fun, I’m glad.”

“Yeah, it was great! And then Soonyoung wanted to go ride bikes and play basketball at Han River afterwards.” So _that’s_ why they were late, and probably why Junhui’s so tired. But it’s brought Junhui back into a better mood, so Minghao's not complaining.

“Then after we ate at a restaurant Wonwoo picked out.” Junhui shows Minghao a selfie he took at said restaurant before inspecting it again. “It kind of felt like me and Wonwoo were on the sidelines of a date at some points.” He makes a suspicious face at the selfie, fingers zooming in on Soonyoung and Jihoon’s faces.

Minghao laughs and playfully kicks at Junhui’s leg. “I’m glad you had fun, but if you went biking and played sports, then go take a shower. Why did you lean on me first?” he asks with a whine.

Junhui rolls over away from Minghao and flops on his stomach. “I wanted to see you first when I got back.” His voice is muffled into the mattress but Minghao still giggles. This is a development.

“Shower, please.” He giggles and playfully slaps Junhui’s butt.

Junhui groans like a child being told to brush their teeth to go to bed. “But we didn’t even play that long,” he whines, flopping his limbs on the bed like a weakened fish.

“But you’re sweaty and I’m already going to have to wash the sheets since I’m pretty sure you got sweat on them too.” Another playful butt slap, followed by Minghao giving up and just shaking Junhui.

“You wouldn’t have even noticed if I hadn’t mentioned it,” Junhui pouts.

“Yeah, but now that I know, I won’t be able to stop thinking about it,” Minghao says through another laugh. There are three more playful butt slaps and Junhui doesn’t respond for a while. A brief thought of him falling asleep crosses Minghao’s mind. “Junnie?”

Minghao flips Junhui over and his eyes are closed.

“Jun-ah, don’t play dead.” He lightly smacks his abdomen this time.

“Don’t wanna move, carry me,” Junhui croaks out, eyes still not opening.

“Don’t tempt me.”

Junhui opens one eye to look at Minghao, “No, wait, I don’t want to crush you under my weight, you’re so skinny.” He grins, earning another smack from Minghao. “I’ll go in exchange for a kiss,” he offers coyly. Minghao is a bit surprised, given that their last conversation was Junhui still asking for space and somewhat shutting him out.

He lets out an annoyed _tsk_ but smiles anyways and complies, leaning down to kiss Junhui quickly. “There, now will you shower?”

“Another,” Junhui insists cheekily, “I want a set of three.”

Minghao sighs at the childish request, giving two more quick kisses. He pauses and gives another five, making sure he holds the last one before pulling away. _Gotta stay on brand_.

Junhui sits up, teasingly hitting Minghao as he does. “Did you really just give me _eight kisses_ just to stay on brand?” he laughs.

Minghao can’t help laughing either, falling backwards on the bed. He wasn’t sure if he said that out loud or Junhui just knew him that well.

The bed shifts as Junhui stands up. “I’m going,” he calls as he leaves.

Minghao sits back upright on his bed and takes out his phone to look through SNS feeds while he waits. They’re falling back into a rhythm, aren’t they? He thinks back on his conversation with Mingyu earlier, along with his chat with Jeonghan this morning.

Junhui returns a couple minutes later, hair still damp and with a towel draped around his shoulders. He’s towel drying his hair when Minghao says, “Junnie, let’s go on a date.”

“Yeah, okay,” he agrees distractedly, still working through drying his hair.

At this point, one of them asking the other on a date is straightforward: they just tell the other they want to go on a date and they discuss whether they have lessons that day or not. Ninety-eight percent of the time, it works. The only time it didn’t was when Junhui happened to ask when Minghao was booked for vocal, language and dance lessons the entire week.

Junhui goes over to sit in front of Minghao on the bed, one leg still dangling over the edge. “What?” he asks with a slight laugh. Minghao raises his brows questioningly. “You’ve been smiling at me weird since I came in. I know I just showered, but do I really look that weird?”

Minghao’s brain races, _was he really doing that?_ “You’re so handsome.” He gently pats Junhui’s cheek twice.

“All of a sudden?” Junhui asks, smiling a little. “Anyway, what day were you thinking of for the date?”

“Hmm, week after next week? Whatever evening you’re free,” Minghao hums.

“Sure,” Junhui agrees casually. “Two weeks from now, Thursday okay?”

Minghao takes the towel from Junhui’s shoulders and nods, drying Junhui’s hair himself. Junhui’s eyes widen in shock at the gesture before he tilts his head forward for Minghao to continue. It’s a rather comfortable silence as Minghao works the towel through Junhui’s hair until he’s satisfied and drops the towel on Junhui’s knee.

Wordlessly, he stands up and goes over to a drawer to rummage for a stay-in hair product, rubbing it through his fingers a bit before he sits back down to apply it to Junhui’s hair.

He’s doing some mild styling and picking some strands around when he finally speaks, “So are you going to tell me what happened?” he asks gently, like he’s asking about what to eat. He’s still focused on his task, so it almost seems like he’s asking Junhui’s hair. 

Junhui blinks a couple times, staring at him. “Today? Again?”

Minghao shakes his head, then pauses. “If you want.” He finishes his task and looks at Junhui, briefly wiping his hands on the towel before grabbing his wrists. “But I also meant the past few days, since the fight.” 

When he says it, Junhui sighs and looks away. Minghao tightens his grip. _“Junhui,_ you have to talk to me. If we don’t communicate, then what’s the point?” He knows it’s rich, coming from him, but he’s hoping Junhui will look past that. “I’ll go first. I had coffee with Jeonghan this morning and then hung out with Mingyu this afternoon.”

He’s not sure why he’s so desperate to know what Junhui’s been up to the past few days, but he is. Maybe he just wants to know if Junhui’s been as miserable as he was.

Junhui actually snickers and starts gently swinging his arms back and forth, forcing Minghao’s to follow. “You’re so cute. Okay, this morning, I ate with Wonwoo, Seokmin, and Shua, then I watched a movie with the rest of 96-line, played basketball at Han River, ate dinner at a restaurant, came home, got ordered to shower, had my hair dried by my boyfriend all of a sudden, and now I’m here.”

Minghao feels himself pout. “You’re mocking me.”

“I’m not! That’s what happened!” Junhui laughs, leaning forward to kiss Minghao’s nose quickly.

“You only talked about today!” Minghao knows he’s whining, but he doesn’t want to think about it.

“So did you!” 

Okay, that’s fair. Minghao pouts again and it’s his turn to swing their arms. “The past few days, I’ve been worrying about us,” he admits with a small sigh.

“Even though I told you not to,” Junhui states, not even bothering to act like he’s questioning it. Minghao nods and Junhui doesn’t speak for a bit. Finally, he chuckles. “Stop looking like a beat up kitten! I kind of figured you would think about it, no matter what I said.”

Minghao looks up at Junhui, confused. 

“Were you—” he cuts himself off with a sigh. “Look, I meant what I said. I’m not upset with you and I admit, I shouldn’t have made it that big of a deal.”

 _But it is a big deal,_ Minghao thinks bitterly to himself. “But Junnie, I—”

“I’m happy with the answer you gave me,” Junhui says with a reassuring smile, matching the one he gave after the kiss that day. Minghao still doesn’t feel like it’s been resolved so Junhui plants another quick kiss. “Stop pouting. So for me, I spent the past few days with Shua and Wonwoo. We’re considering doing a piece where Shua plays guitar while singing, Wonwoo raps, and I dance while singing. I’m hoping not so much falsetto though, but they’re outnumbering me on that front.”

“Junnie, I’m serious.”

“I know you are,” Junhui reaffirms. “So am I.”

“Not about the falsetto.”

“Well _I’m_ serious about that.” He huffs in return.

Minghao sighs. “What made you … uh, want to come see me tonight? Especially after…”

Junhui just tilts his head curiously. “I said I’d tell you about the movie when I came back, didn’t I?”

“Well yeah, but, I mean — I thought you still wanted space,” Minghao says through an inelegant pout.

A chuckle comes out of Junhui’s throat that erupts into coughing and he turns his head towards his shoulder until it goes away since Minghao isn’t relinquishing his grip on Junhui’s wrists yet. “I promised I wouldn’t tell,” he says when he recovers.

Minghao frowns. “Promised who?”

 _“HaoHao,_ if I tell you that, you’ll probably try to fight them.”

Minghao takes a deep breath through his nose, still pouting as he squints at Junhui. “I won’t.”

An amused smile creeps on Junhui’s lips as he shakes his head in disbelief. “Soonyoung and Jihoon, today.”

“You’re actually telling me?”

Junhui just smiles even wider and he nods once. “I trust you.”

Minghao returns the smile in gratitude but somehow still feels something needs to be resolved. “When we were walking to dance practice a couple months ago, when Jeonghan came to our room to talk about Seungcheol and I told you I was scared of who I was becoming in this relationship,” he leads nervously and takes a deep breath. He pauses, not sure where to go from here.

Junhui just nods again with a fond smile and keeps watching Minghao, waiting for him to finish. 

“Did that contribute to your…” he pauses, searching for the right way to put this, “anxieties about us?”

Junhui lets out a low breath, looking around the room for a while before answering, “It did,” he admits. “I thought maybe I was responsible for turning you into someone you didn’t want to be and you didn’t like it.”

So _that’s_ why Jeonghan was concerned when Minghao said he told Junhui that exact phrasing.

“You called it a pull you didn’t know how to fight and you were scared. Somehow I thought that anything that came out of it would be my fault until Shua told me you would’ve broken up with me if you truly didn’t like it,” Junhui adds. 

Minghao shakes his head quickly, scrunching his eyes shut. From what Shua’s said and how Junhui acts, he figures the only way they’ll break up is if Minghao wants to. Junhui wouldn’t willingly try to, unless he thought it was upsetting Minghao. Breaking up has never actually crossed Minghao’s mind. 

“No, at the time, I just meant…” He knows what the pull meant. He was scared of how much he liked Junhui and he wasn’t prepared for it; he didn’t know how to deal with it then. He thinks he does now.

“I know what you meant,” Junhui answers for him. “At least now I think I do.”

Minghao chuckles lightly. “Jeonghan was worried the book you gave me was some sort of subliminal message in response to that.”

Junhui’s face lights up in another fond smile. “You’ve been talking to Jeonghannie?”

Minghao tosses Junhui’s wrists back at him, landing in his lap. “Yeah, this morning. And you took Shua so…” 

Junhui playfully shoves him in return. “The book was just a novel I liked, I don’t think that far ahead as to make it a hidden meaning about us or anything,” he replies, chuckling. “What else did Jeonghannie tell you?” 

“That I would probably trip over myself overcompensating for the distance thing.” Minghao pouts again.

Junhui covers his mouth as he laughs exaggeratedly, falling backwards on the bed. “I mean, the thing with the ice pop _was_ kind of pushing it.”

Minghao rushes over on his knees, grabbing a pillow to hit Junhui with. He is embarrassed and Jeonghan called it. 

Junhui sits up, gently playing with the top of Minghao’s ear. “It was cute, I liked it, don’t worry,” he reassures. “Wonwoo teased me for it on the walk to the movie, but he’s Wonwoo so,” Junhui shrugs.

As he sits back on his heels, Minghao thinks of what else Jeonghan told him today. “Don't talk to Shua anymore,” he says firmly, which just gets him a questioning glance from Junhui. “Just me. If there's anything wrong with us, talk to me, not Shua. Please.” 

The skeptical look on Junhui’s face makes Minghao wonder if he also thinks that was as desperately pitiful and childish-sounding as Minghao fears it was. “Okay,” Junhui agrees after some thought.

That's it? It was that easy?

“Yeah,” Junhui answers, making Minghao realize he said his last thoughts out loud. “As long as you do the same. You weren't really talking to anyone about your worries with us before, right? This morning with Jeonghannie was the first time?”

Minghao nods slowly. Junhui's been consulting with Jisoo the entire time while Minghao's tried to deal with it all on his own before today. Although that just makes Minghao wonder even more why Junhui would be willing to give up consulting with Jisoo so easily, so he asks.

“Because I wasn’t sure before, if you’d want to talk about us, like as a couple. I thought I’d scare you away and put too much pressure on you while you were just settling in. But you asking me this means that you're” — Junhui tosses his head from side to side in thought— _“sure_ about this now. You're into me.”

Minghao flops down face-first onto one of the pillows. “Please don't say it like that.”

Junhui follows suit and lays down next to him. “But it's true?” Minghao nods. “Then I don't need to talk to Shua about it anymore. But I _will_ still talk to him about our piece idea with Wonwoo.”

“Of course,” Minghao concedes with a muffled groan.

“We’ll show you when it’s done. Wonwoo wants to go the ‘Loner by Outsider’ route and have Shua play slow guitar while he raps intensely and I come in with a falsetto probably, but it’s still in debate,” he sighs, although he sounds pretty excited. “Anything else you wanna talk about?” Junhui asks, patting Minghao’s back. 

Minghao tosses over on his side so he’s facing Junhui and sees he’s looking right at him with his head propped up on his hand, leaning on his elbow. “Shua knows about the fight?”

Junhui’s fingers reach forward to play with Minghao’s necklace, inspecting it. “Mm-hm, he figured it out,” he says absent-mindedly. “He knew what I wanted to talk to you about that day, remember? He saw my face the next day and put it together. He’s the only one who knows, if that’s what you’re worried about. Well, besides Jeonghannie if you told him.”

“I did. What about Wonwoo?”

“He tried once, asked how you were and Shua covered for me, said we have to keep this collaboration piece a secret. Otherwise, he didn’t mention it besides the ice pop thing.”

Minghao brings his lips in his mouth in embarrassment and just nods. He also now has to make sure he remembers to keep their collaboration piece to himself, since Junhui’s _just telling him everything,_ despite saying it’s a secret.

“So what’d you tell Jeonghannie?” Junhui asks curiously, finally looking up from the necklace. Minghao goes into a mild panic before realizing this is what’s supposed to happen, they should just be able to tell each other things like this without being scared. He can’t always be the one interrogating Junhui without giving answers back.

He catches one of Junhui’s hands playing with his necklace. “That I knew you were right, like about the fight.” The look Junhui gives seems worried and slightly pitiful. Minghao can feel that the elder wants to scold him again for thinking about it when he didn’t have to. “I missed you while you were gone,” he says softly, staring into Junhui’s eyes. He brushes away some more stray hairs from Junhui’s face, just because he can.

It had technically only been about six days since the fight, today being the seventh, and they _did_ still see each other around the dorms. Therefore, Minghao knows it sounds silly saying he missed him, but Minghao’s been feeling a lot of things he previously thought were silly, so one more can’t hurt.

Another quick kiss lands on his forehead. “I missed you too,” Junhui says with a wide grin.

“So, uh, do you think you’re done needing space?” Minghao asks in a small, timid voice. It’s very unlike him, which Junhui hopefully picks up on.

“As long as you are.”

Minghao is about to argue back that _he_ didn’t need space; he wanted to keep being with Junhui but sees the dubious look Junhui's giving him. “Was the space for me or for you?” he finally asks.

Junhui looks back down and continues playing with the pendant of Minghao’s necklace. “Hm, both of us. But mostly you,” he says gently. Minghao waits for him to elaborate on that but he doesn’t. “Tell me something, _HaoHao.”_

“I’ll tell you anything you want,” Minghao promises quickly, mostly as a way to make good on what he said earlier. But he realizes that saying that specific sentence was a mistake. He _does_ want to be able to tell Junhui anything, but he’s pretty much screwed if Junhui asks him now to tell him how he feels. After his chat with Jeonghan, Minghao’s still pretty sure it’s the only thing he can’t tell Junhui. Yet.

Junhui actually laughs at his answer, not expecting it but also seeing the realization settle on Minghao’s face. He quickly covers it with his hand. “Do you think you would have come to the same conclusions you did today if I _hadn’t_ given you space? If I’d just stayed by your side like nothing was wrong after the fight.”

Minghao’s mouth falls open. “I thought I was supposed to be the philosophical one between us.”

Junhui just shrugs with a coy smile. “To be fair, I’ve been talking a lot with Shua.” His fingers move to play with the delicate chain part of the necklace now. 

Minghao was so focused on making it up to Junhui that he didn't even think about those points. If Junhui had still acted like nothing was wrong afterwards, Minghao guesses he would've thought Junhui was hiding something, wasn't serious about this, or that Junhui needing to hear Minghao say that he loves him really wasn't that big of a deal. “So the space was just for us to…” he trails off, huffing out air through his cheeks.

“Give us time to think, figure out what you really want,” Junhui affirms, gazing right at him again. “I already know where I stand, no matter how difficult you are.” He says the last part teasingly, giggling and shoving Minghao’s shoulder a couple times to coax him into laughing too, but the younger still frowns.

“What if I’d decided this wasn’t what I wanted?” he asks softly, feeling his eyes take on a pained expression, watching.

Junhui briefly looks away, tucking Minghao’s necklace back under his shirt collar and tapping it. “Then at least I tried.”

Shit. If Minghao wasn’t sure before, he definitely knows he loves Junhui now. Even if he still can’t say it. He grabs Junhui by the crook of his neck and kisses him. 

Junhui's frozen a bit at the start, likely out of surprise before he reciprocates and it’s more of an even dance this time around, to Minghao's relief, melding together softly. He moves a bit tentatively to test how much Junhui will let him do this time, slowly working his way into his boyfriend’s mouth.

Minghao’s not sure how many minutes it’s been before he moves down to mouth at Junhui’s jaw when he hears, “Another question, _HaoHao,”_ in a breathy exhale.

“Anything,” he foolishly promises again, trying to work his way down Junhui’s neck. Maybe it’s the emotions rushing in his ears. He really is tripping over himself trying to overcompensate, isn’t he?

Junhui just laughs and clears his throat. “Mingyu was in here earlier, right?”

This makes Minghao stop completely. “Oh… uh, yeah, he was.” Somehow he had almost completely forgotten about that. He backs up and frowns. 

Junhui presses a quick kiss to Minghao’s nose as he gets up. “Ask him to clean up next time.”

Minghao just groans, flopping on his back. “Next time, can you please not say my best friend’s name when we make out?”

Junhui picks up his disregarded hair-drying towel and a wine glass from the floor when he looks back at Minghao’s dramatic whining. “So I’m not your best friend anymore?” 

Minghao’s brain is too clouded for this. “You’re different, though. You’re my best friend _and_ my boyfriend. Mingyu’s my best friend that I don’t make out with, nor do I want to.”

“You know I’m just messing with you, right?” There’s a click and Junhui’s out the door. When Junhui comes back to put the now clean wine glass back in Minghao’s cupboard, he heads towards the door again and Minghao makes a noise of protest. “What? You didn’t think I was going to sleep here, did you?”

“Well, I was _hoping,”_ Minghao sighs with a small pout. They made up, didn’t they? But of course Junhui wouldn’t let him fix this with a mild makeout session.

In a low tone, Junhui asks, “Don’t you still need your space?” And there it is, Junhui’s last doubt; Minghao knows this is Junhui’s way of giving him one last chance to back out if he wants to. Minghao doesn’t want it.

“No,” he replies with an easy smile, patting the space on the bed beside him.

Junhui sucks in air through his teeth and tilts his head about, considering. “What if _I_ do?” he asks instead.

Somewhere in Minghao’s mind, he’d gotten used to the idea that Junhui would always just comply and go along with whatever Minghao wanted. Minghao wants him to stay, to let them go back to normal. But can he really ask for that when he’s not able to tell Junhui his feelings? That's what Junhui wants, right?

Resignedly, Minghao just nods, eyes looking to the side. “Then I won’t force you. I’d be sad, but I’d understand.” He tucks his legs under his blanket covers.

Junhui is still standing in the middle of the room, looking down at Minghao. There’s a long, deep sigh before Minghao feels the blankets move and Junhui has tucked himself into the bed beside him, back facing Minghao.

Minghao leans over to look at Junhui’s face, his eyes are shut. “Junnie?”

His grip on the blanket tightens as he pulls it closer to him. “You’re so spoiled, you're lucky I like you,” he mutters, voice light and eyes still closed. “Don’t say I never did anything for you.”

Minghao lightly slaps his back before settling in his own spot. After some consideration, he moves behind Junhui and wraps his arms around to spoon him instead. Junhui doesn’t react except to pat one of Minghao’s hands. “Thanks, Junnie, love you too,” he whispers to himself, leaning his forehead against Junhui.

“What are you muttering back there? Do you have more concerns?”

Minghao shakes his head, hoping Junhui can feel it. “I said thanks Junnie, goodnight.”

“‘Night, _Haohao.”_

* * *

The following week is filled with several dance meetings, the ones where Soonyoung bounces ideas off the choreographer and then the rest of the Performance Team to work on before deciding to use it for the whole group.

Thankfully, since their long talk, the anxiousness Junhui had months ago is gone, and the trepidation Minghao had towards their relationship has also since dissipated. They’ve more or less fallen into a more comfortable rhythm with each other. 

“I swear to god, I will write a report to Jeonghan,” Soonyoung threatens as he squats down, phone camera pointing at Minghao’s face then moving down.

Junhui squints, tossing his head a bit in Minghao’s lap. “Go ahead, I can dispute it,” he groans back crankily.

During a break, Minghao had just sat on the floor, legs outstretched, feet bopping along casually when Junhui approached and decided that Minghao’s lap was now his pillow.

Click. “You guys promised him no PDA,” Soonyoung says with a nudge at Junhui’s ankle.

“That is false. We promised him _less_ PDA, so consider yourself lucky that this is all we’re doing,” Junhui retorts, turning his head away from Soonyoung. Consequently, this means his nose is right at Minghao’s knees.

“Myungho, help me out here!” Soonyoung prods, pointing dramatically over his shoulder. “Chan is literally right there, he’s Jeonghan’s _baby.”_

Chan looks up from his briefing with the choreographer. “Stop saying that!” 

Minghao looks down at Junhui then back at Soonyoung, who is now pocketing his phone. “He’s right, you know,” he starts, watching Soonyoung try to figure out who Minghao’s referring to. “We could be doing a lot worse. Junnie could also be in _your_ lap instead.”

“Ugh, you guys are the worst kind of couple,” Soonyoung groans as he swipes a hand at the closest of Junhui’s calves.

“Like you and Jihoonie were any better during our movie outing,” Junhui counters, voice slightly muffled. “Wonwoo is still upset you ruined a visit to his favorite restaurant like that.”

“Moon Junhwi, don’t you dare…” Soonyoung starts.

“I have photo evidence, _HaoHao_ saw it!”

“You just have one selfie, you have _nothing!”_

“Then should I recount exactly what happened before said selfie?”

“Moon Junhwi, as team leader, I’m demanding your complete silence…” 

“Guys, no fighting in front of Chan!” Minghao finally yells out. All three of them look up at Chan, who has since finished his briefing with the choreographer and is standing over them, looking down with judgment. 

“I actually hate all of you,” he says with more tiredness than bitterness in his voice. “Come, I have a formation idea I wanna get your opinions on.”

Chan’s idea is pretty solid, they make a few tweaks here and there according to the choreographer’s notes and Soonyoung’s additions. They run through it a couple of times until they’re all comfortable with it. 

Soonyoung calls another break so Minghao slumps himself against one of the wall mirrors and watches as Junhui consults with the choreographer. He’s too far to hear what they’re talking about and Minghao’s a little confused since Junhui had a pretty good grasp on the moves when they were running through it.

From what it looks like he’s doing, Junhui’s asking how to make the movements more wispy and light, despite his tall frame. When Minghao thinks about it, that _has been_ one of Junhui’s favorite styles. He watches Junhui go over those with the choreographer for a while, focusing on the motions.

Click.

Minghao turns and sees Soonyoung sitting beside him, lowering his phone and snickering. “What are you laughing about?” When did he even get there?

Soonyoung shows Minghao the latest picture in his camera roll. “Look at your face,” he says with a grin.

And there, on Soonyoung’s screen, is Minghao watching Junhui going over his movements that happened not two minutes ago. For his convenience, Soonyoung zooms into Minghao’s face, eyes full of awe and concentration. 

Minghao quickly laughs and shoves Soonyoung a little. “So? It’s a nice face, right?” He’s slightly embarrassed but he can’t let Soonyoung know about it.

“You literally have heart eyes, it’s cute. I already sent it to Jeonghan,” Soonyoung replies, tapping at his screen before showing his yellow chat history with Jeonghan.

“Did you really have to caption it like that?”

“Why? What’s wrong with it?”

“You said ‘they’re really like this in public in front of my salad’... ” Minghao recites dryly.

Soonyoung turns the phone back to himself. “Well, you are!”

Minghao pats Soonyoung’s shoulder. “You act like we were making out in front of you,” he says, partially mocking. “I’m just watching him practice a dance.”

“Sure,” Soonyoung says, tone high, as he walks back to the middle of the practice room.

The rest of the brainstorming experimenting session goes well. The choreographer gives some final refinements and suggestions in there for if they plan to use the moves for the whole group. Soonyoung’s notepad has filled with notes for about half of a song. 

“Okay, we’ll continue this tomorrow. You worked hard!” Soonyoung calls, bowing to the choreographer and the rest of the staff.

When they get back to the dorm at a disgusting hour of the night, Minghao spots Jeonghan as he’s coming out of his room. Jeonghan immediately grins and mouths ‘ _how did it go?_ ’. Minghao isn’t sure he means the choreography brainstorming so he tilts his head curiously at him.

Jeonghan just makes a disgruntled face and keeps walking.

Minghao finishes his shower and lays on his bed, about to take out his book but Junhui strolls in, head focused on the phone screen in his hand. As if on autopilot, Junhui makes his way to Minghao’s bed and lays down beside him, leaning back on the pillow. When Junhui doesn't speak, Minghao takes his book out anyways, bringing his knees up to lean the book against.

The only sounds for the next half hour are Junhui occasionally making _tsk_ noises at his screen and Minghao flipping his pages. 

Junhui eventually tucks his phone under the pillow. “‘Night, _HaoHao_ ,” he says, quickly kissing Minghao’s forehead and lays down on his back. 

Minghao just giggles. “Goodnight, Jun-ah,” he says and continues reading. He’s relieved at how normal this feels; he didn’t realize how much these small things were a big part of his routine until Junhui stopped doing them. Junhui still hasn’t asked Minghao about his feelings at all; Minghao still thinks about it sometimes, wondering how Junhui can be okay with it after how upset he initially was about it. It makes him feel a little guilty, like he hasn’t been doing enough for Junhui.

Minghao realizes he’s been staring at the same page for a while without actually reading anything, so he puts the book away, turns the light off and lays down beside Junhui, watching the older boy. Maybe the fight was a good thing, a wake-up call for Minghao that he can’t just keep doing things on his own and expecting Junhui to accept them without communicating more with him. Maybe one more layer of the wall is finally crumbling away.


	5. August and September

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that Junhui and Minghao have (mostly) settled their concerns, they get dragged into another couple's business (everyone's favorite side couple comes back and how the turn tables)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> timeline-wise, there is slight overlap between the narrative blurb + the first scene here with the Performance Team scene from the last chapter, as in they take place within in the same group of days (very tail end of July), in case that gets confusing. they don't conflict, it's just something to note.  
> this chapter is about 15k words but the alternative was splitting off into separate chapters again, which I didn't want to do so... enjoy~!  
> warnings: I'm once again sorry about Mingyu but for different reasons this time (also everyone say thank you Mingyu)

Unfortunately for Minghao, the other thing that’s happened since the day of his and Junhui’s long talk is that Mingyu’s decided to invite himself to Minghao’s room whenever he’s feeling distressed about Wonwoo. 

Minghao guesses it’s because that was also the day Mingyu had first come in and told Minghao about his feelings for Wonwoo over however-many glasses of wine. But that's not the most important thing that happened to Minghao that day so that's not how he chooses to remember it.

Generally, no, Minghao doesn’t mind hearing his friend out because why else would they be friends? It’s the “inviting himself to Minghao’s room” part he's starting to have an issue with, especially since it’s been ongoing for a little over a week now.

Sure, Junhui’s been inviting himself to Minghao’s room for months (which Minghao has missed in the time they were giving each other space) but Junhui has special boyfriend privileges that Mingyu doesn’t. When Minghao told him this, Mingyu argued that Minghao’s room is safe since it’s a solo room, on a floor away from Wonwoo, Mingyu’s his best friend, _and_ he's in crisis.

(“I thought _I_ was your best friend?” Junhui had asked in a small voice.

“We’ve been over this, Jun-ah. You’re my best friend and my boyfriend that I make out with. And Mingyu’s my best friend that’s an idiot,” Minghao replied with a fond smile and a gentle pat to Junhui’s cheek, habitually wiping some crumbs from the corner of his mouth.

“I am literally right here,” Mingyu said dryly from his spot on the floor.

Minghao didn’t even look at him. “Yeah, well, you shouldn’t be.” )

At first, Junhui didn’t say anything since he knows how close Minghao and Mingyu are. The first few visits, Junhui just said ‘okay’ and left the room to give them privacy whenever Mingyu barged in to say some variation of ‘I need to talk to Myungho’. 

But he finally asked Minghao about it after that time Junhui had gone to Minghao’s room, as usual, but found Mingyu waiting on Minghao’s bed while Minghao was finishing a shower. It was _not_ a situation Minghao thought he’d ever be having with his boyfriend. (He never wants to hear Junhui say _‘HaoHao,_ why do you have another man that’s not me waiting for you after you shower?’ ever again, even as a joke.)

After chasing Mingyu out, Minghao tells Junhui about his best friend’s crush dilemma. But, out of some sense of guilt towards Mingyu, he doesn’t mention that the crush is on Wonwoo, just says that Mingyu’s in a lot of distress over it and needs someone to talk to. Technically, he knows it’s more than a crush since Mingyu was pretty sure he specified “having romantic feelings”, but calling it a crush just seemed easier for now. 

Either way, Junhui just accepts this and doesn’t bother asking who it is, which Minghao is thankful for. He figures Junhui’s loyalty to Wonwoo means he would either probably outright tell Wonwoo immediately, or at the very least, drop him the least subtle hints ever to try and help. 

Minghao briefly worries that just telling Junhui that the crush exists is a bad enough betrayal of Mingyu’s trust; telling Junhui _everything_ about the crush would probably upset Mingyu even more.

However, the next evening, Minghao is sitting against the headboard on his bed with Junhui, who’s staring at the door like he’s anticipating something.

“Jun-ah, what are you—”

“Shh,” Junhui urges. “For some reason, it always happens when…” And then there’s a hand on Minghao’s thigh. When nothing happens, Junhui frowns and Minghao can’t help but laugh watching him. Until Junhui leans close and starts mouthing and nipping at a spot near Minghao’s ear.

“Junnie…” It comes out a bit breathier than he wanted but he doesn’t care.

Then the door opens. “Myungho!” _Dammit._

“It’s like he can sense it,” Junhui says in a low amused tone near his ear, smiling against Minghao’s skin and he pulls back quickly. “There he is. Mingyu!” he exclaims, smiling wide and gesturing to the bean bag chair. “Sit.” 

Minghao covers his face and groans into his hands. He would’ve found it funny how Junhui's guess was correct, but he hates that it basically means he’s going to keep getting interrupted by his best friend.

Meanwhile, Mingyu looks mildly worried before doing what he’s been told, his large frame looking a bit awkward in Minghao’s bean bag chair. He experimentally folds his legs about before deciding it’s not comfortable and just crosses them in front of him. Once he’s settled, he urgently looks at Minghao for any explanation but since Minghao is just as confused, he shrugs. 

The last time Junhui gave an order to sit, it didn’t end well for him. So no, he doesn’t want to get involved. Especially when he still thinks he’s on thin ice for it.

Junhui slips off the bed to sit cross-legged on the floor in front of Mingyu, grabbing his hands and smiling warmly. “It’s okay, Mingyu, you’re here about your crush problem, right? I want to help, so I’m here for you.” Technically, Junhui was here to spend time with Minghao and no, Minghao is totally not bitter that they’re doing this instead. Nope. Not at all. Absolutely goddamn not.

“You _told_ him?” Mingyu’s whiny protest cuts through Minghao’s thoughts and looks over to see the taller boy staring right at him with a pout.

“Okay, in my defense,” Minghao starts forcefully, “you put me in a weird position. As much as I don’t mind helping you, if you’re going to keep coming in my room, particularly when I’m _with my boyfriend,_ then said boyfriend at least deserves to know why.” He just didn’t know what Junhui was going to do with that information, especially not… whatever this is.

“Aww, _HaoHao!”_ Junhui coos at him with a beaming grin.

Mingyu just rolls his eyes and looks away. “Ugh, you guys are like, disgustingly cute.”

“Thank you!” Junhui chirps, particularly cheery. “We try.”

Minghao clears his throat, momentarily caught off-guard and feeling himself flush. “Y-yes, well. If it makes you feel any better, Mingyu, I didn’t say who it was. I didn’t think it was my place.” It’s only _partially_ true, but it sounds convincing enough that they both seem to accept it.

Junhui wiggles their arms to get Mingyu's attention back. “So this person you like, do you two talk often?” he asks cheerily. 

“I-I guess? We’re pretty close…” Mingyu mutters nervously, looking everywhere except Junhui’s eyes. Then, all of a sudden, he looks up at Minghao again to telepathically ask for help. Minghao takes in Mingyu’s state and quickly stifles a laugh. “Ow! Junnie, w— it’s not Myungho, I promise!” 

“Ah, yes, of course.” Junhui smiles brightly and Minghao looks down at where their hands were joined. The sides of Mingyu’s hands have slight fingernail marks in them.

Huh. Minghao has an odd sense of deja vu. This must be something Junhui picked up from Jisoo. He reaches down to gently rub the back of Junhui’s neck. “Jun-ah, it’s not me.” 

Junhui just raises his eyebrows at him that Minghao reads as _‘pft, I know’,_ before turning back to Mingyu. “So you’re close and you talk a lot. What’s the main issue you’re having then?” he asks curiously. “Do they like someone else?”

Mingyu’s eyes widen like he hadn’t considered that possibility. “I-I’m actually not sure. I haven’t asked him.”

“Oh, it’s a guy,” Junhui mutters softly to himself, nodding. 

“I—” Mingyu starts. “Sorry, Junnie. I appreciate you wanting to help, but do you mind if I just talk to Myungho about it? I kinda feel awkward…” Now Minghao starts feeling bad that he told Junhui about the crush, judging by how uncomfortable Mingyu looks. Like a child pleading with their older sibling not to snitch on them to their parents. 

Junhui nods. “I mind,” he asserts boldly, startling the other two. 

Minghao guesses Junhui’s bothered by how much Mingyu keeps taking Minghao away to talk about his crush, but he didn’t need Junhui to protect him from his own best friend. “Jun-ah, it’s okay.” 

_“HaoHao…_ please.” Junhui’s words come out far more serious and earnestly than Minghao expected. Junhui keeps staring right up at him and after a few moments, Minghao starts to understand. 

Junhui’s not acting like this because he’s annoyed about Mingyu coming in and is now marking his territory; Junhui sympathizes with Mingyu because of his own crush all those months back. He probably knows everything about how Mingyu might be feeling. He wants to help Mingyu navigate through it and support him so it doesn’t turn into a weird mess like theirs was.

Minghao tightens his lips together and starts nodding. “Okay.” He kisses Junhui’s forehead and stands up. “I’ll leave you guys to it.” If Junhui’s going to talk about his crush on Minghao from way before, he’s not sure if the older boy would want him there to hear about it. Especially after what happened when Jisoo tried to talk about it in the restaurant.

“Wait, what? What just happened?” Mingyu pipes up, looking between them in confusion. “You guys said like, two words and I feel like I missed a whole conversation.”

“It’s just as he said, Junnie’s going to help you. I’m giving you guys privacy,” Minghao answers, flicking his phone screen on for a split second to check the time before pocketing it. 

“You don’t have to leave,” Mingyu insists. “Does he, Junnie?” He looks at him pleadingly for permission to let Minghao stay. He slightly resembles a sad puppy that got its toy taken away, although Minghao doesn’t want to think too hard about the implication of that.

Junhui glances up at Minghao again. “He doesn’t,” he finally answers. “He can, but he doesn’t have to.”

Minghao looks between them for a few seconds. Junhui’s okay with this? With letting him know the worries he was embarrassed about before? 

He kneels down at an angle behind Junhui, draping over his back and leaning a chin on his boyfriend’s shoulder. “Go ahead, Mingyu.”

Mingyu still looks like he has no idea what just happened. “O-oh, okay, yeah” he stutters again. “Right. Well, we’re close, yeah, but I haven’t really heard him talk about anyone else he likes.” He looks at Junhui sort of anxiously. 

Minghao swears that if Mingyu slips up right now and asks Junhui if _he’s_ heard Wonwoo talk about liking someone else, he _will_ have to hit him.

Junhui just tilts his head sympathetically. “Are you worried about what would happen if he did and he’s not telling you?” Mingyu looks pensive for a bit and then nods quickly. Junhui smiles fondly, looking down for a bit. “Ah. Yeah, I worried a lot about that stuff with Myungho before too.”

Mingyu’s expression softens and it seems now he understands why Junhui wanted to talk to him. “What did you do?”

“Probably a lot of what you’re doing. Overthinking scenarios in my head, thinking that if we were really close, he’d tell me if he liked someone else, right? What would happen to me if it was true? I’d be okay if he did, wouldn’t I? Would it just be better to not say anything? All those things, right?”

While Mingyu nods somewhat enthusiastically, Minghao lets out a nervous sigh and uses the arm he slung over Junhui’s shoulder to hug his neck.

“I kept them mostly to myself and even bugged Shua for a while,” Junhui continues, patting Minghao’s arm. “I thought I could deal with my feelings by not being around Myungho so I avoided him for a while. But then he called me out and asked why. It made me realize I was also affecting him, he was still my friend but I wasn’t acting like it.” 

Mingyu lets out a small chuckle and nods a couple times.

Junhui pauses for a bit, letting out a small chuckle. “Okay so, this might sound weird but you might know what I mean. Sometimes I felt like I was sneaking around, like I wasn't being honest with him. And it was really hard because all I could think about, and all I wanted to do, was tell him how I felt but for some reason, I couldn’t.” 

Minghao shifts and leans his forehead against Junhui’s shoulder to avoid letting either of them see his face, taking a deep breath.

“I kept thinking about all these things about how he would react, you know, like if he would hate me or not want to see me again or would we still be friends? All the ones in your head that you know sound ridiculous and don’t make sense, but you can’t help but worry anyway?” Junhui asks in a bit of a ramble and Minghao looks up, seeing Mingyu smile in understanding and nod some more.

“So I think…” he trails off, staring at an odd spot past Mingyu’s shoulder. Minghao leans forward a bit to look at him and keeps hugging his neck. “Well, I think it’s good you’re not carrying these things all by yourself since you have Myungho. But I also think you should think about what the guy really means to you, if it’s worth going after, if this is what you really want, and if you would be okay even if it might not go well. 

“And when you figure that out, since you’re close, I also think you should talk to him, make it clear that you have feelings for him and trust him,” Junhui finishes with a nod and a smile. 

Mingyu absorbs this, looking pensive again before he mirrors the gesture. “Thank you, Junnie.”

Minghao has to let go when Junhui leans forward to pull Mingyu into a hug, slightly awkward due to the crossed-legs situation but they make it happen. Minghao watches Mingyu over Junhui’s shoulder; he’s pretty sure he might’ve blurted out _‘Junhui, marry me’_ on the spot if Mingyu weren’t right there.

But Mingyu _is_ here and the hug has been longer than four counts, so Minghao settles for flicking his forehead. “Okay, that’s enough, get off him now,” he grumbles dryly. Junhui just laughs and lets Mingyu go.

“Ow! You guys are like, _weirdly_ disgustingly cute,” Mingyu murmurs, rubbing the sore spot as he pulls away. “I’m kind of jealous but at the same time grossed out.”

“If you’re so grossed out, then leave!” Minghao half-yells, also half-serious, as he stands up, pointing to the door.

Mingyu purses his lips in thought as he also stands. “Hmm, I’m getting the feeling I’m not wanted here…” 

_“Ai—”_ Minghao _tsks_ to himself. 

Junhui, on the other hand, puts his hands on Mingyu’s shoulders when he stands up. “Are you okay now? Do you feel better? Did that help at all?”

Mingyu beams fondly at Junhui, nodding. “Very much so, thanks again, Junnie.” He has the audacity to hug Junhui again now that they’re standing, smug face and all. Minghao just groans, walking around the bed while glaring at Mingyu. “I can’t believe I didn’t come to you earlier.”

Minghao gives Mingyu a scandalized look because, _oh my god,_ Mingyu should know _exactly_ why he didn’t come to Junhui earlier. 

“Aw, no problem, Mingyu-yah. I know what it’s like,” Junhui says soothingly into the hug. “Hope it goes okay.”

“Thanks, Junnie.” And Minghao doesn’t know what they’re doing now but he’s not fond of this hug, nor Mingyu’s smug face during it.

“Jun-ah. Sleep.” He tucks himself in the bed with a huff, probably a bit too forcefully, facing away from them.

He hears Junhui laugh again and then steps moving about on the floor. “Bye Myungho!” Mingyu’s voice calls out. He just grunts back and waits for the door to click shut before Junhui starts laughing. Minghao doesn’t want to respond until he feels Junhui lay down behind him.

“For the record, when he came in here to talk about his crush before, he mostly would just tell me about how cute or pretty he thought the guy was.” Minghao stops himself before mentioning that one of the things was how Mingyu gushed about Wonwoo with glasses. He feels like even just mentioning glasses would be too dangerous.

“Oh…” Junhui’s voice deflates. “Do you think I went too serious then?” he asks in a small voice.

Minghao tosses around to face Junhui. “Well, he did also worry a lot about how to approach the guy since he was scared of ruining their friendship, so I thought what you said was great. Thanks for helping him.”

“Of course _you’d_ like it.” Junhui rolls his eyes, smiling. 

This time, Minghao plants a kiss on Junhui’s forehead. “I’m serious, though.”

Junhui just covers his face with his hands and starts giggling. “Ah,” he says after a few sputters, “I’m so embarrassed.” He flops onto his back and kicks his legs around.

“Why? It’s just me,” Minghao asks in a small voice.

_“HaoHao,_ please. You know why,” he replies flatly.

Oh. _Right._ Minghao just clears his throat and gently pries Junhui’s hands away from his face. “Yeah, I know.” He quickly lands another kiss on Junhui’s nose.

“I do have a question though.” Junhui folds his hands over his chest, staring at the ceiling and Minghao just grunts for him to continue, nervous. “I didn’t get to ask before, but why _did_ you try to deal with everything on your own? I just remembered when I mentioned it to Mingyu.”

“Ah, uh, l-like my feelings and everything?”

“Yeah, you said that day with Jeonghannie was the first time. So that means for the other five months we’ve been together, you didn’t say anything to anyone? Not even to Mingyu or anyone else?”

Minghao just blinks a couple of times, mouth open. He’s not exactly sure of the answer either. The times he did mention anything about their relationship to anyone before were because Hansol and Jeonghan approached _him._ “I uh, I don’t really know. It kind of just happened like that.”

Junhui tosses over to look at him, eyes particularly large and lips pouting. “But that must have been so hard! Why didn’t you say anything?” Junhui quickly shakes his head. “I don’t mean just to me, just to, like, anyone at all. Like if you had said you were talking to like, Jihoonie, I would be like ‘oh okay’ because at least it’s _someone_ but then now you’re saying you weren’t and it’s just—”

Minghao quickly puts a hand on Junhui’s shoulder to calm him down since he knows Junhui has a tendency to ramble like this if he gets particularly nervous or worked up about something. He keeps nodding and smiling at Junhui, who understands and takes a deep breath, nodding along with him.

The simple answer is ‘I didn’t think I had to’, which just reminds him of the exact reason for the fight. _‘I didn’t think I had to tell you how I feel, I thought you already knew.’_ Minghao doesn’t _want_ to be reminded of that, of Junhui pointing out that Minghao’s inability to say things is a hindrance to them.

But the alternative is lying to Junhui, making up some reason that _sounds_ somewhat noble to save face and not deal with that again. 

“Okay so,” he starts, voice low and a bit shaky, scrunching his eyes shut. “So, uh… the thing about that is uh….”

“Um, _HaoHao?_ Can you please stop doing that?” His voice is gentle and fond and not what Minghao was expecting.

“Uh, doing what?” He opens his eyes and dares himself to look at Junhui.

“You always seem sort of panicky whenever I try to ask you something, and then you answer like you think you’re going to get in trouble, like you’re scared of me.” Junhui’s expression is particularly hurt as he says this and Minghao really is an idiot, isn’t he? 

“Junnie, I’m sorry. I didn’t even know I was doing it—”

“That just makes it worse!” 

So not only is Minghao worried that Junhui will somehow ask him something related to his feelings, but he can’t even _say_ that’s why he’s always so worried. And then all of it just made Junhui think that Minghao is scared of him and, likely, doesn’t trust him, which, you know, isn’t a nice feeling because he’s basically hurting Junhui. 

And that’s the exact thing Minghao has been trying to avoid.

But it’s just great, everything’s great, it’s _all just great._ “Junnie, you know that I trust you, like probably more than anyone, and I want to be able to tell you everything, I really do, it’s just that I _can’t_ right now, and I’m sorry, I promise I’m working on it, I just don’t want you to be mad or anything but I still—” 

“Oh my god! No, wait, _HaoHao,_ please don’t cry! I’m sorry,” Junhui says with a small panicked whine, gently swiping at Minghao’s eyes with his thumb. Minghao didn’t even realize he started crying. “I’m not mad, I just don’t like you thinking that you would somehow get in trouble if you said something to me. Oh no, I broke you,” he continues in a cooing ramble, cupping Minghao’s tear-stained cheeks in his palms and quickly kisses his forehead.

Minghao just sniffles. “You’re not going to get mad at my answers?”

“Why would I get mad? We agreed to tell each other about our concerns, didn’t we?” Junhui asks with a pout before straightening his neck and grinning. “Go ahead, tell me all your ugly answers! I can’t really promise I won’t get mad, but I promise that even if I do, I’ll still come back to you.”

Oh, _no._ Minghao cries a bit more, sniffling a few times as Junhui’s thumbs take turns brushing off oncoming tears. It takes a few minutes for him to calm down, with Junhui placing occasional kisses on his forehead to try and help, and Minghao covers Junhui’s hands with his own. 

“So about me not talking to anyone about my feelings for months before Jeonghannie…” he starts slowly and Junhui starts nodding enthusiastically. “My ugly answer is that I didn’t think I had to. I — It didn’t really occur to me for some reason.”

Junhui looks at him a little pitifully again as he pauses for a bit. “Why would I get mad about that?” he eventually asks in a soft voice, almost a whisper.

Minghao pouts. “B-because it’s like what you said during the fight that day, you were right that I didn’t tell y—”

“I don’t care about being right.” Junhui cuts in, looking a little disgusted. “I care that you were dealing with everything by yourself. I mean, I don’t totally blame you for not going to me, but at least I had Shua. And Mingyu has you now, but you…. You really thought you had to handle it all on your own. It must’ve been so hard, it kinda hurts for me to think about.”

Minghao nods a couple times, sniffling and trying to smile reassuringly. “It’s okay, it turned out okay.”

“You’re literally crying right now.”

“Right…” Minghao looks away, shy.

Junhui lets out a sigh through his nose and guides Minghao’s head back so he can press a soft kiss against Minghao’s lips. It’s sweet and gentle and it helps Minghao calm down even more.

“So you’re done doing that now?” Junhui asks quietly as he pulls back only a few inches.

“Yeah, um, Jeonghannie talked some sense into me.”

Junhui smiles as his thumbs brush away at another set of tears before he says, “Remind me to buy him a meal then. I do have another question, though, and please don’t panic this time.” Minghao sniffles again as he nods. “Why are you so scared of me being mad?” He takes his hands away from Minghao’s face.

Minghao’s hands replace Junhui’s in holding his own cheeks, taking a deep breath and feeling something pressing on his chest. “I l— I don’t want you to leave again.” He covers his face and he doesn’t know why it hurts _so much_ when he says that.

“You think I’m going to get so mad over something and leave you?” 

That’s what it boils down to, isn’t it? Thinking that Junhui will up and leave when he realizes he deserves better than someone who can’t even tell him how they feel? Minghao nods. After that week of giving each other space on not-so-great terms, he doesn’t think he can do something like that again. He doesn’t want to.

Junhui sighs again, peeling Minghao’s hands off his face. “What am I going to do with you?” he asks in a quiet amused tone and holds Minghao’s hands in his. “It’s like you don’t listen to me all those times I say I would still pick you and come back to you if I get mad. No? None of this sounds familiar?”

An embarrassed whine leaves Minghao’s throat as he weakly hits Junhui on the arm. “I don’t know, I guess it’s like what you told Mingyu, ‘those thoughts that you know sound ridiculous and don’t make sense, but you can’t help but worry anyway?’”

“Oh, so you _do_ listen to me.” Junhui laughs, playfully shoving Minghao a little. 

Minghao shoves him back, muttering back an “Of course I do,” and eventually, they fall into silence for a good twenty minutes, aside from Minghao’s occasional sniffles, staring at the ceiling again.

When Minghao leans up on his elbow and looks over at Junhui to ask his own question, he sees that the older boy has fallen asleep. Right, Junhui can sleep easily whenever there's enough of a lull, the lucky bastard. 

Minghao wipes any of his remaining tears on his sleeve and gently brushes some hair from Junhui’s face. He's not sure what propels him to do so but he caresses the back of his finger down Junhui’s cheek, and it’s only a few moments later that he catches himself staring _a bit_ too long. He quickly gets up to find a tissue box to finally blow his nose before sneaking back on the bed, hoping the movement doesn’t stir Junhui too much.

_Good night, Jun-ah._

* * *

August

The rest of the week is a blur of Performance Team meetings and Mingyu visits. Except now, even though Mingyu always bursts in specifically calling for Minghao’s help, he actually wants Junhui to stay in the room while he talks about the conflicting feelings he has about Wonwoo. Minghao is actually impressed by how he’s able to pull it off without mentioning a name, since Mingyu mostly focuses on the feelings aspect and some descriptions like “he’s so cute”, among others that Minghao doesn’t want to think about.

It goes well, for the most part, as Junhui echoes off suggestions that Minghao is guessing have come from Jisoo before, while Minghao likes to push the “you need to talk to each other” angle that he’s taken a liking to since his conversation with Jeonghan.

In one of their chats, Mingyu mentions the day of 96-line movie outing to Junhui, citing it as the day he first told Minghao about his feelings (trying to imply he would’ve told Junhui if he weren’t out at the movie as a save to avoid mentioning he would’ve taken tried to watch movies with Wonwoo if it weren’t for that) and Minghao remembers something.

During the next Performance Team choreography session, Minghao approaches Soonyoung, the boy on the floor crouched over his notebook, drawing little circles and arrows about.

Carefully, he sits beside his team leader and leans a head on his shoulder.

“Yes, Myungho, how can I help you?” Soonyoung says in an even tone, free hand coming up to pet his head as he scribbles a note next to one of his arrows.

“I wanted to ask you something. Not dance related.”

“You picked an odd time but sure.”

Minghao clears his throat. “Can you tell me what happened with you and Jihoonie on that 96-line movie outing a few days back?”

Soonyoung’s pencil stops. “What did Jun tell you?”

“Nothing much, just that he and Wonwoo felt like they were on the sidelines of a date at some points,” Minghao recites in a low voice, looking over at Chan and Junhui experimenting with some moves in the mirror. 

“Ah, okay,” Soonyoung mutters to himself, pencil moving again to label another circle.

“I’m grateful for whatever it was, though, since he said it’s why he came to see me that night and we actually weren’t doing so well before then,” Minghao adds quickly. “I’m just curious why you made him promise not to tell.” He finishes in a small voice, and when this time, Soonyoung just puts the pencil flat down and inhales sharply, Minghao gets startled and moves off his shoulder.

“He said we made _him_ promise?” Soonyoung asks in disbelief, quickly turning his head to look at him. Minghao nods twice and Soonyoung sighs. “Wh — I… you guys really are the weirdest couple. Super cute, but weird.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Soonyoung looks up at the mirror at Chan and Junhui’s dancing reflections before continuing his notes and shaking his head. “Jihoonie and I didn’t make him promise anything. He made the _three of us_ promise not to talk about it.”

“What? Why?” Minghao asks in a bit more of a pout thank he was aiming for.

“Look, Myungho,” Soonyoung says with another sigh, flipping the page of his notebook to continue drawing, “I wish I could tell you but Junnie has too much on me that I’m not going to risk it. You can probably figure it out though.”

Minghao’s jaw drops. “But, team leader!” He actually starts pouting. “What about that spat you got into with him about the selfie? You didn’t want him to say anything.”

“That’s not related. Well, sorta, I’m not sure with Jun. But the stuff before the selfie was mostly about Jihoonie that he’s uh, reserved about and I gotta protect that,” Soonyoung answers distractedly and picks up the notebook to show Minghao. “What do you think of this?”

Minghao is a little bitter by how easily he got distracted, but it’s dance so what can he do? Besides, he was lucky to get that much out of Soonyoung during a choreo and dance planning session. He drops the topic for the rest of the session, mind too focused on all the moves and practice anyways.

While leaving the studio, Junhui tells Minghao to go ahead without him since he has a vocal lesson right after. Despite his confusion after his chat with Soonyoung, he feels much better since all the dancing helped him relieve some stress. 

By the time he gets home, it’s late afternoon about to turn into evening. After his shower, he flops face-first on his bed in his fluffy robe, exhausted. Junhui wouldn’t be back for another two hours or so, so he has time to himself before then, but does he really need to ambush Junhui with what Soonyoung told him today? 

The more he thinks about it, the more the thought of it makes Minghao feel a bit gross, like he’d be going too far into demanding clingy territory. It feels like he’d also be going against everything Jeonghan advised him, constantly thinking about things he shouldn’t and tripping over himself. Junhui didn’t want him to know for a reason so Minghao figures it’s best to forget about it.

The door clicks open. “Junnie! …Oh, it’s just you.”

“Mingyu, this is literally my room, don’t act so surprised that I’m the one here,” Minghao replies in a muffled grunt, barely lifting his head to look at the door.

Mingyu starts pouting and takes a seat in the bean bag chair again. “Yeah, but he’s usually here with you.”

“So when you’ve been coming in my room, were you looking for Junnie specifically or you were looking for me and just accepted that he was here?” 

“I —” Mingyu stops, moving his mouth while not making sounds. “Okay, I know how this is starting to look….”

“You’ve been coming in my room knowing Junnie would most likely be here with me, despite also knowing that you _cannot talk about your crush in front of him because it’s literally on his best friend._ Make it make sense, Mingyu.” Not to mention all the times he’s been trying to make out with Junhui but Mingyu would burst in to interrupt. Minghao is still not bitter. Nope.

“Oh my god, that’s right! I forgot they’re best friends.” Mingyu comes over to sit in the bean bag chair again. “Thanks for not telling him then.”

Minghao lets out an exaggerated groan. “I want to strangle you right now, I really do.” Mingyu is lucky Minghao is basically depleted of energy as he drops his head back into the mattress. 

Mingyu just pats the back of Minghao’s head. “I thought the choreo sessions usually make you _less_ cranky.”

With another tired groan, Minghao swings his arm, trying to swat Mingyu’s hand away. _“You_ make me cranky. I can’t believe you came into my room looking for my boyfriend instead of me.”

“Pft,” Mingyu scoffs, turning away, “you love me.”

“Ugh, unfortunately.”

Mingyu then reaches over and grabs one of the ends of Minghao’s robe sash that was dangling over the edge of the bed. “So how’s stuff with Junnie going?” he asks absent-mindedly, focused on the sash. “You guys still disgustingly cute?”

“We are, thank you very much,” Minghao huffs. He has no intention of mentioning that he cried in front of Junhui the other night, absolutely not. “He’s at vocal lessons, if you’re actually still looking for him.” 

Mingyu just hums, still sounding distracted.

Minghao clears his throat. “Mingyu, you’re obviously trying to fish for something. No need to beat around the bush, what do you want to tell me?” he says cautiously.

“I uh, I did what Junnie said, I thought a lot about it.” Mingyu starts nodding a bunch of times, like he’s psyching himself up. “I’m going to ask Wonwoo out.”

“That’s great!” Minghao exclaims with a bright smile, exerting enough effort to clap a hand at Mingyu’s back. “Good luck.”

Mingyu clears his throat. “Thanks….”

“You still sound unsure about something.”

“I’m just nervous. What if he says no? It’s been hard to spend time with him lately. He’s always with Shua and Junnie when I look for him,” Mingyu mumbles grumpily. 

Minghao actually isn’t sure how good he is at this. Previously, Mingyu mostly just vented everything without really looking for a solution; Minghao was great at listening. Telling Mingyu what to do about most things? Also fine. Telling Mingyu what to do about romantic prospects? Not so much. 

“If he says no, then he says no,” he says cautiously, watching as Mingyu frowns. “But then at least you would’ve told him and you wouldn’t be carrying around these feelings anymore. At least he’ll know. You’re close so he’ll be respectful, just make sure you are too.”

“I guess,” Mingyu replies with a long sad sigh. He looks like he’s seriously thinking for a while before he says, “Yeah. Yeah, you’re right. Thanks, Myungho!”

“You’re welcome. You’ll be fine.”

Another silence falls between them for a few moments and Minghao pushes himself up, leaning on his elbows. “Hey Mingyu?”

“Yeah?”

Minghao purses his lips for a second. “I really love Junnie.”

There’s a brief pause and Minghao watches Mingyu to check his reaction. Mingyu slowly turns to look at him, looking slightly confused. “I know you do, buddy,” he says with a nervous smile and an odd tone, like Minghao just told him rain is wet. “But it’s nice to hear you say, I guess.”

It’s not quite the reaction Minghao was expecting so neither speak for another few seconds before Minghao’s defenses kick in and he reaches for a pillow to smack Mingyu’s face. “What do you mean, _you know?”_

Mingyu starts laughing. “You literally damaged my forehead when I hugged him, how do you not think you’re obvious?”

“You’re actually so dramatic, it was just a finger flick.”

“Yeah, but you have martial arts training and my face is my actual source of income.”

“Don’t hug him for too long then!”

“Stop being a jealous baby then!”

Minghao lands another hit to Mingyu’s face with the pillow before putting it under his chin. “Ugh, I really hate you sometimes.”

Mingyu just snickers. “Love you too, weirdo.”

“Disgusting.” Minghao huffs, dropping his head back on the bed. Mingyu just pats him on the back and he thinks Mingyu starts talking again but he can’t focus on the words as the exhaustion kicks in and he slowly gets swallowed by sleep.

\------

When Minghao wakes up the next morning, he takes note of two things: first, he’s actually laying in the bed correctly when he’s pretty sure he was last laying across it, and second, he’s alone. Usually Junhui is here waking him up or vice versa. He scrambles to get up and checks his phone, finding messages from both Junhui and Mingyu.

**Junjunjun:** lol there are other ways of telling me u don’t want me to sleep in your room than hogging the entire bed

**Junjunjun:** it’s ok u looked like u were sleeping so soundly i couldn’t bring myself to wake u and make u move (♡°▽°♡)

**Junjunjun:** but i did move u so u wouldn’t get sore later. I didn’t stay since i wasn’t sure if i was allowed when u weren’t awake lol seungkwannie was so surprised i came back u should’ve seen his face

Minghao frowns, a little sad that Junhui chose not to stay in his room, despite the attached selfie Junhui sent of him next to a disgruntled-looking Seungkwan. It’s cute but Seungkwan’s expression is clearly too staged to be the one Junhui’s referring to. He looks at the newest message from six minutes ago.

**Junjunjun:** if you’re looking for me today i’m with wonu and shua (o˘◡˘o) we’re working on our hush-hush project~

**Me:** jun-ah you’re always allowed to stay in my room. don’t do that again (￣^￣)ゞ

**Me:** have fun with your project. work hard. tell them i said hi

He’s picking out which sticker he wants to send and is surprised when Junhui quickly replies.

**Junjunjun:** don’t move you again? but haohao your back! Σ(°△°|||)

**Junjunjun:** wonu says hi, shua says ‘hi eisa ilu and I’m happy for u guys but please stop distracting junnie’ so gotta go ─=≡Σ((( つ≧ω≦)つ

**Me:** I meant don’t not stay jun-ah, I want you to stay. thanks for moving me (￣▽￣)

Minghao doesn’t really expect a response but lets himself be a little disappointed anyway when Junhui doesn’t send one. He checks his messages from Mingyu.

**Kim [dog emoji]:** u really fell asleep when i’m pouring my heart out to u wow

**Kim [dog emoji]:** best friend card revoked

**Kim [dog emoji]:** jk i wasn’t actually saying anything. toad.

**Kim [dog emoji]:** btw I told junnie

**Me:** who is this

**Me:** but i’m glad you told junnie. good luck with wonwoo

He attaches a confident-looking sticker and sighs, putting his phone on his side table and picks out an outfit for his individual dance lesson for the day. T-shirt, track pants and bucket hat never steered him wrong before, so why stop now?

Minghao’s individual dance lesson ran for about seven hours today and it’s still decently early in the evening when he leaves the studio. On the way back, he goes into a clothing store and picks out a black casual button-up shirt a few sizes bigger than his frame. Plastic bag in hand, he can’t help grinning as he makes his way back to the dorm.

When he opens his door to his room, he’s greeted with the sight of Junhui sitting on the bed, legs dangling over the edge and scrolling through his phone.

“Jun-ah!” Minghao exclaims, relieved. He nudges the door closed with his foot and tosses his bucket hat in the bean bag chair. He then pulls the shirt out of the plastic bag, letting it drop to the floor unceremoniously as he makes his way over to his boyfriend, holding the shirt open by the shoulders.

Junhui looks up and sputters out some confused noises as Minghao holds the shirt against his front. “What’s this, what’s going on?”

“I got you this,” Minghao chimes happily, sitting on the edge of the bed in front of Junhui. “I was a _bit_ worried about the size but I think I know you by now.” He holds up the shirt again to make sure.

A grin creeps on Junhui’s face. “You got this for me?” he echoes, still in disbelief. Minghao nods proudly, passing the shirt over. “Thank you, what’s the occasion?” He starts inspecting it before undoing the buttons to try it on.

“I know you have a lot of white shirts and I wanted to see you try a look with this.”

Junhui stands up, putting it on over his current t-shirt. “But you know I can still just wear a white t-shirt under this, right? Like if I don’t button it up?”

Minghao scoffs and waves a dismissive hand. “Yeah, but it will still be mostly a black look.”

Junhui buttons it up and starts turning to check the movement. Overall, the shirt is still slightly loose on him, but not overly so, and Minghao is trying very hard to resist tucking the ends into Junhui’s pants for a better aesthetic but it’s fine.

“I was thinking you could wear it when you perform your piece with Wonwoo and Shua,” Minghao says, standing to join Junhui and make adjustments.

“Ah, so that’s your angle,” Junhui replies, still smiling. Minghao hums as he pinches at the tops of the shoulders to adjust the fit and Junhui lets him, even when he starts folding up the sleeves halfway up his forearms and brushing away at mostly imaginary dust. “Satisfied?” Junhui holds his arms out and then starts doing various poses.

Minghao backs up and thinks it over, nodding. “But how’s it feel? It’s comfortable and everything?” It’s mostly a rhetorical question, since he can see for himself how it fits and how baggy it is, but he wants to ask anyway. In the midst of Junhui’s posing, Minghao takes out his phone and quickly snaps a few pictures

Junhui giggles a little. “Yes, _HaoHao,_ you picked the size well. I love it, thank you. I’ll definitely wear it.” He gestures for Minghao to pass him his own phone, which he uses to open the camera app in selfie mode to look at himself. He messes with his hair a little before taking a few shots that Minghao definitely joins in on. 

When he’s satisfied, Junhui pockets his phone and starts undoing the buttons but then pauses. He holds his arms open, gesturing Minghao to him. Curious, Minghao goes over and Junhui sweeps him up in a warm hug, rubbing his back. 

When Minghao tries pulling back after a few seconds, thinking the hug is over, Junhui just keeps a firm hold around him. It lasts for far longer than Minghao expected, but it’s so warm and affectionate and _absolutely Junhui_ that Minghao doesn’t mind, letting himself close his eyes over Junhui’s shoulder, despite his heartbeat going particularly crazy. 

Finally Junhui lets go, pulling back and beaming. “Thank you, _HaoHao.”_

Minghao clears his throat. “I um, I’m glad you like it. You'll let me style you, right?” he asks, remembering the question he was going to ask before the hug happened. He decides to finish unbuttoning the rest of Junhui’s shirt himself.

“Of course, I don't see how I wouldn't, you're really good at it. But you know this is most likely just a project for fun? We might not even film anything for it or use it on stages.” 

Minghao nods, helping Junhui shrug off the shirt. “But you'll still perform it in front of the rest of us, won't you?”

“Ah, so I'll wear it then. Okay,” Junhui agrees easily. He seems surprised when Minghao takes the shirt from his hands and just tosses it into the bean bag chair to join the bucket hat. “Don't I have to bring that to Mingyu for washing?”

“Do it later,” Minghao replies with another hand wave, pulling Junhui’s hands to lead him back to sit on the bed. “I want you to tell me about how your project is going.”

Junhui contemplatively looks towards the ceiling before asking, “Hm, what do you want to know?”

Minghao sits upright and lightly shakes his head, smiling. “Anything, everything. Whatever you want.” He swings their joined hands back and forth.

“Ah,” Junhui says, suddenly thinking of something, “well you know how I was opposed to the falsetto?” Minghao nods. “Turns out they make good points because the contrast of the falsetto with Wonwoo’s low rapping voice is too good for Shua to want to pass up.”

Minghao lightly shakes Junhui’s knee before reconnecting their hands. “You have a good falsetto voice, I don’t know why you don't like it.”

“It’s not that I don't _like_ it,” Junhui whines, pursing his lips, “I just don't want to rely on it or have that be my only thing, you know? I wanna sing other styles too.” 

“Hm, that’s fair.”

“And we’re omitting my dance,” Junhui adds quickly. “It would be weird, right? Shua has to stay still because of his guitar and then there’s just me and Wonwoo… doing whatever?”

Minghao giggles trying to imagine it.

“See? So we’ll just be on stools, unless Wonwoo gets too into the rap and starts moving around too much,” Junhui rushes out. Then he pauses and thinks to himself. “Actually, I don’t think I want a stool, I might be better standing. I wonder if Wonu will do that too. He’s not really a stool type of rapper, do you think? I should text Wonu and ask.” 

Junhui doesn’t make any move to actually take his phone out, Minghao notices, just keeps going.

“Okay, Wonu and I will be standing and Shua will sit with his guitar. So I guess still no dancing but I don’t really need to showcase that for now. And it’ll just take more time trying to teach Wonwoo-yah too. Maybe we’ll just focus on the lyrics and stuff, right? Ah, I still didn’t get to show you the lyrics I was working on. Okay, I’ll show you next time but Wonu and I should work on that first, don’t you think?”

Minghao is stunned for a few seconds, blinking a few times and trying to absorb everything Junhui just said. “I — uh, yes. Lyrics. Definitely. I’ll look at them for you,” he replies, before bubbling out some more giggles. “You’re so cute.”

“Ah? All of a sudden?” Junhui leans back a bit, a little shocked but pleasantly so.

Minghao shakes his head. “No, always. You’re always cute.”

Junhui pulls his hands away from Minghao in order to cover his face, laughing as he falls backward on the bed. “Wait, no, you have to warn me when you do that.”

“Do what?”

“Say cute things. I wasn’t ready.” Junhui turns on his side and tucks his knees to his chest. “Warn me next time.”

“I can’t,” Minghao replies with another giggle. “I don’t plan them, it just comes out.”

Junhui stretches out his body like a starfish and exhales a deep sigh. “I guess my fate is to suffer then.”

Minghao slaps the closest of Junhui’s legs. “You’re saying that me telling you cute things is suffering?”

“It’s not good for my heart, _HaoHao,_ it gets all bubbly and I wanna squish you and pinch your cheeks or something.”

“Do you want me to stop saying cute things to you then?” Minghao teases.

Junhui makes a long humming sound, staring at the ceiling as he thinks it over. “Never mind, that’s way worse.”

Minghao just smiles, gently shaking Junhui’s ankle so he doesn’t fall asleep. “I think you’ll do great with your project,” he says in a gentle voice. “You’re a good singer, even if you don’t use the falsetto. You’re good at writing lyrics too, just make sure they match Wonwoo’s. But no matter what, I’m sure you’ll do well. Just think of me if you get nervous.”

After a few silent beats, Junhui groans, covering his face again and kicking his limbs about. “Ah, _HaoHao,_ my heart is doing the thing again.”

Minghao lets out another set of giggles, patting Junhui’s knee. “Good, keep it like that.” He stands up, grabbing the shirt and bucket hat from the bean bag chair. “I have to shower, but you can stay,” he says, putting the bucket hat back in the closet and heading towards the door.

“Oh yeah, you just came back from your dance lesson,” Junhui says, tossing on the bed as the realization sets in. “Wait, so that means you sat with me while you were all sweaty? Why didn’t you shower earlier? I _hugged_ you.” He spits out the last part with a cutely exaggerated nuance of venom, which is not something Minghao thought he would ever be entertained by.

He just smiles. “I wanted to see you first when I got back.”

Junhui pauses for a few seconds before he laughs and covers his face again. “Ah, _HaoHao,_ you can’t use my lines against me like that. _Ai_ — okay, just go take your shower,” he says quickly as he takes out his phone, laying on his side as he scrolls through the screen.

Minghao gathers up the clothes he’s going to change into and has one foot out the door when he pauses and looks back. “Jun-ah, you’ll be here when I get back, right?”

Junhui lowers the phone and bit and lets out a small chuckle. “If that’s what you want, yeah.” He says it like it’s no big deal, like him saying no wouldn’t scare the shit out of Minghao.

He just nods firmly. “Okay.” He leaves the room, repeating “okay” a couple times to himself as he makes his way down the hallway and tosses the shirt in the laundry basket on his way to shower.

When he gets back, Junhui _is_ still there in his room, fast asleep. Minghao sighs in relief and goes over to pick up Junhui’s phone from next to his face, placing it on the side table. It makes him laugh a little, at how often Junhui falls asleep like this. Minghao doesn’t mind looking after him though.

\-----

After his last visit where he declared he was sure he was going to ask Wonwoo out, Minghao is pretty sure Mingyu would be done coming to his room to vent or ask for advice for a while. After they get home the next day, he finds out he is wrong.

_Oh my god, not now._ Minghao thinks he hears his door open and then click close a few moments later. He’s laying on his back, Junhui’s tongue is dancing in his mouth, hand going up his side, and Minghao is just trying to enjoy it. He deserves that, doesn’t he?

He tightens his hold around the back of Junhui’s head when he hears, “Myungho, I need your help,” in an ever-familiar pouty whine.

“Mingyu, we’re kind of busy right now,” Junhui says before pulling Minghao’s bottom lip into his mouth.

Mingyu just sighs dramatically and Minghao dares to open his eyes to look over at him. Mingyu is going over to Minghao’s wine cooler and pouring himself a glass like he owns the place. 

Kim Mingyu hates Xu Minghao’s happiness: _confirmed._

Minghao taps Junhui’s back to get off him. They regrettably part and sit up to face their guest and Minghao combs his hand through his bangs. “You know, I’m going to start charging you for that. This better be good,” he says, trying to catch his breath and leaning his elbows on his knees.

Once again, Mingyu sits himself down in Minghao’s beanbag chair, “Well, it’s just…” he starts hesitantly.

Minghao wants to be angry, but ever since that visit where Junhui talked it through with him, seeing how nervous Mingyu is just reminds Minghao of Junhui before he confessed and Minghao softens. But only a little bit. 

He looks over and sees Junhui scrolling through his phone, seemingly deciding this isn’t his business this time, but he sure as hell isn’t leaving this room. Minghao gently leads Junhui’s head to lean on his shoulder and pats his head.

“I tried to ask him out,” Mingyu continues.

“And what happened?”

“He asked who else was going.”

“Did you tell him you meant as a date?” Minghao asks with growing impatience. He hears Junhui exhale a sort of laugh through his nose. Minghao just pretends it’s something funny on the screen and strokes his hair.

Mingyu sips the wine in his glass and reaches for the bottle for a refill. Minghao reaches over to confiscate it from him.

“Did you or did you not tell him you wanted it to be a date?” Minghao’s voice lowers. He hears Junhui laugh a little again and feels a hand patting his knee.

“I sort of,” Mingyu says, except he sounds unsure and creaky and Minghao doesn’t like it at all. “Okay, so — so I _did_ say I wanted it to be just us two. But then he looked so disappointed and I panicked. I tried to save it because I was really worried he’d say no and I said…” he trails off, meeting Minghao’s eyes guiltily.

“I said you would be there,” is what Minghao hears before he stands up, lets out a small Mandarin expletive, and fakes at least two swings. Junhui reflexively grabs his arms to hold him back, taking the bottle from his boyfriend’s hand.

“What? Why would you do that? You literally had one job, Mingyu! All you had to do was—” _tell him how you feel._ Minghao suddenly stops himself and his eyes glance over at Junhui, who’s too busy putting the bottle back to notice.

None of them speak for a few moments until Junhui’s hand moves down Minghao’s arm to hold his hand. _“HaoHao,_ we can go on the double date with them, I don’t mind,” he says cheerfully, swinging their arms.

“Junhui,” he starts in exasperated Mandarin. “Are you sure you want to? You don’t have to do anything because of him. You don’t even know who the other guy is.”

“Yeah, it’s okay,” Junhui answers in Korean because Junhui isn’t as rude or annoyed as Minghao feels right now. “I know Mingyu, and he needs help so….” He swings their arms again and Minghao is suspicious that Junhui knows he has a soft spot for it.

He reluctantly nods and Junhui wraps him in a hug. Over Junhui’s shoulder, Minghao mouths _‘you got lucky, bastard’_ to Mingyu. Mingyu just grins.

“So, when is it?” Junhui asks, pulling away from Minghao.

“Uh, Thursday?” Mingyu replies. 

The date he was already set to go out with Junhui, two days from now. Minghao doesn’t want to admit it, but he was really looking forward to that date he set with Junhui since they don’t often get free time to do stuff like that and it would be their first official one since the fight. And he booked it two weeks ago.

_This bastard._

Junhui seems to sense Minghao’s realization and quickly hugs him again, preventing him from lunging at Mingyu.

“What, why?” Mingyu asks frantically, hugging his arms to his chest and going to the opposite corner of the room to hide.

“Nothing, we’ll be there!” Junhui calls over his shoulder at him. He pulls back to look at Minghao and holds his face in his hands. “We’ll just go out another day, okay?”

Minghao pouts, which is more noticeable than usual since Junhui’s hands are pushing against his cheeks. Junhui’s eyes stare into his for a while, a little bit pleading, kind of reassuring, and Minghao feels his anger somehow fade away. He nods twice, despite his disappointment about the date, and Junhui responds with a forehead kiss.

“Wow,” Mingyu marvels from his corner.

Both their attention goes back to him and Junhui’s hands fall from Minghao’s face. 

“What?” Minghao asks a little bit too defensively, which just makes Junhui laugh.

“Uh, nothing,” Mingyu replies. “You’re both so cute, I want that,” he adds quietly.

“Please leave,” Minghao orders, closing his eyes and waving his hand in a shooing motion.

Mingyu doesn’t need to be told twice and scrambles out, leaving them alone finally.

“So, reschedule?” Junhui offers, going back over to the bed to pick up his phone. “I can do another two weeks from now,” he says, looking through the screens.

Minghao just nods and flops face-first onto the bed with a groan, his mood effectively ruined.

\-----

When Thursday afternoon finally comes, he and Junhui head down to the sixth floor to meet Mingyu. Minghao’s clothes are a bit more casual than usual; he picked out a black t-shirt under an open deep blue button-up top with ripped jeans. He still makes sure that it matches Junhui’s outfit of black jeans with a blue t-shirt under a denim jacket. It’s a small thing, the matching, but it’s important to Minghao.

Junhui senses his trepidation and tightens his grip on Minghao’s hand. The sixth floor dorm door opens, revealing an energetic Mingyu listing off, what Minghao is assuming, what he’s planned for today, and an attentive Wonwoo, smiling and nodding along to the beats Mingyu’s listing. Minghao is a bit curious about what Mingyu was worried about, Wonwoo seems interested enough.

“Oh, hey! Look, Myungho and Junnie are here!” Mingyu exclaims with a gesture towards them.

“Yes, they are,” Wonwoo says with a chuckle and slight fascination in his voice, pushing his glasses up. Minghao wants to know how Wonwoo would be amused by Mingyu stating the obvious but he won’t ask.

“Oh! Wonwoo-yah?” Junhui starts but Minghao quickly elbows him. Gently, of course.

Mingyu claps his hands. “Okay, let’s get going then.” He leads the way down the stairs.

“HaoHao _,_ why didn’t you tell me it was Wonwoo?” Junhui asks in Mandarin. His feet are moving quicker than usual and Minghao’s focusing on keeping up.

“Mingyu didn’t want me to tell anyone, he got pouty enough when he found out that you knew he even had a crush,” Minghao responds, still in Mandarin. “And I thought you’d immediately go tell Wonwoo.”

“You have so little faith in me, _HaoHao,”_ Junhui jokes with a _tsk_. He’s still smiling when they exit the building.

On the streets, Mingyu and Wonwoo walk closely in front and Minghao eyes the distance between them.

“Guys, we may not understand Mandarin, but we know when you’re saying our names,” Mingyu reminds casually, craning his neck to look back at them.

Junhui repeats Wonwoo and Mingyu’s names rapidly in an almost tongue-twister fashion, sticking his tongue out at the end. This earns laughs from both Minghao and Wonwoo and Mingyu ducks a bit in embarrassment.

“So, where are we going?” Minghao asks after his giggles fizzle out.

“There’s a village I wanted to show Wonwoo,” Mingyu says.

“But why do you need _us_ here?” Minghao asks out. Junhui gives Minghao a mildly offended look. “What? It’s a village he picked out for Wonwoo, not us.”

“That’s not the point, HaoHao,” Junhui explains softly in hushed Mandarin.

“Then what _is_ the point, Jun-fei?” Minghao replies in equally hushed Mandarin.

Junhui chuckles nervously, not really sure of the answer himself. Minghao lets go of his hand and bounds up, slinging an arm around Wonwoo’s shoulders as he picks up his pace. Mingyu gets pushed back towards Junhui in the process.

“So, Wonwoo, let’s talk,” Minghao says, gleaming over his shoulder to peek at Mingyu.

Mingyu’s jaw drops and he turns to Junhui. “Junnie, please stop him,” he pleads in a whining tone Minghao’s heard too many times.

Junhui responds with a wide-eyed shrug. “Literally out of my hands now,” he replies, holding up the hand Minghao abandoned for Mingyu to see.

That’s all Minghao hears of them before picking up the pace beside Wonwoo, pulling him a few good feet ahead of his best friend and his boyfriend.

“You and Junnie are wearing couple outfits, it’s really cute,” Wonwoo muses suddenly, looking up and down at Minghao’s attire.

Minghao beams. “Thank you, it was my idea.” He moves a gesturing hand up and down himself. “It’s my style.”

Wonwoo laughs and doesn’t have anything to say to that. Minghao watches his face for a bit.

“So, tell me, Wonwoo,” he says, leaning a bit closer to him. “What did Mingyu tell you about today?”

“Oh, uh,” Wonwoo says with a nervous chuckle, “he just said there was a village he wanted to show me.”

Minghao hums and nods, waiting for Wonwoo to keep going but he seems too nervous. Minghao’s going to have to work harder to coax answers out of him, it seems. “He told me you asked who else was going.”

“Yeah, that was— ” Wonwoo adjusts his glasses again, starting over again. “I was trying to gauge if he meant as a group or something. Like if he was already planning on going with Soonyoung or Seungkwannie and just wanted me to tag along or something,” he shrugs.

Minghao’s mouth furrows in a pout when he senses disappointment in Wonwoo’s voice. “What did you want it to be?”

“I wasn’t sure, that’s why I asked who was going. At first he said it was supposed to be just us two but then he said ‘oh, Myungho’s coming’. I said ‘really?’ and he said ‘yeah, of course’. He didn’t mention Junnie but I figured he might come if you were going.”

Minghao thinks it over for a bit, hearing Mingyu from behind them yell to turn at the next corner. He waves his free hand in acknowledgement. “Listen to me, Wonwoo. Mingyu’s a big clumsy idiot,” he says urgently. Wonwoo lets out a small, amused laugh. “He wanted to ask you out on a date but got scared because he said you looked disappointed. He just threw in there that I was coming so you’d still agree to go because he really wanted to go out with you. We’re not supposed to be here, this isn’t a group hangout, Junnie thinks this is a double date to help Mingyu.”

Wonwoo turns to look over his shoulder back at Mingyu and Junhui. Minghao follows suit. They probably look like weird meerkats peeking over in the space between their shoulders, and Junhui makes a curious face at them as such. They turn back in sync, causing Mingyu to yell out for their attention. They ignore him.

Wonwoo starts chuckling and says in a low voice, “I know I said I wasn’t sure before but I was sort of hoping it was a date?” Minghao looks at him doubtfully. “It’d just be embarrassing if I was hoping it was a date and Mingyu _did_ just want it to be a casual hangout.”

Minghao can sympathize with that. He and Wonwoo are a lot more alike than most of the others so he can understand Wonwoo guarding himself a bit until he was certain he felt safe.

Wonwoo continues. “He probably thought I looked disappointed because he only said there was a village he wanted to show me, like it was just a hangout.”

“But he said it was supposed to just be you two,” Minghao points out in a flat tone, trying to make sense of the mess Mingyu made.

“He did,” Wonwoo clarifies. “But that could just be any normal two-person hangout, not like a date- _date,_ you know? Like how Junnie and Soonyoung go hang out all the time, or how if you and I go hang out. Which we should do one day.” 

“We _should,_ ” Minghao muses as Mingyu’s voice behind them yells that they’re almost there. After a few more steps, Minghao catches sight of flower-painted stairs in the alley and figures that this is it. He suddenly retracts his arm from Wonwoo, backs off, and slows his pace.

“We’re done here,” Minghao says, holding his hands up in surrender. He goes over and grabs Junhui’s hand again. “Fix this,” he hisses with a finger pointed in Mingyu’s face before pulling a confused Junhui off.

When Wonwoo whirls around to see what Minghao’s doing, Minghao just gestures between them while walking backwards. “You two need to talk,” he calls before turning back and heading towards a nearby café he saw along the way. “Dragged us out here for nothing,” he grumbles to himself. They clearly made this more complicated than they had to if they’d just talked.

However, Junhui catches it and starts laughing, waving back at Mingyu and Wonwoo, and letting Minghao drag him away. “We can still take pictures on the stairs while we’re here, _HaoHao_. I know how much you like that stuff,” he offers.

Minghao thinks about it, “I _do.”_ He stops walking. “But those two idiots are there and they need alone time.”

Junhui takes out his phone and is already scrolling with his free hand. “They’re at the dandelion stairs, but there are also some fish ones nearby?”

Minghao nods. “But first, I wanna see if this place has tea I like.” He pulls Junhui into the café.

While they’re waiting for their order, Junhui whispers to Minghao, “So is this still a date?”

Minghao quickly nods because _yes, it is_ and he won’t let Mingyu take that away. “I did initially ask you out for today, didn’t I?”

They decide to sit at one of the tables by the window for a while. Junhui is quickly on his phone, scrolling away, and Minghao just feels slightly better that he's not typing.

“So what did you and Wonwoo talk about that got you so riled up?” Junhui eventually asks with a grin around his iced americano straw, glancing over.

Minghao sighs dramatically, leaning his chin in his hand, elbow resting on the table. “He also wanted it to be a date. Mingyu just made him think it was always going to be a casual hangout so that's what made him seem disappointed, and that’s when Mingyu panicked and ugh….”

Junhui seems amused by his reaction, a fond exhale of a chuckle escaping through his nose and he puts his phone away. A few moments go by before he asks, “Did you really think I would’ve told Wonwoo about the crush?”

“I thought you would’ve either told him or hinted extremely hard,” Minghao replies firmly to defend himself. “You’re extremely loyal to him.”

Junhui doesn’t have a response, just smiles one of his typical cat smiles.

Minghao looks out the window. “I like that about you, though,” he says wistfully, almost as if he was talking to himself. He smiles a little at Junhui's reflection. 

Junhui still doesn’t say anything, but Minghao sees his reflection look inquisitively up towards him. There's an odd feeling in his throat as he watches some people passing by in the window before he turns back to stare down at his tea, placed in a standard to-go coffee cup.

“I like a lot of things about you, actually,” he adds, not really thinking about it, fingers skimming idly along the rim of his cup. “You’re kind, patient, you always look out for people, try to make sure they feel included and taken care of. You work really hard, sing really nice, dance really pretty.” He hears Junhui give a small chuckle at the last point.

“I —When we first started going out, I was really worried that I wouldn’t be able to return your feelings properly. But then, I don’t know, being with you made it really easy, even when I was scared. Then I didn't have to worry about that stuff. And even if I did worry, you were there. I should’ve told you that earlier,” Minghao says with a small sigh of regret, his lips coming together in a sort of sad, squished smile. “I’m sorry I didn’t.”

He finally looks up to meet Junhui’s eyes and really tries to see him. Right now, Junhui just seems confused at where Minghao’s going with this, and a bit like he’s afraid to speak in case he interrupts. But past that, Minghao also sees Junhui's pureness and his warmth and Minghao realizes what Jeonghan meant before.

“I don't think there was a specific moment or anything like that. I don’t really have any reason. Like, it was just you, and being with you. And all these things that just sort of built up until it was _just there_ and it was the only thing that made sense.” Minghao sees Junhui mouth 'moment' inquisitively to himself and smiles. “I don’t know how to not be fascinated by you. I think — no, actually… I’m pretty sure I'm in love with you.”

Once he says it, Minghao doesn't feel an instinct to hide in embarrassment or rush to take it back the way he’s sure he would have before, the way he wanted to when he told Jeonghan. Instead, he starts giggling at Junhui as if he's been comfortably saying it the whole time. His smile only grows as he watches Junhui's expression absorb what he said and take on a wide grin.

Then suddenly, Junhui stands up, picks up his coffee cup, and reaches around the table to pull at Minghao’s hand. Curious, Minghao grabs his own cup and lets himself get dragged out of the café.

“Jun-ah, what's going on? Where are we going?” Minghao asks, watching plenty of the mural-decorated buildings pass by.

Junhui eventually stops beside the fish-painted stairs that he mentioned earlier.

“Jun-ah, what—” is all Minghao gets out before Junhui suddenly moves his hand behind Minghao's neck to bring their lips together.

There's suddenly a rush of emotions crashing into him, along with the faint taste of caffeine but Minghao doesn’t mind. It’s slow and sweet and Minghao can feel any remaining worries melt away. Junhui slowly licks into his mouth and Minghao almost wants to cry at how _affectionate_ and tender it all is. The only thing Minghao can sense is Junhui.

There are a lot of things Minghao tries to communicate through the kiss: _I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you earlier_ , _I’m sorry it took me so long to figure it out_ , _I’m sorry you waited so long, thank you for waiting for me._ He hopes Junhui can understand him. It’s all a bit tricky when Minghao remembers he’s still holding the coffee cup with a good amount of tea left.

Junhui pulls back. "Go out with me?" he asks mischievously, eyes sparkling. He brings his straw to his lips and Minghao sees there wasn’t much left in Junhui’s cup anyways.

In any other moment before this, he would've hit Junhui in the arm for teasing him. This time, Minghao puts his chin in his hand and keeps his gaze right into Junhui's eyes. "Only if you go out with me first," he says boldly before he lets out some giggles.

"Whoa," Junhui exclaims, leaning back. "I didn't expect you to say something greasy like that." He shows Minghao his hands from where his fingers are scrunched up.

Minghao refuses to feel embarrassment for this. "Hmm, oh well, guess you'll have to live with it." He steals a quick kiss.

Junhui stands there stunned. “I’ve created a monster.”

Minghao nods and takes another quick kiss. “Yes. Yes, you have.”

“Oh, yeah. I’m in love with you too,” Junhui says after a beat, “by the way. In case you were wondering. Somehow.” He keeps shoving Minghao’s shoulder at each pause and looking like he’s waiting for a response to a bad joke he just told. 

Minghao sighs, trying to hide his smile, and takes Junhui’s hand to lead him directly in front of the fish-painted stairs where he insists on taking a number of selfies, mostly with Junhui. While Minghao scrolls through the camera roll to inspect them, Junhui fiddles with the empty coffee cups and makes a grumbled comment about Minghao being too artsy. Minghao ignores him, setting one of the selfies as his phone background.

They spend a good rest of their afternoon checking out all the murals, where Minghao _does_ insist on taking plenty of pictures. Junhui is relieved when not all of them are selfies but is less relieved when Minghao asks for almost a whole pictorial to himself. Minghao does return the favor, however, so Junhui doesn’t complain _as_ much.

Junhui complaints all but disappear when they find a golden cat statue that attracts some stray cats, including Junhui, that Minghao can’t resist taking more pictures. Watching Junhui so engrossed in communicating with the cats through the phone camera screen brings back the familiar sensation of watching Junhui with the kites during their first date. 

He quickly changes Junhui’s display picture in his phone to one of Junhui with the cats next to the golden statue. It takes Minghao a significant amount of effort to eventually drag Junhui away from the statue and the strays though. 

“How do you think Mingyu and Wonwoo are doing?” Junhui asks on the walk back to the dorm, swinging their linked hands lightly. 

Minghao makes a sour face to himself, “Hopefully goddamn well because I don’t know how else to help them.”

Junhui chuckles, bringing their hands up so he can kiss the back of Minghao’s hand. “By the way, I already knew Mingyu’s crush was on Wonwoo,” he says.

Minghao feels his brows furrow and his jaw fall open a bit. He’s mildly offended. “You _already kne w ? How?_ Why didn’t you tell me?” Now Minghao feels like an idiot for trying too hard to keep it a secret for him.

Junhui laughs. “Mingyu wasn’t exactly subtle with his descriptions whenever he came to the room.” And Mingyu had been coming to the room for over a week. Great. “And I didn’t tell you because you were trying so hard to keep Mingyu’s secret for him. It was really cute.” Junhui giggles, reaching over to play with Minghao’s reddening ear.

Minghao pouts again, trying to feel his other ear to test if it’s as warm as he thinks. “So you were just acting when you saw Wonwoo today?”

“Of course! You think I was a child actor for nothing?”

Minghao sighs and looks away, smiling.

\-----

When they step through the door, Seungkwan looks over from the sofa where he’s watching a movie with Hansol. Or at least, Seungkwan’s watching a movie because Hansol’s head isn’t even facing the screen; he’s just looking straight at Seungkwan.

“Jeonghan, they’re home!”

Minghao looks at Junhui to see if he knows what’s going on, but his boyfriend only offers a confused shrug.

Jeonghan emerges from the kitchen and launches himself towards the couple. “Oh good, you’re here. Do you know how late it is?”

Minghao checks his watch. “It’s…quarter to eleven.” His voice deflates.

Jeonghan gives him a pointed look that has ‘I told you so’ written all over it.

“Why are they watching a movie at eleven at night though?” Minghao whines a little as a way to get out of this.

Seungkwan turns around shocked. “Excuse me, at least _we’re_ _home_ where Jeonghan can see us!”

“You’re right, they should be sleeping,” Jeonghan concedes. “But since _you_ were out late, I asked Seungkwannie to stay up and tell me when you’re home in case I missed it.”

“Then why is Hansol up?” Minghao fires back when he sees Seungkwan sticking his tongue out at him. In the midst of this, he barely notices Junhui slink his hand away and grumble his way back to his room.

At the mention of his name, Hansol silently stands up with a very noticeable “whoops” look on his face and heads to his room.

“See what you did?” Seungkwan asks in a whining exasperation, turning off the TV and chasing after Hansol.

Jeonghan turns to Minghao, “Well, I hope you have a good explanation for this.” 

Minghao stares right at Jeonghan and he pulls his lips into a tight line, trying to resist smiling. “I told Junnie,” he says, a little shy. 

Jeonghan gives him a disgruntled look, about to ask what he’s talking about. It’s when Minghao starts rocking back and forth on his heels that Jeonghan seems to figure it out.

“Oh my god, _you told him?”_ he asks. Minghao nods quickly and Jeonghan’s hands cup his face. “Aww, sunflower!” he exclaims, hugging Minghao’s head to his chest.

Seungkwan emerges from Hansol’s room, toothbrush in hand, and gasps. “Wait, so he’s _not even in trouble?”_

Minghao makes a bratty face at Seungkwan whose expression melts into “fight mode” and fakes a swing at him. Minghao knows he’s safe since he’s still being embraced by Jeonghan.

When Jeonghan finally lets him go minutes later, he goes to his room and finds the familiar sight of Junhui already on his bed. He’s laying casually on his back, typing away on his phone screen.

Minghao goes to his closet to rummage for clothes to change into. “Hey, Jun-ah?” he calls over his shoulder.

“Yeah, _HaoHao ?”_

Minghao looks back and sees Junhui making faces at his screen, typing even more rapidly. “Back during that fight when you said I never told you how I felt,” he begins slowly, removing his shirt to replace it with the crewneck sweater he pulled from the closet.

“Yeah?” Junhui makes a sour face at the screen, but sits up so he’s cross-legged on the bed, facing Minghao.

“You looked like you were going to ask me to tell you how I felt but you never did.” Minghao plays with the shirt in his hand and Junhui pauses, eyes moving up to meet him. “And even a couple times since then…Why didn’t you?”

A look of 'oh that' crosses Junhui’s face as he nods. “Because I knew you weren’t ready. After I kissed you during the fight, I saw that you did love me, but I also saw that you weren’t ready to say it.” He shrugs casually. “Knowing that you did was good enough for me, and I didn’t want the first time you told me to be because I practically forced you.”

Then that means Junhui knew the whole time. And purposely avoiding saying it until Minghao did first. “Is that why you didn’t really mention your feelings since then?”

Junhui looks a bit sheepish and scratches the back of his neck. “Oh, you caught that? Yeah, I knew it would pressure you into thinking you had to say something back, but that’s not what I wanted. I mean, it was _really_ hard at times not to tell you I love you, because you’re so cute and everything, but I could tell that you were freaking out about saying it back, you just wouldn’t tell me.”

“Okay, I was,” Minghao admits. “I just thought it was so important for you to hear me say and I wanted to be able to do that for you.”

Junhui makes a low _kch_ sound in his throat and scrunches his face. “I mean, it was important to me to know how you felt and where I stood. It's sweet you wanted to say it for my sake, but, I don't know, I didn’t want you to think you were _obligated_ to say you loved me, especially after I figured out that you _did_ but couldn’t say it.”

Minghao hums in response and Junhui turns his attention back to his phone, making an offended gasp before typing once more and giggling to himself. Minghao nods, even though Junhui isn’t looking at him, and changes the rest of his clothes.

He has one foot in his track pants when Junhui speaks up again. “Besides, when you kissed me during the fight, you kind of did it like you were worried I’d leave you.” Junhui moves his lips together like he’s trying out new lip balm. “Like you were desperate,” he says with a grin that melts into a chuckle.

Minghao finishes pulling on his track pants with utmost swiftness to go over and hit his boyfriend with the nearest pillow. Junhui’s laughter does not fade at all, even after falling over backwards yet again. Minghao moves to sit on his knees on the bed. “I was, though,” he says through a pout.

“I know, _HaoHao_ ,” Junhui replies, sitting up and quickly kissing Minghao’s mouth.

Minghao stares at him. “I love you,” he says with a firm nod.

“I know, _HaoHao_ ,” Junhui repeats cheekily, earning him another smack with a pillow. “I love you too.”

Minghao rolls his eyes and hugs the pillow to his chest. “Who are you texting anyways?” Curiosity got the better of him and he couldn’t keep pretending he couldn’t see what Junhui was doing the whole time.

Junhui contemplates for a while. “Hmm….” He pauses for too long and Minghao watches him expectantly. “I’m having an affair,” he finally says in a completely flat voice.

Another pillow smack. “Shut up,” Minghao whines, grumpily laying down facing away from Junhui.

Junhui’s laughter increases and he lays down behind Minghao, passing his unlocked phone to him. Minghao feels Junhui drape himself over him to peer over his shoulder, scrolling to the top of a chat history.

Minghao eyes the screen; Jisoo’s Chinese name is at the top. Minghao slowly scrolls through.

**Me** : i’m back from my date w myungho

**Me** : he said he’s in love w me

**Jisoo** : and all you said was that u liked him

**Jisoo** : weak lolol

**Me** : I mean

**Me** : it’s a little forward lol

**Jisoo** : omg shut up

**Jisoo** : you’ve literally been dating for like six months

**Jisoo** : he finally told u though that’s great

**Jisoo** : do you feel better now?

**Me** : well I mean

**Me** : his confession sounded way better than mine did so I’m a little bummed

**Jisoo** : it’s not even a competition tho ???

**Me** : but I feel way better

**Me** : u interrupted me but ok

**Jisoo** : actually fight me then ???

**Jisoo** : but told u it would be worth it

Minghao’s thumb tries to scroll to see if there’s more but that’s it. He turns to look at Junhui who looks more sheepish than earlier. Of course Junhui had to tell Jisoo; after all the worries he’d been telling him, Jisoo at least deserved to know when things were going really well too. It was sweet. 

He makes a mental note to take Jisoo out for a meal as he hands the phone back and kisses Junhui’s forehead. “You’re right, mine did sound way better. Step your game up, Moon Jun.” 

Junhui lowers his head in embarrassment. “Yes, dear.” He stretches to put his phone on the side table and settles back down behind Minghao, draping an arm over his side.

After a few minutes of silence, Junhui speaks up again, “Oh, _HaoHao_?”

“Yeah?”

“As cool as your confession speech was and everything —and I kinda love you more for it— when we fought that day, I actually just wanted to know how you felt. You didn’t have to go all out and say you were in love with me.”

Minghao’s eyes widen and he’s relieved Junhui can’t see his face. “O-oh….”

“Really, I would’ve been happy with _‘yes, I do like you, Jun-ah’_ or _‘yes, I have feelings for you Jun-ah’,”_ Junhui recites in a dramatic high pitch, causing Minghao to gulp. “Or _‘you’re the most handsome person in the world, Jun-ah, how could I not want to be with you’._ But you know, this is good too.”

“Please stop talking.”

Junhui just laughs and presses a light kiss to his cheek. 

* * *

September

Minghao looks around at most of the other members gathered on the couches around him. He shifts a little in his spot and Junhui looks over to check on him, likely thinking he’s uncomfortable. Minghao sends him a reassuring smile that he’s fine, playing with both of Junhui’s hands in his own lap while he waits. 

He hasn’t spent that much time in this dorm, but eventually Mingyu and Wonwoo emerge from a room that Minghao can only guess belongs to Wonwoo.

“Thank you all for coming today,” Mingyu begins, fidgeting with his hands. He looks like he needs to be holding cue cards. “I have called you here to inform you, that I, SEVENTEEN’s visual, Kim Mingyu, am no longer single. I am now dating the uh – Jeon Wonwoo.”

“Fucking finally,” a Jihoon-like voice grumbles from somewhere around him. 

A small giggle bursts through Minghao’s mouth before he can stop it. He makes quick eye contact with Wonwoo, who starts chuckling nervously and pushes up his glasses.

Seungcheol raises his hand. “You guys know you don’t have to hold these meetings every time you get into relationships, right?”

_“Yah!”_ Junhui objects. Minghao is completely certain that, if he weren’t settled directly between Junhui’s legs, Junhui would be standing up in protest by now, but Minghao refuses to give up his seat. “You’re just going to blatantly rip off my relationship announcement ceremony?”

“ _‘Our’,_ Jun-ah,” Minghao says in a low voice, tilting his head slightly to look at his boyfriend. _“Our_ relationship announcement ceremony.” He pats Junhui’s hand twice in comfort.

“My relationship announcement ceremony with Myungho!” Junhui corrects. Minghao shrugs and rolls his eyes because it's _close enough._

Mingyu shrinks back a bit. “Uh, I will now take questions from the audience.” He sounds far more uncertain than when he started.

Junhui shoots a hand up aggressively. “So you’re just going to steal my relationship announcement ceremony”—Minghao quickly taps his other hand— _“with Myungho,_ and then ignore my first question about ripping it off?”

Mingyu looks towards Wonwoo for support. Wonwoo just laughs and says, “Yes,” quite confidently.

Junhui’s tongue pokes the inside of his cheek in annoyance. Minghao giggles and raises his hand. “If you were going to steal our announcement ceremony, could you at least do it right?”

Soonyoung laughs while pushing Seokmin’s arm a little while Seokmin starts laughing and clapping from his spot, almost standing up, but not quite.

“We’ll try,” Mingyu says in a small voice. This is not going the way Mingyu hoped and Minghao will work to keep it that way. He meets Seungkwan’s eyes and he seems to have a similar idea as they nod at each other.

Seungkwan eagerly shoots his hand up. “Does this mean you’re not going to take care of the rest of us anymore? Just Wonwoo?”

Mingyu is stunned for a few seconds, blinking with his mouth open and he shrinks back even more.

Minghao starts looking around and sees Seungcheol and Jeonghan quietly arguing among themselves, with Jeonghan occasionally making big hand gestures and swiping at Seungcheol’s arm. He’s guessing they’re trying to figure out how to go about this new relationship after the way they dealt with him and Junhui’s didn’t work out well.

Turning his attention back, Minghao asks if all the sessions Mingyu’s been coming to his room to cry have helped, which Jihoon concurs with, saying he had a similar experience. It eventually turns into a round of Minghao, Jihoon, and Seungkwan asking various over-the-top scenarios of whether Mingyu will still take care of them or only give Wonwoo preferential treatment.

When Mingyu doesn’t answer, they follow it up with inflated bouts of feeling bad for Wonwoo having to deal with Mingyu’s tendencies. Seungkwan starts getting carried away until Hansol has to hold him back because Mingyu hasn’t been able to get a word in for about eleven questions.

_“Yah!_ Why aren’t you answering us?”

“Why would you open the floor to questions if you weren’t going to answer any?”

Mingyu sighs into his hands, “I can’t keep up! You’re going too fast!”

“ _Yah_ , weren’t you an Inkigayo MC?”

“Yeah, shouldn’t you be quicker to adapt?”

“I’ve been taking you under my variety show wing and you haven’t learned anything?”

Mingyu sighs and turns away, trying to gather himself.

When Minghao looks over to check on Wonwoo, he's gesturing and mouthing things towards Junhui. Minghao knows Junhui can’t gesture back due to his grip on his boyfriend’s hands, but sees Junhui mouthing something exaggeratedly back at Wonwoo and then shrugging with a smile.

“Jun-ah, what are you doing?” Minghao asks in a tiny voice.

Junhui meets his eyes. “Nothing, _HaoHao._ Wonwoo wanted me to stop you, but I said I can’t do that.”

“Oh, okay.” Minghao smiles proudly and Junhui plants a quick kiss to his cheek.

He then watches Wonwoo gesture towards Jisoo who’s been silently watching the whole time. Jisoo has a slightly dumbfounded open-mouth expression and his eyes flit slowly from hyperactive Seungkwan and Jihoon (who have since been joined by Soonyoung and Seokmin in asking ridiculous questions tailored specifically to target Mingyu), to Mingyu (who is still trying to get a word in), then back to Wonwoo. Jisoo shrugs.

Seungcheol is still whispering in urgent hushes with Jeonghan and Minghao wonders how Junhui got their announcement meeting ceremony thing to go so well.

Minghao then decides to ask the PDA question, which finally alerts Jeonghan and starts another round of yelling questions at Mingyu. Wonwoo tries to disrupt them by saying that Minghao has no rights to ask that after what he’s been doing with Junhui, and, unfortunately for Wonwoo, it gets drowned out by all the yelling. Wonwoo sends Minghao a slightly annoyed stare, which Minghao returns with a shrug and a smirk. Suddenly he feels one of Junhui’s hands stroking his hair.

Minghao pats Junhui’s hand to get his attention, “I love you, Jun-ah,” he says in his tiny voice.

“Yeah, love you too,” he replies, leaning his chin on the top of Minghao’s head.

Minghao smiles and settles back against him, satisfied with watching Mingyu try to get out of this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the village that Mingyu brings them to is called Ihwa Mural Village. both stairs that Junhui mentions and the cat statue are real. (there's a specific reason I put them near the fish stairs ^^)  
> so at the beginning I said this was 34k words but then as it went on, I kept adding stuff to scenes I already had (because I have a problem) and it ended up at around 47k yet I'm still worried it went too fast?  
> anyway I really do like writing junhao so I'll hopefully have more stories about them in the future. This was my first time writing something and I definitely learned a lot from the start, I'll work hard to write more.  
> Thank you so much everyone who read/enjoyed/commented and such! <3 I appreciate all of you~  
> I'm on twitter with the same @ if anyone wants to scream or something

**Author's Note:**

> Minghao may be bad at feelings but I'm just as bad at describing them


End file.
